Rae Ford Palmer

About 25 years ago, one of Rae’s great passions, ballroom dancing, led to him meeting his dear friend, Lily Le on the dance floor. This resulted in many years of the pair meeting up with other ballroom-dancer friends as often as twice a week to take a twirl around the dance floor. It also brought Rae into the Le family where the extended family welcomed him as one of their own.

To the Le grandchildren, Rae was Grandpa or Ong Rae, the man who happily accompanied them to the local park to play. The family jokingly referred to him as “Dr. Rae” for his deep interest in healthy eating; family members sought his advice on nutrition, supplements and exercise or for ideas on dealing with ailments. A part of every family gathering, Rae loved being surrounded by the extended Le clan. They appreciated his love of music as he played his violin for the family. He was also a practical man who helped a great deal with renovations to the family home something he did, the family noted, with great care and attention. Rae even had a favourite pet, the family’s chihuahua, Den.

Rae lived in Pacific Park Place Housing Co-op (PPP) where, before moving in, he was just PPP’s painter, one more contractor among many. But Rae was different. What plumber would turn up with huge bags of dahlia flowers to hand out among neighbours? Whose electrician would chat with you about the nutritional content of various foods? Slowly, Rae became absorbed into PPP’s community and, when he needed a new home, it just made sense for him to be invited to live at PPP. Residents already knew well the aged, battered van absolutely stuffed with painting gear and marveled at his ability to keep it running, especially when he cut apart and then duct-taped back together the steering-wheel, after losing the key to his steering-wheel lock.

Having Rae as a neighbour allowed for longer chats about cooking healthy meals or his love of ballroom dancing and how, in another life, he would have loved to have been a professional dancer. Rae was the kind of person who always had time for a conversation. The smiling, cheerful Rae expressed genuine interest in how and what others thought; he wanted to fully understand their perspectives, asked probing questions and responded thoughtfully, agreeing or disagreeing but always with respect. He brought that same curiosity to his self-guided study of religions as evidenced by his huge collection of descriptions of many religions, all with copious notes Rae scribbled in the margins. Ultimately, he decided that the Buddhist faith was the closest fit to his beliefs.

Rae was also handy and loved to take on projects like building supports for the raspberry canes in the co-op’s garden or saving a waist-high ceramic pot from the garbage by painstakingly glueing it back together. He had the largest tool collection –spread throughout his apartment, patio and storage locker— of any self-respecting handyman. Most were from the last century with not a battery-operated anything in the collection. As one could imagine, his apartment was completely filled with things in which Rae saw potential value; curiously, everything had a place as he added another shelf here and tucked in another file cabinet there to keep all that stuff organized.

As Rae aged, like many he dropped some of the propriety most of us embrace: for example, wearing outside clothes outside and inside clothes inside. Rae regularly strolled to the grocery store or shopping mall in his pyjamas, cheerfully waving to neighbours and strangers alike. Even the note from his occupational therapist pointing out that strangers may think that somebody wearing pyjamas outside is mentally unstable didn’t deter Rae: he simply taped the message to his door and went on living life the way he preferred, 24/7 comfy flannel and all.

While living at PPP, Rae continued his dahlia-growing habit, after getting permission from a co-op neighbour to grow the blooms against their sunny, south-facing wall. The colourful blooms, which the co-op will continue to grow, will be a reminder of a cherished member of the PPP community who spent the last two decades of his life reminding neighbours of how to live a life of passion, comfort, curiosity, kindness, joy and caring. As his brother Wally noted, “I loved that crazy old bastard”.

Rae is mourned by his chosen family of Lily Le, Fiona, Carmen and Tommy, grandchildren Mickey, Christine (ED), Aimit and Paxton, and great-grandchild Silas, his brother Wally Palmer and his PPP neighbours.