3/12/1943 to 02/04/2021
Where do you begin when the person you love conjures up so many wonderful stories, you could write a novel. The novel could be called Ima, you’re my inspiration; Ima: The boldness of Taking the stage or taking back what is yours; Ima, the one who made me a go-getter; or Becoming like Ima: The Life of the Party. Or maybe I would just call it MYOF: MAKE YOUR OWN FUN, because if anyone knew how to take a boring day and turn it into a party, it was RUTHY!
We could be standing in the middle of the salon and if her song played on the speakers, she’d be grabbing hold of a friend and begin dancing under the chandeliers and in between the tables and chairs covered in nail files and polish, with the slight scent of acrylic in the atmosphere.
I remember going to the roller rink with Mom as a young pre-teen. In a scattered crowd, not quite large enough for people to feel the true disco vibe, she would venture out onto the skating rink floor to roller boogie. She did this thing where she turned her heel up victoriously at full speed. Soon after, the boring vibe was gone and the party had begun.
Everyone would join in. She would occasionally lift me up on to this little tiny stage beside the rink and I would show off, enjoying the pride, only a Mom can understand. I internalized her feelings of excitement and shared the joy of performing as a way to breathe life into those who are weary, because I could see it in her eyes.
Life wasn’t always a bowl of cherries as life can bring sadness even in the midst of joy. There were sad memories. When she ill, and we thought we would lose her. She always seemed to make a comeback. I could sense now that God would bring her back to life time and time again so she could share that life and liveliness she had within her with those around her. Her ability to let go and have fun was surely contagious.
Turning a plain old condo living room into a safari proved she could always make her own fun. When I was living in Nashville and she was in FL, I received a hilarious but fabulous photo! Seems she went out and bought jungle themed living room furniture! In this photo, there were creamy-beige colored couches, a GIANT frame on the wall depicting a Tiger in the fields, with wheat grass hanging in vases from the ceiling!
I could see statues of animals everywhere from elephants to Giraffes. And to seize the moment, she put ton her favorite LEOPARD print bathing suit and sprawled out on her LEOPARD print rug! Dad had snapped a photo and mailed it to me (Those were the pre- selfie days). Till this day, I can see how turning her living room into a safari highlighted not only her ability to make her own fun but also, Mom’s ability to make the mundane things in life something to celebrate.
She saw Life with childlike eyes (not unlike my Dad who was always inventing his own games out of everything from tin foil to paper cups) Where others 5 saw the cup half empty, Mom always saw the cup not very very full.
Her persistance in fighting for what she thought was right or necessary was unmatched. She never saw obstacles as obstacles but saw obstacles as opportunity.
Though she did not have the privilege to get her bachelor’s degree, like so many women in her day, AND like the song says, she didn't know much about history, she certainly knew how to Love and how to free her inhibitions. She knew how to be truly free.
Many of the best lines in her favorite songs emphasized things about her personality and offer us through great song crafting-life lessons, I feel she might have hoped we would all embrace.
Here a few:
Embracing or chasing happiness and quality of life w full abandon was another thing I learned from Mom. even if it means pretending until you really feel it! Smile when your heart is aching...you just smile
Feelings/ are nothing more than feelings...
I just called to say, I love you!
Love me w all of your heart. Because “you light up my life”
What a feeling, you can have it all, you can dance right through your life. (Mom was always dancing)
Letting go of anxiety and releasing inhibitions when needed
“Feeling HOT HOT HOT”
Letting of the past and living in the NOW, the PRESENT:
“Celebrate good times, COME ON!
Embracing a vacation now and then when you need it
“I’m leaving on a jet plane, I don't know when I’'ll be back again”
Embracing justice and acceptance for humanity for all kinds of people:
I had a hammer: Id ring out freedom, Id ring out justice, ....oh- the love between my brother and my sister
And lastly, her final embrace of heaven, as felt in the song: Fame, I’m gonna live forever
In the last years of her life, she saw me on TV sharing about how my faith made me stronger and Mom made a decision to believe Yeshua was her promised Messiah, believing in hope, heaven and a future promise of standing on streets of gold.
It is on those streets of gold right now where I believe she is putting on a concert for the angels to see, having the time of her life.
Thank you Mom, that through it all, it had to be you…with all your faults, we loved you still. Your wish was to teach the world to sing and or live in perfect harmony. And you did. Mazol Tov, Mommy on your newest and most beautiful location: up and away in a land beyond the sky. XOX
Mom, YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE
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