Phyllis "Pat" Richards

Pat once wrote; “For people who love and are loved, any small thing can summon up the smiles and tears, sighs and dreams, that make up a life. The Dance. –My Dance- will go on. Life, after all, is strange and beautiful – and damned interesting, isn’t it?”

That pretty much expressed how she lived her life- until she left this one- curious, as always, to see what’s next.

Born in Brooklyn, N.Y. to Humphrey and Marguerite Dingley at the height of the depression, her mother planned to name her Patricia. Instead, she listened to a nurse’s insistence there were too many babies of that name, so she chose Phyllis - a name Pat never felt comfortable with. While still an infant, she and her parents moved into her maternal grandparents (Fred and Louise Heiser) Brooklyn brownstone.

An “A” student in Elementary and Junior High Schools, top of her class in both, she then chose the High School of Commerce in New York City, since they offered a journalism course, a career she hoped to pursue. Ironically, they cancelled it after she enrolled there, but she stayed on, planning to take it up in college. But, in her senior year, she met a transfer student, James Coots. She and Jim became sweethearts, and after graduation, she worked as a model in NYC’s fur market, putting off college and journalism. She and Jim were married in September of 1951 and moved into a studio apartment in Greenwich Village. Though they loved each other, it became apparent they had too many differences. The marriage was annulled a year later.

After six years of modeling, on a whim she answered an ad for Arthur Murray dancers, as dancing had long been a passion. She met a fellow teacher, Tom Curci, and they married in 1958, but that marriage also proved a mistake, and they separated before their second anniversary.

In May of 1960, her best friend of 10 years introduced her to her step-brother, David Richards, a Miami Beach Police Detective, visiting his father in N.Y. Instantly attracted (she always said she fell in love with his mind first!) they pursued mostly postal courtship, with letters flying back and forth for a year, until they were married in Miami a year later, May, 1961. Said she finally got it right! – They were together for 48 years until his death in 2009.

Their son, Steven, was born in July of 1962, and when he was 5 months old, David’s 3 children from his previous marriage, Stephanie, 11, Terry, 7, and Kathleen 3, moved in with them. The family joke was they had 4 kids before their 2nd anniversary. A stay-at-home mom until Steven turned 4 and started nursery school, she then found a new career as a travel agent. For the next 10 years, she and David traveled extensively in Europe, the Caribbean, the U.S and Canada. This also included many camping trips with all 4 children. She enjoyed it all, the trips, the boats, the camping, the picnics, and the beaches. Music always filled their home, from Bach and Beethoven to Big Band sounds; to the Beatles and Rolling Stones; from Puccini Operas to Pink Floyd. From Billie Holiday to Nina Simone, to Joan Baez, Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen…

When David returned in early 1977, they moved west to their dream state, California, finding a wonderful home on a hill above the lake in Atascadero. Steven attended Atascadero High while oldest daughter Stephanie moved to Oakland, Terry and Kathleen remained in Miami.

David and Pat (using her true name last), worked for a while in Real Estate, but David grew restless in retirement, and in 1981 they moved back to Miami, David as chief of security for the Cricket Club and Condos, and Pat, again changing careers, became an administrative assistant to the general manager. They reluctantly sold their beloved California house and bought a condo on the causeway between Miami and Miami Beach.

By 1988, having had enough of Florida, they pulled a fifth wheel trailer back to California spending 2 years in an RV park in Morro Bay, reuniting with their son Steven, who’d stayed in Atascadero. Tragically, Steven died of injuries from an auto accident in April of 1989, at age 26. Devastated by this unexpected loss, they moved in 1990 to a lovely mobile home in Rancho Del Bordo Senior Estates in Atascadero. At Pat’s urging, David turned to writing as a distraction from grief, and joined SLO Night Writers after winning first place in their short story contest. He soon got Pat involved (finally back to writing!), and they subsequently joined the Cambria Writer’s Workshop, where they made new friends. Writing, and enjoying the company of fellow writers kept them busy and happy.

Both David and Pat were elated when son Terry found his own ‘red-headed soul mate,’ and married his Irene in 2000. Pat’s wonderful circle of friends sustained her through David’s decline with congestive heart failure, and his death in March, 2009, two years after his younger daughter Kathleen died from the same cancer that took her older sister, Stephanie, ten years earlier. In May of 2009, Pat rejoined the Cambria Writer’s group. It helped her through her healing process, and she wrote several novels in the next few years.

Pat continued her passion for reading, and never did stop dancing, thou solo, and in bare feet. She took up Tango lessons after her 80th birthday. Said she needed to remember how to dance with a partner again- and in shoes! That brought great joy to her life, and she loved dancing at the Madonna Inn with her teachers, Frank and Rod, who became good friends. Music filled her days, especially her favorite singer, Leonard Cohen. His lyrics, she said, seemed to speak to her. Always an optimist, Pat’s philosophy was, “ Life may not always be a party, but while you’re here you may as well dance!”

Survived by beloved son Terry, and his incredible wife, much loved daughter-in-law (and friend), Irene, of Miami; her wonderful and supportive circle of friends (you all know who you are!)- as well as her very special feline pal, Smoky Joe, who sadly pre-deceased her in 2017, but stayed in spirit.

“Let a tear fall, if you will, but let a smile come quickly, for I have loved the laughter of life. Go- eat, drink, talk and laugh- and never stop dancing.”

A celebration of Life will be held at a later date.

In Luo of flowers, contributions to the Democratic National Committee would be favored.