Barbara Ruth Deshefy

MARCH 24, 1927 -- SEPTEMBER 5, 2024

Uncasville, CT -- Barbara Ruth Deshefy, 97, passed away peacefully during sleep on Thursday. Born in Yonkers, New York, the only child of the late William Retoske (city fireman) and Hermina (Sekora) Retoske, Barbara was married for 65 years to the late Eugene E. Deshefy. She was a skilled artist and wonderful mother to four children, grandmother to six, and role model to six great-grandchildren.

Raised during the Depression by caring parents, and doting aunts and uncles, who daily gathered for coffee klatches, Barbara honed artistic and cooking talents as a child. After graduating Roosevelt High School in Yonkers, she completed studies at the Traphagen School of Fashion Art in New York City, and worked for several years on Vogue Pattern Books with Condé Nast Publications, occasionally modeling for pattern sketches herself. After marrying in 1951, she lived a year in Hampton, Virginia, where “Gene” was stationed in the Air Force, after which the newlyweds moved to eastern Connecticut, residing in Noank, Norwich and Uncasville.

Barbara made holidays and birthdays especially joyous with her family meals, baking and elf-like enthusiasm for meticulously decorated Christmas trees. Working part-time at Reid and Hughes department store (Norwich) and St. Bernard’s High School (Montville), she was committed to raising a family, oil painting, crocheting, ceramics, and community service. Along with her parents, she was an active member of the Mohegan Volunteer Fire Company (serving twice as its Women’s Auxiliary president) and enjoyed raising three Vizsla dogs and reading “harlequin novels.” In addition to writing and self-publishing a book about her fondest childhood memories, Barbara’s many paintings and ceramics remain family heirlooms.

Barbara is survived by children: Scott Deshefy and wife Nancy, Drew Deshefy (predeceased) and wife Joan, Dawn Deshefy, Diane Nichols and husband George. Grandchildren: Jodi, Matthew, Alea, Sawyer, Colt and Weston. Great-grandchildren: Drew, Bree, Paityn, Lily, Ivy and Mathew-Christopher.

A brief calling period will be held at the Montville Funeral Home of Church and Allen on Thursday, September 12, 2024 from 9:30-10:30 am, before proceeding to an 11 am Mass of Christian Burial at

St. John’s Church, 22 Maple Ave., Uncasville. Burial will follow in St. Patrick’s Cemetery (Montville).

To leave a message of condolence for the Deshefy family, please visit www.montvillefuneralhome.com.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Barbara’s memory may be made to the CT Humane Society or other animal welfare causes.

The Deshefy family is grateful to Hartford Healthcare at Home (including Hospice Care), Careforth, CT Community Care, Care Co Homehealth, Dr. Hanna Kackielo and staff, and the Montville Senior Center for years of compassionate support and professional medical assistance, thereby enabled Barbara’s long-term care at home.

Thank you, Mom, for your self-sacrifices and dedication to family. We all love you.