Mark Andrew Lassman

Mark was born to Ernie and Kathy Lassman on May 3, 1980 in Nanaimo, British Columbia on Vancouver Island, Canada. Within hours he was taken by helicopter to the Children’s Hospital in Vancouver, as he was born without holes in the back of his nose, and thus, could not breath through his nostrils, only through his mouth. Because he could not suck on a bottle and breathe at the same time, surgery was needed quickly. His recovery period lasted about 4 months, during which time he had tubes fastened in his nose so the skin would not grow back into the holes the surgery had made. Mom had to suction out his tubes every four hours. The doctor tried a new technique on Mark, making the hole “jagged” instead of perfectly round . . . and they found that the surgery lasted better with less of a chance of growing closed which would require further surgery and we were told that the new technique is what they used on other surgeries like this. Other than breathing rather loudly, he did not have any other issues.

His first few years were spent in Parksville, on Vancouver Island, located on huge sandy beaches. In a few years his dad took an assignment to another church, in Chilliwack, BC, and Mark started grade school there. After several years, we moved to Seattle, Washington to Messiah Lutheran Church, where Mark attended Concordia Lutheran School, Eckstein Middle School and Roosevelt High School, graduating in 1998.

Mark enjoyed school and made many friends. He was involved for years in soccer (both in High School and youth league), baseball (youth league) and basketball (youth league). One fond memory of his mom’s, is driving Mark and other young men in her van to and from games. At one basketball game, Mark made 28 points in the 4th quarter, including 6 3-point shots - one of the parents took video of it and gave a copy to Mark. Mark loved to watch himself in action. We referred to that as his “15 minutes of fame”.

Mark and his friends spent many hours in our basement – playing pool, pop-a-shot and the biggest events were the Wrestling Pay-For-Views, with pizza and popcorn.

One favorite vacation was driving down to Disneyland in our van, stopping at Magic Mountain, and the LaBrea Tar Pits. Another favorite vacation was what we called our “Water Slide Tour” during which we stopped at five different water slide parks, including Lake Chelan, Kelowna, Penticton, and 2 more in Chilliwack, BC. At one of these, there were kid-sized tanks and the kids could drive around and shoot soft balls from the cannons at the other tanks.

After graduation Mark had various jobs, and then joined the US Army in 2000. He served three years, on a Patriot Missile Crew, spending 8 months in Saudi Arabia during the Gulf War era. He told us just the other day that he had “to kill some people, maybe 30” in Saudi Arabia, and we could tell it had been bothering him for years. When he returned to the States he was assigned to Fort Bliss, in El Paso, Texas. When 9/11 happened, and security was high all over the US, he was sent with a team of soldiers to “secure various sites” – he never told us where he was during that time. He was very proud of his military service.

When he was released from the Army he drove up to Seattle . . . not telling his folks when he expected to arrive. He knew where his mom worked, and waited until he saw her leave her office, and then got on the elevator and surprised her! The crowded elevator laughed and clapped at the surprise.

Mark began working in banking after the service, and even without a college degree quickly advanced, working at a variety of banks over the years as either as a teller, an Assistant Manager or a Manager. At one bank he was hired as a teller, and within 2 weeks was promoted to Manager.

Mark had good people skills and truly enjoyed being around people. He had a ready smile, a great laugh, and a big heart. We’ve heard stories of him giving the coat off his back to a homeless man, and even had a homeless man living with him for 6 months. Mark mourned when that man moved out and shortly thereafter the man died. We used to say that Mark could walk into a room and not know anyone, and leave a short while later with several new friends.

He was very proud that he was able to purchase a condo in the Lake City area using his VA benefits, and liked knowing that he “owned it.” Shortly after he bought the condo, he got a cat, and named her “Dini.” Those who knew Mark in High School may remember he called himself “LassDini” during those years. Dini was a great companion for him and he spoiled her terribly. Dini has a new home now, with a friend of Mark’s parents, and they will be seeing Dini every so often.

Mark may have seemed happy all the time, but he also had a lot of problems that some folks might not have known about. When he processed out of the Army, he was diagnosed with Psoriasis, which required annual TB tests, and twice-weekly injections of Enbrel. His case was so bad that he was evaluated at 80% disability. When the psoriasis got bad, his joints ached, and he would have to spread cream on the blistered patches, and wrap himself in saran wrap. He also became an alcoholic and went through 2 different treatment programs within 2 years. He was scheduled to go to a third program but did not attend. For a while he was on anti-depression medication, but it affected him badly and he stopped taking it. He was able to get connected to a counselor who seemed to be helping him, but that didn’t last very long, as she was re-assigned. In the VA system, the staff turnover is so great, that people like Mark are abandoned when a staff member leaves.

Many people have told us that they tried to help Mark out of his depressions and we thank every one of you who made that attempt. At the end, the “dark side” of life just got too much for him. A lot of people commit suicide, but ex-military seem to have a very high percentage that do. Mark knew many people who had committed suicide, and now he is one of them.

We take comfort in knowing that Mark was baptized as an infant, and had catechism instruction about God’s love in Jesus. We know that our gracious God knew everything about Mark, even more than we did, and certainly loved him more than we did, giving his Son, Jesus, for Mark’s sins. Just a few days before his death Mark told his dad that even though he hadn’t gone to church for a while, he still believed in Jesus. And we believe his faith was demonstrated by his acts of kindness to others. It is not the strength of a person’s faith that saves, but the presence of faith itself as God says in Isaiah 42:3, “A bruised reed He will not break and a faintly burning wick he will not quench.” This is our hope and comfort that we will see Mark on the day of the resurrection to enter eternal life together in a new heaven and a new earth where sin and death are no more.

Mark is survived by his parents, Ernie and Kathy Lassman, and his older brother Aaron.

In closing, we’d like to encourage anyone who feels despair, to seek out help. Learn the Suicide Hot Line number by heart, and use it or share it as needed. It is 800-273-TALK (8255), or dial 988.

Two quotes which we think apply to Mark:

“The best way to help yourself is to put your arms around someone who needs it more than you do.”

“Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” Quote from the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” and clearly Mark had lots of friends.