Franklin "Jack" J. Soper

For Christmas my Cousin Richie and his wife Julie sent their Annual gift to my Dad. It’s not easy to buy the right gift for a man at the end of his life. When Joann opened it for my dad and showed me, I knew it was the perfect gift. It was the white shirt, Marine tie and Marine pin on the jacket lapel my dad is dressed in today. He was extremely proud to be a marine.

On Wednesday Ronnie and I came to the funeral home to go over preparations for the day. The home is being renovated so the conference table we sat at was in the owner’s office. Paul, the director handling our arrangements stepped out to get a completed summary. Ronnie left and a few minutes later, I got up and went to the mens room. When I walked back in, the owner, Charles Spencer was in the office going thru his desk getting ready to leave. He saw the hat I was wearing and said, Oorah, I said Oorah back. I informed him I wasn’t a marine, but was wearing the hat as a tribute to my dad. He walked me over to the wall behind the conference table, and showed me a picture of his son-in-law wearing a marine outfit. He indicated he was a marine, and his son in law was a career marine, 30 years, was a commanding officer currently stationed at Quantico, and fought in some recent wars. I said my dad served 3 years in peacetime, but he had lived his whole life as a Marine.

When I said that, I had an aha moment, and it occurred to me that I had never met a man more dedicated to his values than my dad, and knew that is what I wanted to talk about today.

The three core values of a marine are Honor, Courage and Commitment. When you reflect on it, you realize they are three of the core values of any good person, and I’m proud to say my dad had them all in spades. The marine motto is God, Corps, Country. My dads was a bit more though, Family and friends first, then God, corps, country.

In addition to his passion for Family and friends, his three other passions were the sports of Poker, Bowling and Softball. He had significant accomplishments in his life in all three of these, and more importantly, all three of these sports passions, were intertwined with family and friends and his values.

First I’d like to talk a little about his accomplishments in all three.

His Pokers friends, know he was a great Poker player. I don’t think I need to remind you about that. Every Saturday morning on our drive to the diner for breakfast, I’d ask him how he did Friday night, it was usually a good indicator of which of us had to pick up the check that day. Lucky for me he won frequently. I actually think at one time he won 25 or 26 straight weeks. He didn’t brag about it though, he was very humble about winning. He loved to go to Atlantic City with Mom, and play Texas holdem at Harrahs all day long, frequently winning. After mom passed, and when his cancer had returned, Joann, Ronnie and I spent as much time as we could, and we all made several trips to Atlantic City and Mohican Sun with him. On his last trip that he was able to make to AC with us, in September, he played Poker at Harrahs, and won $1100. He could play poker.

His bowling friends know he was a Great Bowler. He won tournaments with the Kegler bowling club in the 70s & 80s. He won the Senior Grandmaster tournament in 1994 and successfully defended his championship in 1995. He won another Grandmasters tournament in 1997 and bowled in National Grandmasters in Reno and Las Vegas, and he got better with age, bowling eleven 300 games, and eight 800 series after the age of 50, including a 300/800 at the age of 75. I remember when he had just missed his first 300, bowling a 299, ending with a solid 10 pin. He was telling me about it the next day, and how disappointed he was, because he wanted to buy the gold 300 club ring. I told him if he ever bowled a 300, I’d buy the ring. He bowled a perfect game the following week. He qualified for the Long Island Masters Finals and bowled in the PBA regionals, being eliminated by his good friend Mike Kilgannon, who went on to win the Regional. In 1999 he was inducted into the Eastern Long Island Bowling Hall of Fame for his performance in the sport, and in 2015 he was inducted to the Long Island Hall of Fame for his Meritorius service to the sport.

His softball family and friends know he was a great softball player. He was the manager and our pitcher. We won championships in one of the most competitive leagues on Long Island 8 or 9 times in a ten year stretch, we won several local tournaments on Long Island, and out of state tournaments in Easton, Pennsylvania and Richmond, Virginia. Winning one of the local tournaments, qualified us for the Nationals, and we finished in fifth place in the Mens C National tournament, hosted at Baldwin Park in the late 80s. Dad was the MVP of one of the local tournaments, pitching and winning all seven games, and was the player/manager for all those league and tournament championship teams.

Those are some of the accomplishments in his life but I’d like to turn to the values.

All his Poker friends know he was an honorable man. When he organized those games and he called you or you called him about a playing in the game, it wasn’t about winning or losing money. He organized those games because he loved you guys, and loved playing Poker with you and he looked forward to setting up the next game, and playing cards with you, as much as you looked forward to playing cards with him. He might have bluffed a pot or two, but at the end of the day you knew he was an honest modest and gracious man who always enjoyed being in your company.

All his Bowling friends know the courage and commitment he had, not just to compete, but to step in and take the lead on the Grandmasters tournaments in 2001, when Ernie Petersen, a friend whom my dad loved and admired greatly, could no longer run it. Ernie knew he left it in good hands.

My dad dedicated and committed himself (and so did mom) for the next 14 years to the Grandmasters, to make sure it ran successfully month after month, year after year and grew in popularity. He made so many great friends with the bowlers and spouses there and cared deeply for you, and the tournaments you competed in. He loved the Grandmasters and showed only the greatest respect for the franchise, the bowlers, and the people that worked with him, and when he was in his twilight he, like Ernie before him, made sure he left it in good hands with Buzz Goodman, to carry the torch forward. The fact that he was inducted for Meritorious service speaks for itself as to the honor, commitment and dedication he had to the sport and to you. I heard earlier this week some bowling alleys on Long Island had a moment of silence for my dad, and that speaks to how you felt about him as well.

All his softball friends, and especially our family, who played with, or rooted for us, know my father’s commitment to lead there as well. He organized the team, not only to compete, but primarily as a way to bring our family together every week, as me and many of my cousins played on the team and all the woman in the family would come to watch. Many of our close friends from the neighborhood played on the team as well, and my father made them all feel like part of the family, and some of them even married into our family. Not only was he a great manager and leader, he was a mentor and father figure to us all. He had to have courage to manage that team as well, especially with our family’s competitiveness, with a guy like me arguing with umps all the time, or sometimes us getting into tussels with other teams. He always had a way about him to successfully navigate those challenges in an honorable and soft spoken way that would get us all moving forward again.

On those rare occasions that he himself would disagree with an ump, he would always handle it with grace. More importantly in that regard, in general I never ever heard my dad say a negative or malicious word to, or about anyone. He was always positive and honorable, spoke softly and led by words and action.

He was our families Patriarch and leader off the field as well. He was a surrogate father to all his nieces and nephews and walked my cousins Laurie and Marie down the aisle. His commitment to his family and extended family words can’t describe. All I know is it applied to all, his parents and my mom’s parents, Mom, his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, his sisters, mom’s brothers, those that married into the family, and the families of those that married into the family. Just one example, he opened his doors to my Mom’s brother when he could no longer live alone in Brooklyn, and my Uncle moved in with Mom and Dad. When my uncle could no longer drive, Dad took him to all his VA, Doctor, Oncology and chemo appointments, and he (and mom) committed 3 years of their lives, in a selfless way helping to care for his brother in law. He was a man of modest means, but would give us all the shirt off his back to make our lives better. If he could, he would move heaven and earth for any of us. And his commitment was the same with all his friends, whether thru Poker, Bowling, Softball, Work, School or a Neighbor.

Honor, Courage, Commitment, my father was always true to himself and his values, and although he never fought in any war, he was the greatest marine, and man, I have ever know, and will always be my hero. Semper Fi dad, Rest in peace, I love you, we all love you.

Death Notice:

Franklin J. (Jack) Soper, 81, of West Babylon, NY on January 3, 2018. Beloved husband of the late Lorraine Soper. Cherished father of JoAnn Gorr, John Soper, Ronald Soper and the late Donna Asner. Loving grandfather of Daniel, Amanda, Casey and Corey. Great grandfather of Sarah and Sage. Dear brother of Patricia Soper and the late Marilyn Heimerle. Brother-in-law to Philip Painchaud and the late Richard Painchaud. Adored uncle to many nieces and nephews. Friends and family may visit at Claude R. Boyd-Spencer Funeral Homes, 448 W. Main St., Babylon, NY on Sunday, 2-4:30pm and 7-9:30pm. Funeral Mass Monday, 10am, at St. Joseph R.C. Church, Babylon. Interment to follow at North Babylon Cemetery. www.boyd-spencer.com.