Gail Bearrentine

When Mom first got a Facebook account, she, like many social media newbies, often made posts that she thought were private messages or comments to other postings. So many of her posts lacked context or were responses to questions that the rest of us couldn’t see. One such post was her reaction to a football game. Not an Alabama game, an Auburn game. When I saw her cheering on Auburn, I said “Mom, stop rooting for Auburn on Facebook! Have you no shame?” She replied: “They are playing Tennessee. I root for Auburn when they play someone besides Alabama. Auburn is my state's team also.” Only a true Alabamian could get away with that statement.

Mom was born on April 5, 1942, in Caraway Hospital in Birmingham, Alabama. I guess I am allowed to share her age now. She always made me keep quiet about that. She was the youngest of 6 children and the only daughter. Four of her five brothers served during WW2. John and Leon were soldiers in Europe, and Marion and Bill were sailors in the Pacific.

On the day Mom was born, her older brother John and his wife Ethel visited her and my grandparents. My grandmother looked up at my Aunt Ethel and said, “Now it’s your turn”. Nine months to the day, Mom’s niece, Sandra was born. Sandra and Mom were more like sisters than aunt and niece.

Mom grew up with lots of nieces and nephews that were close to her own age. After Sandra, came Johnny and later Margot. Marion and his wife Miriam brought Randy, Lisa and Jeff to the family. Bill and his wife Mabel had three children, Glen, Patty and Casey. I never knew Leon because he died before I was born. But Mom did her best to keep up with his children, Robert, Lynn, Tammy, and Cindy.

Mom grew up in North Birmingham. She went to Phillips High School and then on to Samford University (then Howard College). She also attended Birmingham Conservatory of organ and was a church musician most of her life.

When Mom was 13 years old, the organist at North Birmingham Baptist was out, and the pastor asked my grandfather if Mom could play the organ that day. Without even checking with her, he said “yes.” Mom played for her first church service when she was 13 years old. And she played for her final church service at Quitman Presbyterian on April 30, 2017, two days before my brother died. She was already struggling with dementia, then, but could still play as long as my brother turned the pages of her music for her.

Mom had her first date with my dad at a Samford football game. I think of that every time I visit the campus with my son who is attending Samford currently. Mom received a bachelor’s degree in Sociology in May of 1963. She worked as a social service worker in Birmingham, Alabama at the height of the Civil Rights movement. While Birmingham was breaking out in protests and sometimes riots, Mom was out visiting her clients getting help and services to those in need.

Mom and Dad were married on July 14, 1963. Like Mom, the ceremony was simple but elegant. Instead of a bouquet, she carried a Bible down the aisle. My brother came along on July 27, 1965, and I followed on December 20, 1968. Mom had the family she always wished for, an older boy and a younger girl. We grew up in this happy split-level house in Gardendale, Alabama that I still drive by every time I am in the area. We were close to my grandparents so almost every Sunday we had dinner after church at their house.

In 1980, Southern Railroad, my dad’s employer, decided we needed to move to Valdosta, GA. The move was not easy for us, but we quickly got planted into a new church family at the First Baptist Church Valdosta, where Mom played the organ for the early service. But another church needed her too, so she played for the 11’oclock serviced at Azalea City Baptist Church.

Mom spent the next almost 30 or so years playing for various churches throughout South Georgia, including Moody Air Force Base Chapel. She went wherever she was needed. She also taught piano, played for weddings, funerals, and did a stint as a pianist at a local restaurant called JP Muldoon’s. Some of my fondest memories are of waking up to hearing her play the piano on Sunday morning to get one last practice in before church. And, wow, could she play!

In the late 1980’s, Mom went to work for The South Georgia Council on Aging where she put her social services skills back to work. She spent 17 years there getting much needed services to the elderly and infirm. I cannot express how much she loved this job and the amazing team of people she worked with. It was that team and our church families that got us through my dad’s death in 1988. When I met Mom and my brother at the hospital that day, there were dozens of people from multiple churches there to meet me and no less than 6 pastors in the chapel room where was I was informed of my father’s death.

I think it was during that time that I realized just how strong my mom was. She had a quiet strength, the kind of strength that gets up to make dinner for everyone when no one feels like cooking. Not only was she dealing with being a young widow with two kids in college, she had a mother with Alzheimer’s to care for as well.

Mom had a faith like no one else. She truly gave everything over to God and trusted Him to take care of us. Every night I saw her praying and reading her Bible, many times, falling asleep while doing so.

Mom carried on after Dad’s death. Working two jobs and sometimes three to get me and my brother through college and grad school. But she never complained. She retired from social services around the turn of the Millennium, but when I started a company providing services to children in foster care, I dragged her out of retirement to work with me. Which she continued to do until a grandchild came along.

Mom wanted to be called Mama Bear because she hated the idea of being called Grandma or Mamaw. Michael, the first grandson on both sides of the family, turned “Mama Bear” into “Bear Bears”, and it stuck. Even his friends call her Bear Bears. And now so does little brother Matthew.

Mom loved being a grandmother. When Michael was little, they would have dance parties together and against my wishes, she introduced him to Teletubbies. By the time Matthew came along, Mom was already struggling with dementia. But she always had a hug and a kiss for her littlest grandson. Mom, along with my Mom-in-law, Sandy, were the dynamic duo of grand parenting as well as the best of friends. In-laws don’t always get along, but these two were like sisters.

I will miss Mom terribly but am ever so grateful that she was my mom. She was a perfect example of what a Christian lady should be. She was always loving and kind and the most selfless human being I have ever known. Mom demonstrated the fruit of the spirit every single day of her life, even when she struggled with dementia. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Mom was all of these.

Those around her near the end commented over and over on how peaceful she was. They've seen others struggle as the end came closer. But not Mom. She radiated peace.

If I had to describe how I am feeling right now, it feels like finishing the last chapter of the best book I have ever read. A book that when you turn the last page, close it, and place it on your nightstand, you are left just thinking, wow, what a great story!

Mom's visitation will be at Elmwood Chapel Funeral Home on Sunday, January 28, 2024 from 2 pm until 2:45 pm in the Maple Room. A celebration of her life will follow at the graveside. Please come to the funeral home to line up for the procession to the cemetery.

In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation in Mom's memory to one of her favorite charities.

Fast Friends of Hall County Animal Shelter: https://www.fastfriendshcas.com/

Angels Among Us Pet Rescue: https://angelsrescue.org/

The Fisher Center for Alzheimer’s Research: ALZinfo.org