Tamra Stout Steffen

Tamra Ellen Stout Steffen (Tam), age 81, passed away on Friday, October 6 at her home in Cary, NC, surrounded by her family. Tam was born in Washington D.C. at Georgetown Hospital on July 10, 1942, the first child of James J. and Evelyn M. Stout, and raised in Arlington, Virginia. She graduated as valedictorian of her senior class from Washington-Lee High School in Arlington where she participated in multiple sports and academic clubs. Tam attended Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where she graduated Phi Beta Kappa in May 1964. While at Wake Forest, she made life-long friends as a member of the Fideles Society and participated in multiple clubs. Wake Forest is also where Tam met the love of her life, Eugene A. Steffen, whom she married in Omaha, Nebraska on August 11, 1967, upon his return from Vietnam. After college, Tam worked for the National Science Foundation, from 1964 to 1967 in personnel administration until they moved to Memphis. She was a fifty-year resident of Manassas, Virginia and also lived in Rutherfordton, NC; Memphis, TN; Camp Lejeune, NC; and Cary, NC.

Tam was a dedicated wife and mom who spent her life supporting her family and staying involved in the lives and activities of her three children. She served as a Girl Scout troop leader for several years, volunteered in the kids’ classrooms, drove to and from multiple athletic practices and lessons, and still found time to make home-cooked meals and volunteer at Ellanor C. Lawrence Park in Fairfax, VA. Her children were so fortunate to have an amazing mother that encouraged them to never be afraid to try new things, travel the globe and explore new places, give their best efforts in whatever endeavor they undertook, and to be kind and caring members of their family and community.

Tam led by example as the list of her own activities and hobbies were endless. An early love of antiques grew into the hobby of buying and restoring antique trunks, which ultimately grew into a successful business. She sold her trunks at Clifton Day Festivals and other craft shows in northern Virginia. Woodworking and carving was another longtime hobby that Tam started while the family was stationed in Camp Lejeune in the 1980’s, and she was a regular at military base woodshops wherever she lived. She focused initially on carving birds and eventually transitioned to carving and painting holiday figures, most notably Santa Clauses. In the months leading up to Clifton Day each year the house would be filled with armies of Santa's lined up in various forms of completion as she worked endlessly to make them all perfect. Her efforts were praised at Clifton Day as people would run to her table first thing to buy her new Santa designs before she even had time to unpack.

Tam’s talents did not stop with woodworking as she could make, fix or repair almost anything she put her mind to. She built desks, sewed curtains, wallpapered and painted rooms, and tackled any home repair project she was faced with over the years. Later in life she took up the hobby of rug hooking with her sister, Trudy, and enjoyed many weekend hook-ins where they spent time with friends. Her trunks, carvings, and rugs will be displayed and bring joy to countless homes of former customers, friends, and family for generations.

When Tam was not working, she stayed active throughout her life. She was an avid tennis player who cherished her weekly game of tennis with a close group of friends. Her tennis friends were a blessing and she missed playing with them tremendously when her health declined. She also enjoyed many annual gatherings and travels with her Wake Forest college friends, the GOTH (Girls on the Hall), and playing bridge with friends.

One of her greatest passions and attributes was her love of nature and animals. She rescued and cared for many birds, turtles, dogs, and other animals over the years, including crawling under an old, abandoned house in North Carolina to save some orphaned puppies. She owned and cherished many family dogs through the years.

Tam will be missed dearly and is survived by her husband of 56 years, Eugene A. Steffen, her three children, Erika Steffen Phillips (Allan), Kristen M. Steffen, Bryan E. Steffen (Becky) and seven grandchildren Jackson and Bayley Phillips; Emily, Katie, and Libby Gascoigne; Colby and Maggie Steffen. She is also survived by her siblings, Trudy Jackson, Teri McMinn, and Thomas Stout (Nancy); brother-in-law Howard Steffen (Susan); multiple nephews, nieces, cousins; and many childhood, college, tennis, and rug-hooking friends. She was preceded in death by her parents, James J. Stout and Evelyn Mae Stout (nee Call); her in-laws, Mary and Albert Steffen; and brother-in-law Tony Jackson. Though she is no longer here with us in the flesh, her beautiful spirit will live on in all of us forever.

The family would like to thank the amazing staff at Transitions LifeCare for their wonderful care and support of Tam over the last two years. They are truly angels.

In lieu of flowers, donations can made to one of the many the animal rescue groups she supported and loved or Transitions LifeCare at:

GRREAT-Golden Retriever Rescue (https://grreat.org)

Lake Country SPCA (www.lakecountryspca.org)

Transitions LifeCare (https://www.transitionslifecare.org/donate/)

A Celebration of Life will be held at Apex Funeral Home in Apex, NC, on November 4, 2023, at 1:00 p.m. Tam’s final resting place will be at Arlington National Cemetery at a later date.