Supporting Children When a Parent Dies From Overdose
The death of a loved one as a result of substance use can leave a family reeling. When a parent dies from overdose, children of all ages can be tremendously impacted. The most important thing you can do is recognize that grief is unique for each child, just as that child’s relationship with the person who died was. Quite often, listening is the best way you can support a child or teen dealing with the grief of losing a parent to addiction.
Overdose deaths are often stigmatized, surfacing taboos, judgments and misconceptions. The stigma associated with such deaths may leave families feeling isolated, ashamed and misunderstood. The information known about a person’s substance use is also significant. The loved one may have had a substance-use disorder, used substances in social or inconsistent ways, or may have died from a single use. A child may need support in navigating these and other complexities of a substance use–related death.
A substance-use disorder can place tremendous stress on the family. The person may have hidden their disorder from the child, so their understanding of it was their absence. Others may have seen emotions expressed in unhealthy ways or a lack of emotions. When someone dies of an overdose, the grief may have started before the death. The loved one may have been unavailable to the child or may have behaved differently as a result of their illness. There may have been prior struggles with the person who died, and the death may surface unexpected feelings, such as relief, that may be complicated for children to navigate. The nature of substance use may also impact the grief experience. In cases of long-term substance use, the child may have experienced anticipatory grief before the loved one’s death.
All children are likely to experience changes after the death of a significant person in their life. These changes can feel like additional losses, challenging a child’s sense of stability and security. This can include moving homes or neighborhoods, changing schools, adapting to a new caregiver, financial changes and a shift in responsibility on the child. It is important to consider these changes when offering support.
Supporting children after an overdose death requires open communication, honesty and empathy. As a trusted adult, you can be the first to answer and openly acknowledge the child’s questions and concerns. Each child’s grieving process is unique, and offering age-appropriate explanations can aid in their understanding and healing. Creating a safe and supportive environment for children to express themselves and ask questions is vital in helping them cope with this challenging experience.
The National Alliance for Children's Grief, with the support of Dignity Memorial®, created "Supporting Children Grieving a Substance Use–Related Death," a comprehensive toolkit for parents, teachers, coaches and others. It offers helpful tips for supporting children and teens after a death from overdose. You can download the toolkit from the organization's resource library.