David Kucharski, a longtime resident of Washington, DC, passed away on July 9, 2023 at the NIH Clinical Center in Bethesda, MD, with his husband Eric Martz by his side. David's passing marked the conclusion of a twelve-year battle with hairy-cell leukemia, which he fought with inexhaustible perseverance and grace. Over the course of his illness, David received a number of experimental treatments and participated in several clinical trials. Though ultimately ineffective from a treatment standpoint, his medical journey contributed significantly to the scientific understanding of hairy-cell leukemia. David was born in Brookfield, WI (a suburb of Milwaukee) on February 9,1965, to Robert and Caroline (nee Garlock) Kucharski. David was the third of four children, preceded by Kathryn and Michael, and followed by Mark. In 1974, when David was nine, the family relocated to Cedar Rapids, IA, where in 1983 he graduated from high school (Washington High School). After high school, David attended the University of Iowa (Iowa City), graduating with a B.A. in English in 1987. In college David also discovered a talent for writing, which led him to stay at the University of Iowa to complete a graduate degree in non-fiction writing (MFA, 1989).
In the young adult years that followed, David worked as a professional writer for an educational marketing business and then for the University of Iowa Foundation. At the same time, David began to feel a spiritual calling. Raised in the Roman Catholic tradition, David decided to pursue the priesthood. In 1996 David entered a pre-seminary program at Loras College in Dubuque, IA. On completion in 1998, David was admitted to the highly selective seminary at Catholic University in Washington, DC. David studied at the Catholic University seminary for two years (1998-2000), during which time he awakened to his gay identity. A July 21, 2002, article in the Washington Post (Hanna Rosin) about the Catholic Church featured David's struggle to reconcile matters of faith, doctrine, and sexuality while training for the priesthood. For a number of reasons, David decided to leave the seminary. This was a time of great uncertainty for David, but he drew on his background in professional writing, and found work as a writer for the Whitman-Walker Clinic of Washington, DC (2000-2002).
In this transition period, David enjoyed living in the Dupont Circle neighborhood, building a network of friends, and becoming a member of St. Thomas Episcopal Church of Dupont Circle. However, David still felt a call to help others, and he decided to pursue a career in mental health. In 2002 David entered the Catholic University School of Social Work and graduated with a M.S.W. in 2004. While in the social work program, David completed internships at Green Door (a community mental health agency in Washington, DC) and the Psychiatric Institute of Washington (Lambda Center). After graduation in 2004, David began his new career as a mental health case manager for Community Connections. It was here that David met his future husband, Eric Martz. What began as a friendship between coworkers eventually grew into a romance, and in 2010 they married. In 2006, David transitioned to a psychotherapy position at Community Connections. In 2017, David left Community Connections to join an independent psychotherapy practice, Counseling at Dupont, where he continued to see clients until 2019, at which time his illness required an indefinite leave of absence.
David had a wide range of interests and pastimes, but particularly gravitated to nostalgia, vintage, and popular culture . As a teenager, David developed an interest in vintage comic books. Particular favorites were Justice League of America (DC Comics)and Betty & Veronica (Archie comics). As part of his undergraduate studies, David particularly appreciated 20th Century American writers, including the novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald and the playwrights Eugene O'Neill and William Inge. Furthermore, a film studies course in college sparked a lifelong interest in the classic films from the Golden Age of American cinema (mid-1920s - mid-1960s). David particularly enjoyed the movie musicals of the period (in particular the film versions of Rodgers & Hammerstein's great works such as Oklahoma), but his interests spanned a wide range of genres, including the stylized melodramas and screwball comedies of the silver screen era. Favorite actors included Doris Day and Jennifer Jones. Over the years David accumulated an extensive collection of classic Hollywood musicals (primarily on video, but in later years adding titles on DVD), and curling up on the couch with Eric to watch one was a beloved pastime.
David led a modest lifestyle, but on special occasions he loved to eat out. In particular he was an aficionado of the traditional fare of the American steakhouse, with the Capital Grille as a favorite restaurant to celebrate anniversaries and Valentine's Day with Eric. He also loved Italian food, and Buca di Beppo was a preferred venue for birthday meals with friends. David was also a lover of live musical theatre. When time and funds allowed, David loved to take short trips to New York City for a Broadway show. Even after changing careers from writing to counseling, David continued to write for pleasure. In 2015 David completed the self-published "A Proud Love," a novella about a gay romance spanning from WWII to Stonewall. Copies of the novella circulated among family and friends, and then during the dark days of the pandemic shutdown, David used some of the down time to revise the original. David made a point of giving the lovers of the story a happy ending. He felt this particularly important considering what he viewed as the unfairly frequent portrayal of LGBT literary characters as tragic figures. In addition to a gift for written expression, David had an uncommon facility for conversation of all kinds. David could strike up a pleasant conversation with anyone and was known for his gentle Midwestern sense of humor and astutely observant commentary. Most of all, however, David was a gifted listener, and he put this talent to effective use with all the people he encountered on life’s journey--clients, family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers.
David is survived by his husband Eric Martz, his father and stepmother Robert and Trudy (Brookfield, WI), his sister Kathryn (New York, NY), and his brother and sister-in-law Michael and Kelle (Cedar Rapids, IA), as well as numerous nieces and nephews. David was predeceased by his younger brother Mark, who died of a sudden illness as a teenager, and his mother Caroline, who passed away in 2010. In lieu of flowers, David wished for donations to the Southern Poverty Law Center.
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