Gay Dirstine Barnes

Gay Barnes traversed the edges of life as many figure skaters do: with skill, precision, and focus. She surely landed more than one financial or score-related triple Lutz in her lifetime, but she was the kind of person who would smile inwardly and not bother notifying anyone in particular.

She entered the world in Eureka, California, on March 28, 1934 as Gay Joan Dirstine, the second daughter of Dr. Jean “Doc” Hitchcock Dirstine and Frances Esma Wilhelm Dirstine, creating a stir that never dissipated. The family moved to a modest home with a spacious yard in San Mateo, California, where she spent much of her remarkable childhood. Gay had regular contact with many in the pantheon of truly famous dancers. Her mother was a highly skilled woman who not only trained one of the world’s fastest typists, but also acted as courtier for entire dance troupes of up to 30 women. As a result, the Dirstine girls were well turned-out with impeccable manners that they polished at finishing school. Gay’s neighbor and sometime dance partner, Donnie Kirk, went on to become a celebrated dancer and choreographer in Las Vegas. She studied under the renowned Les Williams as one of his top tap dancers. She and her older sister, Joy, performed throughout their youth, entertaining wartime troops and honing their skills at additional venues.

She graduated San Mateo High School at 16, attended San Mateo Junior College, and then completed her BA in General Business from the University of Washington at 20 in 1954. She began her Master’s at Stanford that same year. There she met her lifetime partner, Frank Stephenson Barnes, and they married on December 17, 1955. She completed her MA in Business Education in 1956 and after Frank served as Fulbright Professor of the College of Engineering in Baghdad, Iraq, the two went on a whirlwind tour of the globe. In 1959, the pair settled in Boulder, where Frank continues to hold a tenured Electrical Engineering (ECEE) position as Distinguished Professor Emeritus. Gay taught courses in personal business, accounting, and typing at Boulder High School until she got pregnant with her firstborn, Stephen, quickly followed by Amy, their only daughter. Her financial investments were unerring, as was her thrift. She insisted that once she stopped teaching, her pay was how much she saved. She earned quite a salary that way.

She raised both her children to the same exacting standards she had for herself. As they engaged in various athletic activities, she discovered her true gift: judging sports. She became the Registrar of the Colorado Amateur Athletic Union (AAU) from 1975 to 1985. In that time, she was responsible for over 10,000 athletes in twenty different sports, most of them Olympic.

As certified swimming judge, she officiated at twenty National and Junior National Championships, served as the Director of Results for the 1984 Summer Olympic Games in Los Angeles, and then retired from swimming in 1985. In 1969, she started a long and satisfying volunteer association with US figure skating. She acted as skating judge from 1968 to 1985 and as US figure skating judge from 1971 to 1983, earned the designation of National Judge in 1983 and continued judging countless local, sectional, and national competitions. She served on the National Figure Skating (NFS) Board of Directors for 12 years before retiring in 2005. She remained an Honorary Member of the Denver Figure Skating Club (DFSC) and an Honorary National Judge of the US Figure Skating Association. As an additional honor bestowed by the DFSC, the Gay Barnes Award goes to a DFSC member who continues to serve the skating community in a professional capacity and shows exceptional commitment to figure skating, with the most recent recipient (Bruce Hurd) receiving the award in 2022. As Novice, Junior, and Senior US figure skating judge, her scoring accuracy was legendary. She profoundly impacted many of the new skating judges she trained, to the extent that some remained in contact with her up to her death, which was a source of comfort and delight. She deeply enjoyed each Christmas card they sent, even though the progression of her dementia prevented her from responding for the last several years.

Gay lived the last years of her life admiring the Flatirons from the expansive windows of her living room that overlooked the Front Range. She spent her last night on earth in a lively discussion of a poetry reading, had a very peaceful, uneventful sleep, and stirred in the morning hours of January 19, 2025. She began to sit up, but never made it, dying of a cardiac event.

Her father, mother, and sister preceded her in death, as did her daughter Amy. She is survived by her husband Dr. Frank S. Barnes, her son, Dr. Stephen D. Barnes (Lani Zielsdorf), and her twin grandsons: Ansel S. Barnes (Elizabeth Henrichon) and Forrest S. Barnes. Her niece, Margaret Tormey (Robert Seeds) and her nephew, Dr. Warren T. Tormey (Kim) and her great nephews Thelonius R. Seeds and Edward T. Seeds also survive her, as do her son-in-law, Richard C. Frey, his daughters Julie (Kevin) and Barbara (David), and adopted son, Ajay, and her great-grandchildren Corbin, Sara, and Rosemary.