Loretta A. Davern

April 20, 2015. Beloved wife of James; loving mother of Michael (Colleen) and Mark Davern; devoted grandmother of Molly and Michael and great-grandmother of Anthony; daughter of the late Vincent and Fannie (LaPorta) Chiarmonte; dear sister of Joseph (Judy) Chiarmonte, Frances (Steve) Trimper and Melanie Chiarmonte; also survived by nieces and nephews. Family will be present on Thursday from 4-8 PM at the PERNA, DENGLER, ROBERTS FUNERAL HOME, 1671 Maple Rd., where Prayers will be offered Friday at 8:30 AM followed by a Mass of Christian Burial celebrated from Christ the King Church at 9:30 AM. In lieu of flowers, contributions in Loretta’s name may be made to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. Online condolences offered at wwww.denglerrobertspernafuneral.com

Loretta Davern Biography

Lovingly written by Jim Davern in memory of his late wife

Early Childhood Period:

Loretta Ann Chiarmonte was born July 12, 1943 to Vincent & Fannie Chiarmonte and she was named after her grandmother, Loretta Chiarmonte. At the time, she had a brother, Joseph, who was four years older. Later came her sisters, Frances & Melanie.

Lori had a very happy childhood, being brought up in a very loving and safe family environment. She had eighteen aunts and uncles and quite a number of cousins, most of which lived very close to her house on the west side of Buffalo at 412 Seventh Street.

One of Lori’s favorite stories that she told me happened around the time her m other started giving her some chores to do. She fondly remembers that her brother Joe set her up to take over one of his chores: washing dishes. At the time, she was only allowed to dry them. Joe boosted her up to see the dishpan and all the bubbles she could make and taught her how to wash the dishes saying, now that will be your job.

Other memories also involved her brother, Joe. She was his shadow, and he was her hero. Another story she liked telling me was the time Joe was playing ball with his friends and she was watching by the fence. Accidentally, she cut herself on the fence and started crying. As he rushed to her aid, his friends said, “where are you going?” Joe said, "I’ve got to take care of my sister. I’ll come back if I can.”

She also got a kick out of telling the story of how she would have to sit a few rows away from him when he took her to the show.

Joe's story about Lor:

This story is a factual account as best as I can recall.

The year is 1944 most likely mid to late summer. We (mom, dad, Lor and Me) were living at 294 Prospect Avenue in Buffalo. It was Lor's second home she lived in, born the year before at 430 7th Street and my third. Being a toddler and not walking all that long, she was probably 18 month's old. She was curious as most little ones are. One afternoon, I remembered mom, Lor and me were in the kitchen. Ma was sweeping the floor. In the middle of the room was a small chair, kindergarten type, that followed mom home from School #1.

Lor spotted the chair and started to climb up on it, first kneeling on it, then standing. Her big brother who was always suppose to be watching his little sister was doing just that, watching! As she tried to stand up on the chair, she fell forward to the floor, face first knocking out her left front tooth. I can still see her crying with her bloody mouth. Then panic set in. Mom said, we have to find the tooth. She said dad, who was at work, will go crazy because we weren't watching his little princess. So mom started sweeping the floor and found the tooth. She said it could be put back in by the dentist. I don't think it ever got that far being that it was a baby tooth and the second tooth would come in and fill the space. However, things didn't work out that way. She started to get her second teeth in due time but the gap remained. The second tooth didn't come in as it should have with the rest of them. Just for a second, picture that little girl that we've all seen in a pinafore dress but with a gap up front in her mouth. STILL GORGEOUS.

Anyway as the years went by, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, she picked up the nickname "TOOTHLESS ANNIE". If you ever heard it, that's how it started. She had all her second teeth except one. Finally she must have been 7 or close to it and that tooth started to come in. HURRAY!! Anyway, I remember walking her to school every day and picking her up to go home asking if anyone made fun of her missing tooth. They had better not!!

Even as a adult when I saw her smile I could tell the difference or maybe it was just my imagination because I knew.

Lor was my little sister for over 71 years. I think of her every day and will miss her till the day I die. Love Joe

Other happy memories involved being a big sister to Frances and Melanie. Loretta embraced the opportunity to take care of them, although at times they limited her playtime with her friends. Being an innately caring and loving person, she embraced the responsibility of helping the rest of the family nurture them. She also included Frances, her sister closest to her in age, in her playtime. She loved the opportunity to teach Fran, nicknamed “Panny,” how to dress cardboard dolls with cut-out paper clothes. This would be the beginning of developing her artistic ability, which I elaborate on in her eulogy.

Grammar School Period:

Lori went to Holy Cross Grammar School, taught by Felician nuns all eight years. She was well behaved and had good grades, except for arithmetic. She was very proud of herself when she told me the story about how she did not join her other friends in picking on this one particular classmate. For some time, it cost her the friendship of her other friends. She said to the picked on classmate "I’ll be your friend."

High School Period:

Lori attended Bishop McMahon High School for four years, which prepared her to work in an office. Her favorite subject was history, and the one she didn’t like much, you guessed it: math.

To summarize her life so far, the combination of coming from a large and loving family; being in a very friendly, protected neighborhood; and having twelve years of a solid education in a faith driven atmosphere, gave her the foundation she needed to be the best daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, etc., in the world!

High School to Pre Marriage Period:

Lori entered my life in December of 1960, which started the best period of my life. I know that is a profound statement to make, especially because I come from a very happy, loving, and caring family, but it’s true. Over the wonderful 55 years we’ve embraced each other, 52 of them in marriage, she completed me. She taught me so much. The most important lesson she taught me was how to put other peoples’ well being ahead of my own self-interest.

We met at Kleinhan’s Men’s Store. We were both there working part time over the Christmas holiday. She as a shirt bundle girl, and me as a shirt salesman. She was a seventeen year old angel, and I was a twenty-one year old, fresh out of the Navy, "would be" Casanova.

The story she would love to tell about was the night of our first meeting when she accepted my offer to drive her home after work. What I didn’t tell her was that my car was in my driveway, two bus rides away from Kleinhan’s. When we got to my house, she called her mother to explain the late hour and was able to somewhat alleviate her mother’s concern by telling her that Uncle Joe Chiarmonte and Uncle Fred Buffamonte were friends of my family.

My favorite story of our early courtship was the time when I explained to her that she was the number one girl among others working for Kleinhan’s. We were on break waiting for an elevator and she looked me straight in the eye & said, "Jim, I not only want to be number one, but if I can’t be the only one, you can take a walk." Right then and there I knew she had my heart.

Mike & Mark Period:

We were married January 18, 1963 and Mike was born in November. We couldn’t be happier. Sharing our love for him with Grandma Fannie, Grandpa Vince, and Lori’s two sisters. We lived at 424 Seventh Street, only two doors away from Lori’s parent’s house.

Then came Mark, seven years later, while we were still living on Seventh Street. There was plenty of love for both of them from us and our extended family including Gram, Gramp, Lori’s sisters, aunts, uncles, and lots and lots of cousins.

She was the perfect mother and wife, blending understanding, discipline and unconditional love, on all of us. She embraced her dual roles and her life to this point, amply prepared for it. We cherished that period of time as our love also grew for each other. The Sunday rides, sauce every Thursday & Sunday, birthday celebrations & holiday festivities, especially at Christmas time, meant so much to all of us.

In 1970, because our family was getting larger and because we, like everybody else, wanted our own home, we moved to Tonawanda. Even though we were ten miles away, if you know Italian families, we continued to partake in all the above. So, in essence, the only thing we lost was an instant baby sitter. We still had the benefits that went along with a larger loving family.

Being More On Our Own Period:

During this period, the following happened: First, Lor, over time, honed her parenting skills to the highest level. Read what Mike & Mark wrote in her Reflections. Second, for the effect she had on me, read what I wrote in her Eulogy and Reflections. Third, she developed her artistic skills to the highest level, as evidenced in the Eulogy. Fourth, she became the most valued school aid at Kenmore Middle School. See the retirement speech, delivered by her co-worker. She was so grateful to know how much she was appreciated. Further, and more importantly, she was so proud to learn the lasting positive effects she had on her past suspension room kids who came back to thank her for how she helped them. In summary, Lori had a very significant impact on everybody. Once again, see what everybody wrote in her Reflections.

The following stories will give you greater insight about my Lor, Lori, Babe, Sweet, Sweetheart, Angel Girl:

The Las Vegas story I’m about to share with you will show a different side of her. She was definitely caught in the fun of Vegas!

Our Los Vegas Trip in the 70’s: We were twenty-two family members flying to Vegas and except for Steve and Fran, it seemed like the only time we saw the other eighteen family members was five days later, boarding the plan for home. I concentrated on Blackjack and Lori on the slots. About the second day I told her that I wasn’t having any luck and she said to me "Jim, I know this sounds crazy but I’ve been playing these two machines and I’m ahead by about $500.00. Furthermore, I’m having conversations with them and your best chance to win is between 2 and 3 in the morning. Since your not having any luck, I’ll let you play on one of my machines.”

I lost $40 in twenty minutes on her machine, so I went back to the Blackjack table. About ten minutes later, I hear the jackpot noise and a thrilling scream. She won another couple of hundred bucks. We went back to our room; she stood on the bed, threw up the money and yelled what a wonderful place this is. It’s snowing money!"

1980’s & 90’s: Lori always tended to be mild mannered, but if you messed with her family, she was a bear. Three examples of this involved, Mike, Mark, and Me.

1) Me at work at the Rath Building: Some of you can relate to this. The job is going along smoothly for years, you get a new boss and all of a sudden you get leaned on for not up-to-par job performance. I tell Lori. She strongly supported me and came to the Rath Building for our meeting with the union and was a vital part of our strategy to combat the boss. On the way out of the building, she gave my boss the most fiery, “don’t mess with Jim,” look!

2) Mike at work at the Rath Building: Some time later, Mike came to work, at the Rath Building and to retaliate against me, he was harassed and was insufficiently trained. He was vulnerable because he was a new employee and on probation. He had no chance to succeed from the start. He was getting flack from everybody, including his fellow workers who were supposed to train him. Lori, without telling anyone, including me, went down to the secured Rath Building, passed the guards and found her way into the room where Mike and his teammates were. His head was down so he didn’t see her enter, but when he looked up, he couldn’t believe it. Very quietly she said, “Don’t worry Mike, I won’t embarrass you, but which one of these people are giving you the hardest time? I just had to see for my self." Again on the way out, she gave Mike’s co-worker that same, “Don’t mess with Mike” look!

3) Mark at Pep Boys, the car repair shop: Mark had an old clunker that was acting up. He took it into Pep Boys for an estimate. About an hour later, we received a call from him saying, they took the engine apart and they want a couple of hundred dollars to fix it and won’t put it back together. Lor said to Mark “tell them to put the one in charge, on the phone.” After about 10 minutes of fierce conversation, 9 minutes of which was her talking to the manager, her last words were, "do you want me to come down there?” …Mark was back home, with the car, in about a half hour.

Our trips to New England: Lori loved vacationing in New England, and we had such a great time the first time we vacationed there that we had to go back a second time. She loved to shop. So basically, we decided to go back to see the historical sights. See the vacation pictures in the photo section: her smiles say it all.

Our multiple garage sales: See the comments made by our friend, Jim Dessert, in the Reflection section about how Lori loved to purchase collectibles. To share our collectibles and make a little money from friends, relatives, neighbors, etc., we had garage sales. These sales brought out Lori’s extraordinary organizational and product presentation abilities. We would work about a month getting things ready, Lori doing 75% of the work. See the pictures in the Photo Section.

The fun she had with her school friends: Especially in celebration of the numerous school holiday events. She was the unanimous choice to be in charge of the decorations of each event. This brought out her artistic talents. Read what was said about her in the Retirement Tribute speech.

Retirement Period, or what I like to call it:

“The Husband and Wife Back and Forth” Period or the “I Really Appreciated Her Humor” Period: I must explain to those people who are reading Lori’s biography and don’t know us very well, we couldn’t be more opposite. Lori is business before pleasure, and I’m pleasure before business. I’m the straight man comic, she the punch line comic. She the multitasker, and me, the single-tasker who wants to take his time on that single task. Our relationship was a cross between the old husband and wife sitcoms on TV, “The King of Queens,” and “Everybody Loves Raymond.”

A few examples of our banter:

1) Me speaking to Lori: “what would you do without me?” Lori’s response to me: “let me think about it.

2) Me speaking to Lori, trying to help her in our small kitchen "should I just sit here and do nothing?” Lori’s response to me: "yes, that’s what you’re good at."

3) After describing her meager meal and looking at my large portion, she said, "and I wonder why my behind has to be the size of Texas".

4) Lori was a constant critic of my driving. Once, when we were about three blocks away from our house, she made her third criticism of my driving. I pulled over and very calmly said to her " If the Lord was driving this car, you would be criticizing Him" …She didn’t talk to me for the rest of the ride, darn it!

5) Functional Fun / Recreational Fun:

This story is another example of what a positive effect Lori had on me. It's call the FUNCTIONAL FUN - RECREATIONAL FUN STORY.

The prelude to the story, has to do with my inability to be handy, and consequently I would procrastinate when it came to doing little jobs around the house, fearing failure. We were in our kitchen, and she, in a very serious manor, sat me down for a serious conservation. She said "Jim, I know how you love have recreational fun! Golfing, Bowling, Swimming, Cross Country Skiing, Ice Skating, etc. Did you ever thing about having functional fun by doing odd jobs around the house"?

She was so serious that I took it seriously finding wisdom in her comment. Believe it or not, the truth of the matter is, that my procrastination lessened after that. Although I can't say that functional fun became as much fun as recreational fun, but I had an awakening that if I messed up I could call upon a handy man to bail me out. THANK YOU LOR.

The Other-Than-Banter Period of our Retirement Time:

This period of time gave us more time not only to enjoy each other, but also our family and our friends.

We, together with a couple from Kenmore Middle School, volunteered to be ushers at Shea’s Performing Arts Theater. The perk was, of course, experiencing the entertainment. We attended other entertainment functions such as our seasons subscriptions to the Musical Fare Theatre and the Philharmonic Orchestra.

We also had the time to enjoy and take our turn at hosting monthly Family Game Nights. It was our choice to mainly center our activities on our family.

Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, visits from my two brothers, John and Terry, up from Florida (party time), reunions, both Chiarmonte and LaPorta’s and what a time we had at our 50th Wedding Anniversary Party! We celebrated it at Russell’s Steaks and Chops Restaurant on April 20, 2013.

We went to a six-week watercolor painting class together. The deal was that she would join me on the golf course, which she did. See the picture section of the book.

We both cherished our midnight walks in the neighborhood, coming home playing Scrabble, which 95% of the time, she won, and then we would start our movie.

Yes, we enjoyed different activities apart but when we were together, it was bliss. Our mutual respect and enjoyment of each other was well founded. What was the same about us? Our deep unconditional love and appreciation of our faith, morals, and family.

In Summary: Hopefully in writing this biography I’ve come close to capturing the essence of the one I love so very much. Lori has left a huge gap in my life and in all of our lives. What has helped me and will continue to help me is knowing that she lived up to her fullest potential, as God's child. and when that happens, you have lived the happiest life possible, earning your reward in Heaven. The gift the Lord gave to her, at an early age, was the gift of living a selfless life. She was happiest when she made other people happy. We are missing her dearly, but oh what wonderful memories!

Loretta Davern Eulogy

Offered By Jim Davern on April 24, 2015 at Christ The King Roman Catholic Church

Welcome. I'm attempting to get through this without crying, which I have done quite often this past week, and my very close cousin, Art, is here to pinch me if I start.

Thus we begin the Eulogy of “Babe,” “Hun,” “Sweetheart,” or my favorite name for Lor: “Angel Girl.” We're all here to pay tribute to a life full of accomplishments of a very special lady, not only special to me, but special to all of you.

What made her special? I will enumerate, and not necessarily in the order of their importance, those qualities that made her special:

Her generosity: Lor’s sister, Frances “Panny” said it best the other day: “She was happiest when she was doing something, for someone else.” What a great way to go through life. Her love of people in general, and love of family, specifically.

Examples: Daily calls to our bachelor son, Mark, to see how he was doing. Most Sundays we had Mark, Mike, Colleen and the grandkids over for dinner. And many times we would include other extended family members, especially Grandma Fanny, Grandpa Vince, and Aunt Santa, whom she now joins in heaven.

“Take some food home,” “Call if you need me,” “Be careful driving,” were only a few of her repetitive loving refrains, as they left our house on those Sunday nights.

Her ability to control and gain the respect of the kids at the Kenmore Middle School, where she worked as the suspension room aid for 20 years. Two days after Loretta announced her retirement in 2003, the principal of the school announced that she was also retiring and said to Lori "my job would be getting a lot harder, if I stayed. Thanks, Lori for a job well done."

Her tidiness & cleanliness. Ask anyone, Loretta took great pride in keeping the house immaculate. My late mother would say, " Loretta cleans her clean." By the way, once a week my job was to clean both bathrooms, the basement & the hallways & kithen floors. We were partners, in every way.

Her talent in the arts, crafts, painting and home decorating areas. She would paint scenes on walls and various pieces of furniture. She specialized in gift basket arrangements. This was her hobby, and she could do it in her home, where she was most comfortible.

Lastly, Her courageous fight against a rare form of cancer that lasted two arduous years. Her fervent desire in the last few weeks was to stay in the home she loved so much, and with a great deal of help from the family, we we're able to fullfil that desire. Because of the greatness of family love, which increased daily, we were able to deliver on the promise we made to her. There are no words to describe how much that meant to her and to me, thank you so much.

I could go on and on, about those qualities that made her special, but Father John gives eulogists just five minutes, and cousin Art is intensifying his pinching!

This past week I must say that I feel her presence more and more each day. She has become my intermediary with God, whom I have always made a habit of talking to everyday. Now when I talk to Him I say “Lor, ask the Holy Spirit, to enlighten me in how best to tell all of you about your special qualities.”

You be the judge, I hope I have succeeded.

Finally, in my view the marriage vow should be rewritten to include “until death do us part bodily, because my Angel Girl's soul is and will be with me forever! Rest in peace, Sweetheart.

Loretta Davern Death Notice

Published in The Buffalo News on April 22 and 23, 2015

DAVERN - Loretta A. (nee Chiarmonte) April 20, 2015. Beloved wife of James; loving mother of Michael (Colleen) and Mark Davern; devoted grandmother of Molly and Michael and great-grandmother of Anthony; daughter of the late Vincent and Fannie (LaPorta) Chiarmonte; dear sister of Joseph (Judy) Chiarmonte, Frances (Steve) Trimper and Melanie Chiarmonte; also survived by nieces and nephews. Family will be present on Thursday from 4-8 PM at the PERNA, DENGLER, ROBERTS FUNERAL HOME, 1671 Maple Rd., where Prayers will be offered Friday at 8:30 AM followed by a Mass of Christian Burial celebrated from Christ the King Church at 9:30 AM. In lieu of flowers, contributions in Loretta's name may be made to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital . Online condolences offered at wwww.denglerrobertspernafuneral.com.

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Loretta Davern Retirement Tribute by Mary Marshall, 2003.

Tonight I have the pleasure to speak in honor of Lori Davern and I would like to share with you “Things You Never Knew About Lori Davern.”

Loretta Chiarmonte was born and raised on Buffalo’s West Side. At an early age, she says seven, she began cleaning the house and hasn’t stopped since. Lori was in a typical Italian family where the boys got away with murder and the girls were delegated to the home and housework.

Lori went to work at Kleinhan’s Men’s Shop during high school, wearing spike high heels, walking over from Niagara Street. She was quite the little sales girl, winning the hearts of all the young men, one in particular: Jim Davern, whom she married some forty years ago.

Two sons were born to Lori and Jim and they now have a daughter-in-law and two grandchildren!

Lori’s Ken-Ton career began in 1976 at Franklin Elementary school where she worked as a cafeteria monitor. She told me she lost her hearing in that cafeteria. Loretta, I hope you have a good ear tonight! Lori also worked somewhere as an early childhood—just couldn’t pry it out of her!

Lori started at Kenmore Middle School in 1982 as a classroom aid, and then to her home as the “ABC warden.” For the past ten years Lori has been dealing with our “choice” students. For years the room would be bursting it’s seams with our darlings who could not, or chose not, to follow classroom direction. I can’t name names, but just think back to those you sent there and then multiply it by at least 10. Those are the children she has known the best. A few were with her day in and day out—I often suggested she should adopt them, and wouldn’t they have been lucky kids!

Lori was doing Student of the Month, concert programs, sending Home Notice—all kinds of reports—all while keeping the peace in 114, no easy task.

Lori has also ran our book room, keeping track of who had what books, charging for lost books, stamping new books, etc.

Now, enough of the every day work and dedication stuff, let’s get into the real unknown about Lori Davern:

Sandy Schmidt tells me that she’s never known a person who has redecorated her house so many times! Every couple of years, she takes out a wall, changes her house around, and repaints all the walls. Since I’ve known her the bathtub has been replaced a couple of times! She has been known to hold contractors hostage!

Lori Davern has never been a sleeper. For years she exists on very little sleep. She’d put her family to bed and stay up for hours doing projects. She’s come to work after being up until 2 or 3am doing her crafts!

Lori is an artist. She loves to paint. We thank you Lori for the many decorations our building has because of you. Florence always knew whom to call on for ambiance.

Lori worked tirelessly on Career Day receptions, the gingerbread house and train for the holidays, the huge ice cream cones for the ice cream social, and who could forget SpongeBob SquarePants? She is, as a matter of fact, a Donna Dewberry certified instructor. She hopefully will begin to teach when she retires.

Aside from her family and Kenmore Middle School, one of Lori’s greatest loves is QVC. Now Jim Davern, cover your ears. I must tell you all, Lori Davern is a QVC junkie! I think she has bought every possible appliance QVC has to offer. She keeps a knitting machine under her living room sofa, and has a room with a monogramming machine. Only recently she bought a kiln. Capital One Credit Card Company personally called to thank her for keeping the company afloat this year! No monsters chasing Mrs. Davern!

QVC always asks her to speak on air when she orders—of course she never does. It’s remarkable, when she calls, they call her by name: “Loretta! What do you need today?”

Lori is a true shopper. When she adopted a family at Christmastime, she told me she loved buying all the children things and wanted to carry it on throughout the year.

She knows just where to get a bargain. In fact, there’s not a dollar store within a 10 mile radius that Lori hasn’t been in!

There are tons of things I kid Lori about. She keeps so much to herself that when she let’s us know just a little thing, I cant resist!

Lori will leave some pretty big size five and a half shoes to fill. She may be short in stature, but Lori has a giant heart. Thank you Lori for all the years that you’ve given to this district, to this school, to ABC, and to the children. Remember your KMS family.

Here’s to you Lori and Jim. May the retirement years ahead be sunny ones, may they continue to be healthy ones, and remember: The best is yet to be!

K.M.S. Newsarticle

Three Letters For You: A.B.C.

By Joelle Silver. Have you been in trouble lately? Well then you know exactly what I mean. What does A.B.C. stand for? the exact definition is Alternative Behavior Classroom. In other words a place where students go to get away from troublesome things. This alternative classroom has been in use for several years. Mrs. Davern is the person working in A.B.C. all morning and afternoon. From experience, her opinion is that this alternative room has greatly helped prevent school problems. The purpose generally is to remove the student from a situation that could become more serious. There are basically two main reasons kids go down to A.B.C. One big reason is classroom problems such as disruptive behavior. Some other reasons are cafeteria problems or even missed assignments. Many have asked what do kids do in A.B.C? Well according to Mrs. Davern all they do is work, work, work. Book work is usually assigned but sometimes there are exceptions. The two basic rules which are strongly enforced are no talking without permission and no walking around without permission. Most of the time kids entering must have a pass. About 12 to 15 kids go to the room daily, and they can tell you it's not fun! So stay out of trouble and stay out of A.B.C!!

Lori's Message to me

Dear Jim,

Safely Home

I am home in heaven dear ones; Oh so happy and so bright. There is perfect joy and beauty in this everlasting light. All the pain and grief is over; every restless tossing past; I am now at peace forever, safety home in heaven at last. Try to look beyond earth's shadow, pray to trust our Father's will. There is work still waiting for you, so you must not idly stand; do it now while life remaineth, you shall rest in Jesus land. When that work is all completed, He will gently call you home; Oh, the rapture of that meeting. Oh, the joy to see you come!

Your Loving wife, Lori

My Message To Her

Dear Lori,

Now that you have been gone for almost two years, I would like to share with the readers of your biography why I continue to be grateful to you. Thank you for giving me concrete evidence that you continue to be with me in spirit. First, involves me dropping pills on the floor & not finding them right away, only to find them a day later. Second involves white butterflies. Flying around me each and every time I tend to the flower Garden you loved so much. Third, involves finding on the floor, a never before seen, small chain with the letter P attached to it. I found it the day after I spent an extra hour on our special nightly prayer. Not that I needed to see this evidence to know that your spirit is always with me, but I am grateful for it. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of taking care of you while you were sick. In retrospect, I consider it The Single most important and rewarding accomplishment of my life. Thank you for the enlightened perspective I now have which greatly helps me in my grief. If I had the ability to bring you back to life with me, healthy, I wouldn't do it. You're in a much better place and that is in heaven and I would consider it a selfish act on my part to bring you back. Thank you for being my intermediator with the Lord. There have been a number of my requests to Him that have been fulfilled & I know you have a much greater influence with Him than I could ever have. Thank you for guiding Mike, Mark and me in all aspects of our new life. You know what a big Gap there is in our lives and you also know that we're making the best of it. We have grown closer together and my grief has been lightened because of it. Finally, thank you for being my partner for all those years in creating such a loving and supportive family for me. Without them that gap in my life would be unbearable. I love you with all my heart.

Yours forever, Jim