Lois Andrea Viggiano

When Andrea was four years old, she learned to read. With a deep-seated inquisitive mind and most curious nature, bright young Andrea’s world was opened.

Andrea came from a family of teachers. She majored in English in college, though she did not teach right away. When she was 29, Andrea was having fun, happy and confident in herself. She was working in sales -- one of the few women in the business. One night, she went to her friends’ Phyllis and Rick’s house for dinner. That evening, she met their friend Lou.

Being himself, Louie quickly charmed Andrea with his warmth, humor, and easy display of love for his sweet five-year-old son, Weegee. Andrea and Lou were married eight months later. And three years after in 1980, Andrea and Lou gave birth to twin daughters, Kate and Amanda.

In her late 30’s, Andrea decided that it was time to shift to a vocation that fed her soul -- teaching. After starting her career at Toms River High School North teaching English and Journalism, she moved to High School South, home of the Indians. As Advisor of the school newspaper, her Chieftain room became a haven of safety, acceptance, and growth. In addition, Andrea acted as the advisor for the founding of a Feminist Club, and then years later, the founding of a LGBTQ+ club. Many of her students became an extension of her family. She retired from HS South after 24 years.

Even after she retired, Andrea sought interesting conversations and opportunities to explore new ideas, to write, and to expand. Andrea faced hardships that could break anyone’s heart -- yet she faced them as she did everything else: with acceptance, grace, and grit. In 2014 her son Weegee died. Soon after she was diagnosed with a terminal lung disease and then three bouts of cancer. And yet -- she loved and grew and expanded and cherished.

Andrea went into the hospital with pneumonia on Sunday, October 25th and the family realized after a few days that she was declining. Andrea chose to begin her transition when she was ready, and when she did, she was surrounded by love the whole way.

Andrea is survived by her beloved husband Lou “Chiefie”, twin daughters Kate Viggiano Janich and Amanda Viggiano Cohen; sons-in-law Miles Janich and Jeremy Cohen; grandchildren Finn and Tessa Janich, and Grey and Wes Cohen; her “Tiffy” and family; sisters Colette and Natalie, brother Tom; and sisters-in-spirit Jean and Melva.

“Being together, I feel like everything is as it should be...I’ll never be ready to leave you…I grieve it. And then I just, -- I remember the love. It always, always helps me.”

Andrea shared these words on November 1st.

While the loss of Andrea will certainly lessen the beauty of this world, there is no doubt that she has planted the seeds of love, gratitude, and wonder in all of us. Together, as we grieve, we will remember Andrea. We will remember the love.

Candlelight Vigil for Andrea Viggiano

Join us In-person or Virtually on Saturday, November 21st. Ceremony will begin at approximately 4:20/4:25.

In-person details: Toms River High School South, Detwiler Stadium (HS South Football Field), 55 Hyers St. Toms River, NJ 08753. Please arrive by about 4 pm, as the ceremony will begin at approximately 4:15/4:20 pm. Social distancing and masks are required.

Virtual details: For those of you who can not attend in person, whether it's because you live far or are being extra cautious, we now have a virtual option to join the vigil.

If you will join virtually, please RSVP by going to the Eventbrite link below. Note: You need to RSVP just once even if you have several people joining the Zoom along with you at home. Zoom Details are in the Eventbrite and will be emailed once you register. Our coordinator will be happy to assist you if you need help.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/lois-andrea-viggiano-virtual-candlelight-vigil-tickets-129814583915

Please make sure to dial into the Zoom between 3:45 and 4:15.

In lieu of flowers, please send donations on behalf of Andrea Clendining Viggiano to the Ms. Foundation for Women. Founded by Gloria Steinem, one of Andrea’s heros, the mission of the Ms. Foundation for Women is to build women’s collective power in the U.S. to advance equity and justice for all.

A Life Remembered

Andrea lived a rich and beautiful life that affected so many. If you would like to read more about her, please see this longer version of her story. Unless otherwise noted, the quotes are directly from Andrea.

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“My childhood -- the early years -- has an aura to it, a halo of dust motes in golden sunlight -- perhaps the first time I remember my own awareness.”

On a Tuesday, the 17th of June 1947, Andrea was named Lois to her chagrin -- but thankfully called by her middle name starting the day she was born. She grew up in Haddon Township, NJ with her big sister Constance (Connie), who was her “best friend, worst enemy, dearest sharer of life.” When Andrea was six, her baby brother Mark was born: “He was so beautiful. We dressed him and walked him; I remember reading to him -- he always caught me when I tried to skip pages.”

When Andrea was four years old, Connie taught Andrea to read. With a deep-seated inquisitive mind and most curious nature, bright young Andrea’s world was opened. Through her life, Andrea wondered. She wondered about the how’s, the why’s. She noticed the smallest of shifts and connections and often asked why things were so, helping open the minds of anyone along her conversation path.

And then -- she would write about her wonder. Dozens, no, hundreds of journals are stored in her sunroom -- filled with her thoughts and journeys from school-age days to her last days in the hospital. Her writing also transcended into beautiful creative stories, poems, and other breathtaking writings. Her words, aloud or written, had a power and elegance rarely seen.

Andrea came from a family of teachers. She majored in English in college, though she did not teach right away. She spent her twenties exploring, writing, growing, learning. She had a first marriage that broke her heart at 25 but made her stronger. Some of her best memories were of living in New York City in her late twenties, waiting tables, spending time with friends who matched her spirit, and finding her first black cat, Sammy. When she was 29, Andrea was having fun, happy and confident in herself. She was working in sales -- one of the few women in the business. One night, she went to her friends’ Phyllis and Rick’s house for dinner. And that evening, she met their friend Louie.

“He was the most wonderful thing I’d been around in a long time. I think we fell in love that night. There was such a recognition -- everything we found out about each other seemed both, “‘Wow!’” and “‘Of course!’”

Being himself, Louie quickly charmed Andrea with his warmth, humor, and easy display of love for his sweet five-year-old son, Weegee. When Andrea invited Phyllis and Rick to her apartment for dinner, she ended up inviting him too. Then soon, Louie asked Andrea to his own house for dinner, where they spent time with Weegee, ate pizza, watched TV and talked and laughed. They were married eight months later. And three years after in 1980, Andrea and Lou gave birth to twin daughters, Kate and Amanda.

“My children, even the thought of them -- evoke, constantly and reliably, the most spontaneous tears of joy - excitement, laughter, chagrin, wonder -- and gratitude.”

Over the next decades, Andrea spent time as a mother, she wrote, and worked. She raised her children to be compassionate, to offer genuine compliments, and to use and accept humor as a salve. She taught them to notice and be grateful for the little things -- the colors of a peach, the smell of lilacs, a beautiful song, the kindness of a stranger.

As the world changed around her -- big business grew bigger and the hearts of companies became smaller, she decided that it was time to shift to a vocation that fed her soul -- teaching.

“When I decided to leave business and teach instead...I left because I wanted to do a job I thought was important. I knew that teaching involves more than the subject matter - it involves the transmission of values, a view of the world that in however small a way will shape the future. I love the world and life so much - it was my hope that I could spark and strengthen that love in others, perpetrating a vision of life that is creative and optimistic, loving and purposeful. You make me feel that my hope is a reality, and I do thank you, with all my heart, for allowing my vision to matter in your lives."

Starting as a substitute, Andrea soon got a job at Toms River High School North teaching English. She knew she found her calling. After a few years at North, she moved to High School South, home of the Indians, and stayed there from 1989 to 2013, when she retired.

Andrea taught all different levels of English and Journalism during her time with South. As advisor for the school newspaper, The Chieftain, Andrea encouraged, nurtured and respected each writer’s artistic expression, personal opinions, and stood by them even in cases of criticism and calls for censorship. Several times she made a guest teacher appearance on stage, whether it was singing a solo of “Silent Night” with her beautiful singing voice, or lip-syncing and dancing to “Walk It Out.” The students went wild.

Students also loved to gift Andrea's desk with toys, especially rubber duckies. Even after retirement, Andrea kept the small gifts, the vast amount of duckies, as a way of continuing to treasure her students. Andrea’s favorite lessons were those of Thoreau and Emerson, and she loved watching understanding click in her students’ brains.

But more than anything, Andrea cherished her kids. She saw them at their core and liked who they were. She showed her students humor, treated them with respect, and believed in them. She was real.

More than a few times, Andrea took students under her wing when they needed strength and love. Her Chieftain room became a haven of safety, acceptance, and growth. Several former students shared that she saved their lives. And now -- many of these students are thriving adults, making the world better around them. Those students became an extension of her family.

“‘The force that through the green fuse drives the flower.’ Just that image -- I am meant not to stand out, as if I were the only flower, but to flower completely, as the fullest version of my uniqueness. Which leaf completes the tree? Is there a tipping point, or is each one replaceable? I think each one adds to the richness. So maybe we wouldn’t notice an absence as such, but with each loss the beauty thins.”

Not a fan of surface-level conversations, Andrea would find the people who didn’t shy away from complexity. Even after she retired, Andrea sought interesting conversations and opportunities to explore new ideas and expand. She joined a book club full of her teacher friends that brought her so much joy and fulfillment -- talking about books and life and supporting each other through the years. She participated in a memoir writing club, where, even in the last year, she explained that to share her story, she had to tell the whole story, or else she could not tell the rest honestly. Her willingness to be open brought the group to a new level. She joined several groups focused on intention and meditation, bringing to the groups the sense of wonder and insights she carried throughout her life.

“Over the past few years if I learned anything, it was that I cannot control what happens, to me or the world. I can control how I will handle it, learning to accept it instead of resisting it...It’s just hard on the ego to realize that we don’t necessarily know best, and even if we think we do it doesn’t make any difference. Every time I stop resisting, I feel better -- optimism pops up in the form of acceptance and looking forward with interest.”

Andrea faced hardships that could break anyone’s heart -- yet she faced them as she did everything else: with acceptance, grace, and grit.

In 2014 her son Weegee died. Soon after she was diagnosed with a terminal lung disease and then three bouts of cancer. And yet -- she loved and grew and expanded and cherished.

As “Nana,” Andrea got the chance to meet and know and love her four grandchildren. She continued to be the best mom to her daughters. She spoke with her dearest ones, giving advice and always saying the right thing when needed -- and of course, sharing some of her wicked humor when the situation called for it.

Andrea loved to make Thanksgiving dinners and to yell at folks to get out of her kitchen when she cooked it. She loved her Southern Comfort Manhattans with a side of rocks on the side. She loved sitting in her sunroom, writing in her journals and watching the chipmunks and birds outside her window. She adored her cat Harry. She spent countless hours watching and cheering on Rachel Maddow, working on her writing, and making smart, thoughtful, and caring comments on the walls of her Facebook friends. She savored the nightly milkshakes made by Louie (strawberry was her favorite) and every morning cup of coffee. She never failed to see the beauty around her, pausing a conversation to point out a cloud, bird, the way the sun would shine through the trees. Always aware and cognizant of the world and its wonders.

Andrea went into the hospital with pneumonia on Sunday, October 25th and the family realized after a few days that she was declining. During her time at the hospital, Andrea shared her wishes, and she was so much herself still -- sharing her curiosity, her observations of the world, her gratitude, and even her humor.

Andrea chose to begin her transition when she was ready, and when she did, she was surrounded by love the whole way.

Andrea is survived by her beloved husband Lou “Chiefie”, twin daughters Kate Viggiano Janich and Amanda Viggiano Cohen; sons-in-law Miles Janich and Jeremy Cohen; grandchildren Finn and Tessa Janich, and Grey and Wes Cohen; her “Tiffy” and family; sisters Colette and Natalie, brother Tom; and sisters-in-spirit Jean and Melva.

“Being together, I feel like everything is as it should be...I’ll never be ready to leave you…I grieve it. And then I just, -- I remember the love. It always, always helps me.”

Andrea shared these words on November 1st.

While the loss of Andrea will certainly lessen the beauty of this world, there is no doubt that she has planted the seeds of love, gratitude, and wonder in all of us. Together, as we grieve, we will remember Andrea. We will remember the love.

Candlelight Vigil for Andrea Viggiano

Join us In-person or Virtually on Saturday, November 21st. Ceremony will begin at approximately 4:20/4:25.

In-person details: Toms River High School South, Detwiler Stadium (HS South Football Field), 55 Hyers St. Toms River, NJ 08753. Please arrive by about 4 pm, as the ceremony will begin at approximately 4:15/4:20 pm. Social distancing and masks are required.

Virtual details: For those of you who can not attend in person, whether it's because you live far or are being extra cautious, we now have a virtual option to join the vigil.

If you will join virtually, please RSVP by going to the Eventbrite link below. Note: You need to RSVP just once even if you have several people joining the Zoom along with you at home. Zoom Details are in the Eventbrite and will be emailed once you register. Our coordinator will be happy to assist you if you need help.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/lois-andrea-viggiano-virtual-candlelight-vigil-tickets-129814583915

Please make sure to dial into the Zoom between 3:45 and 4:15.

In lieu of flowers, please send donations on behalf of Andrea Clendining Viggiano to the Ms. Foundation for Women. Founded by Gloria Steinem, one of Andrea’s heros, the mission of the Ms. Foundation for Women is to build women’s collective power in the U.S. to advance equity and justice for all.