Irwin H. Lerner

Loving husband. Adoring father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. Brilliant lawyer. World traveler. Food lover. NY Giants Fan. Raconteur extraordinaire. Those are just a few of the words to describe Irwin Lerner, who died October 31 after a long, brave battle with MDS.

Irv was born in the Bronx in 1931. He spent his childhood playing stickball, cheering for the Brooklyn Dodgers, and being a reluctant babysitter for his little brother. He attended Bronx High School of Science, although at that point, given the tales he told, he was sometimes more focused on enjoying adolescent life in the City than on school.

He attended and graduated from NYU. He decided to be a lawyer and was accepted at Columbia Law School. The next four years would change his life in wonderful ways. First, on a day trip to the beach, he met Doris Radin, the love of his life and ultimately his wife of 67 years. It didn’t take them long to realize they were meant to be; they decided to get married 14 hours after meeting. Then he got drafted. Having found his true love, he had to leave her and spend 18 months at Camp Zama in Japan. He taught business law to the officers, won shooting medals, and quickly grew up to be a hardworking, focused lawyer, husband, and father, although he never lost his fun-loving side.

After being honorably discharged, he graduated from Columbia Law School with flying colors, married Doris, and embarked on his long and successful legal career. He joined IBM, where he was a “lifer,” rising through the ranks, being known for his sound judgment, his business acumen, and his understanding that a business lawyer’s role is to solve problems, not be an impediment. In his work and personal life, he lived by an unerring ethical compass - he did the right thing and never cut corners.

His daughter Pamela was born in 1957, followed by son Matthew in 1960. He was a fabulous father - generous with his time and money, thoughtful, ready, willing, and able to share good advice or a shoulder to cry on, and mostly just a ton of fun, always ready with a smile and a hug. They traveled extensively as a family, especially enjoying long driving trips to and through the American West, reveling in the natural beauty of America.

Irwin loved his children’s spouses Frank and Cherry Joy and welcomed them to the family with open arms, respected them, and quickly indoctrinated them into what it meant to be part of the Lerners – family meals, board games, spectator sports, and trips. He added them to his travel roster, treating them to memorable vacations, especially to his happiest place, Disney World, where he was just another goofy kid.

Irwin was blessed to have four grandchildren, Michael, Aaron, Robert, and Adrienne, who grew up living nearby; he heartily embraced being a grandfather. He babysat, he entertained, he formed chess clubs at their schools, he attended countless soccer, lacrosse, hockey, and baseball games, he took them to the pumpkin patch, berry picking and the National Zoo, and mostly just made them laugh. They loved their Pop-Pop. In his later years, he also got to enjoy his great-grandchild Elena, whom he bragged about as if she was his own child.

Doris and Irwin fit together like hand-in-glove and brought each other decades of joy. Even during his final illness, one of his doctors observed that he had never seen such a close couple. They made each other the best versions of themselves. After the kids left for college, they traveled extensively, to such wonderful places as Japan, Thailand, Turkey, Morocco, Italy, Greece, and others too numerous to mention. But mostly, they just lived a full and rich life together, eating out, watching sports and sitcoms, playing board games, doting on family, and enjoying the absolute certainty that they made the right choice on their fateful first date.

Irwin was preceded in death by his parents, Abe and Tauby Lerner, and his brother, Rabbi Stephen Lerner. Interment will be at Judean Memorial Gardens, Olney Maryland. Contributions may be made to the MDS Foundation (mds-foundation.org) or the Rabbi’s Fund at Temple Emunah in Lexington, Massachusetts (templeemunah.org).

Irwin will be missed by all who knew him. He was one of those rare people who could make everyone smile - with a joke, with a funny look, or with a great story. When you were with him, you felt loved and safe and happy. His family and friends thank him for his generosity, for bringing joy to their lives, for serving as an example of how to live life, and for his love. He was a good man.