Elizabeth Valerie Otto

Her name was Elizabeth, but she was “Betty” to everyone who knew her. She wore many hats: gardener, dancer, administrative assistant, vacation planner, world traveler, fierce Catholic, mom, aunt, grandma, friend…she was so many things to so many people. But to each of us she was a warm smile, a helping hand, a cheerleader, a counselor, a generous, loving heart.

Elizabeth Valeria Robinson was born in San Bernardino, CA on April 12, 1927 to Arthur William Robinson and Mary Marcella Puchalski, the third of 3 daughters. Named after her grandmother, she dropped the “a” and used Valerie. Her youngest grandchild is in turn named after her.

In 1920 Arthur (better known as Robbie) and Mary jumped into a model T Ford, and left their home in Grand Rapids, Michigan to start a new life in California. The trip took weeks, and they camped all the way. They settled in San Bernardino, where Robbie got a job in his field as a newspaper Linotype operator. He built their little house on H Street and the family called it “The Wind Blew Inn.” That is where Elizabeth spent the first years of her life.

Later realizing they were poor, Betty never knew it growing up. Each Christmas her mother would make a new dress for every one of her dolls. On Christmas morning they would be lined up under the tree in their new outfits, and she felt like the richest girl in town.

In the mid 1930s, during the height of the Great Depression, Robbie and Mary moved their family to Los Angeles, where Arthur got a job with the Evening Herald Newspaper. They bought a small house near Crenshaw and Slauson, and Betty started school at St. John the Evangelist Elementary. Robbie, in addition to being an amazing carpenter who fixed all the children’s toys on their street, was a prolific gardener. His rose garden was famous. Betty inherited his Rose notebook, which lists his collection of 87 distinct roses. His shy youngest daughter inherited his green thumb.

Betty attended St. Mary’s Academy High School in Los Angeles, and then Business School, where she became an exceptional stenographer. She was fast, famously fast! Her shorthand skills served her well, as she held the post of Secretary for numerous organizations both professional and social over the next seven decades.

A lover of horses, Betty rode extensively when she was young. She also played piano, danced like a dream, and was an accomplished singer. During the 50s there were several little recording studios around LA where you could pay to record yourself on vinyl. A disc recorded by Betty reveals she sounded just like Jane Powell! She also bowled in style with her own ball and shoes, even enjoyed skiing.

Betty blossomed after high school, becoming active in several clubs and attending popular Catholic Singles dances at the many parishes in the area. But it was at the Catholic Kolping Society that she found her niche, making friends that she would keep for the rest of her life. Every weekend she would go out dancing; she loved to jitterbug and was a sought after partner. There are countless photos of dances, ski trips, swim parties, golf excursions, and Betty was at the center of it all. She also received quite a few marriage proposals, some of whom her mother lamented had been very good prospects.

Mary and Robbie lost their second daughter shortly after birth. But Betty idolized her oldest sister Mary Ann, who called herself Maizie. The sisters remained close throughout their lives. Indeed, for a brief time, Maizie’s daughters Sandra and Cheryl lived with Robbie, Mary and Betty, and they became like little sisters to Betty, who took them on vacations and days trips all over Southern California.

She loved fashion, and her mother was her seamstress. Mary made her daughter beautiful cocktail dresses, each one different than the last. As photos of this time in her life show, Betty was known for her style, and the fact that she never seemed to wear the same dress more than once. Her secret weapon was her mom, who would change a detail before the next dance so that the dress always looked new.

Betty also built herself a successful business career. Her very first job was for Farmer’s Insurance, where she quickly climbed to become Office Manager. She was so highly thought of that eventually she was sent out to various cities for several months at a time to help their teams open brand new offices throughout the state.

But by the mid 1950s Betty was looking for a new challenge. She later told her daughter that she had considered working for a film company in the bright lights of Hollywood, and won herself a job offer. But the salary was a fraction of what she was already making; the Personnel officer told her that girls would accept very low salaries in order to work around the stars. Not impressed by this, she abandoned that idea and took up an even bigger adventure!

She quit her job (she said her boss cried), and moved to Hawaii! In a day when long distance travel was expensive and rare, young single girls just didn’t do that! But Betty found herself a job, took an apartment with her friends in Honolulu, and had a thrilling time. When she decided she was ready to return home, she took on yet another adventure - she purchased a red and white 1955 Ford Fairlane convertible. She loved that car, as did her father, and later her husband. Although she eventually gave it up for a more practical car after her children were born, they all wish that she still owned it!

Back in L.A., Betty went to work at what would eventually become TRW. Again, she quickly became executive secretary to the Controller. One day her boss came around with a new hire, a Finance Officer named Frank Otto. After being introduced, Betty remembered her first impression was that he was good-looking but “full of himself.” But when the girls at work later told her “he was Catholic” and a really good catch, she listened.

It took Frank a good six months to ask her out. Their first date was “Damn Yankees” at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, and that began their tradition of seeing live musicals whenever possible. For years afterward, they had season tickets at the Pavilion, eventually taking their own children with them and instilling in them their love of musical theatre.

Frank and Betty dated in secret for over six months because of company rules against fraternization. But Frank had been long been planning a trip through the Far East. He had joined the army when he was only 17, and had served in the Pacific Islands. So this time, he was going to see that part of the world properly – Singapore, Japan, Hong Kong. Betty was hurt that he would be leaving for a solid month. Maybe Frank was not as sure about them as she had thought!

And then, the night before he departed, Frank arrived at her front door with a ring, and proposed! Of course, she said yes, and he wrote her a letter almost every day of his trip, telling her about his travels, and how much he missed her. She kept those love letters for the rest of her life.

They were married on the 24th of May, 1958, at Betty’s parish, St. John the Evangelist Church. Their reception was in Robbie’s marvelous rose garden. Then they headed up the California Coast on their honeymoon in that fabulous convertible.

They moved into a little apartment in Inglewood. Their first child, Lisa, was born the following year, and Michael a year after that.

Robbie took sick, and passed away in 1960. His wife Mary was inconsolable. As Betty tried to care for her mother, Frank made a gesture that guaranteed him sainthood in Heaven – he and his new bride asked her mother to come live with them. And from that moment, Mary lived with her daughter until Mary’s death 32 years later.

To fit their growing family, they bought their first house, in Canoga Park, where Kathy was born, and Dan joined them 2 years later. Hopefully Frank ‘s long daily commute to Beverly Hills was made worthwhile by the joy on his family’s face when he arrived home in the evening!

Betty loved her first house, with its two-sided fireplace, and white carpet in the living room. This was the adults’-only room - the kids were allowed in for a few very special occasions like Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, just in time to witness momma hollering at Santa Claus for coming down the chimney and tracking black ash all over her lovely carpets.

In her new home, for the first time Betty began to develop her own gardening skills, planting a large tiered rose garden on the side of the house that was the talk of the neighborhood. Her children recall that one of their first family chores was to carefully water the roses, filling each well while trying to evade those thorns.

At first, Betty and Frank and their family drove miles to church each Sunday. But a new parish, St John Eudes, was being planned, and Betty and Frank wanted to be a part of it. They jumped in together, head first, and eventually Betty became the president of the Ladies Council, and Frank president of the Men’s Council. The parish had no school, but the couple rallied the new families, and money was raised to build a small school with only four classrooms, grades 1-4. Each year saw new fundraisers and a single new classroom built. Many mornings the children watched their parents address the congregation from the pulpit, urging the parish to support the school, to build it. It got built, and the three oldest Otto kids graduated from eighth grade there.

Betty and Frank bought a vacant lot in Chatsworth, close to the church and began to build their dream home. They moved their family in in 1968. Betty loved her white brick ranch home. She and her family had several wonderful years there. There was a badminton court (though none of the Ottos ever really learned to play), and fencing lessons across the street from an eccentric Olympic champion who took the kids under his wing. There were piano lessons, guitar lessons, even banjo lessons for the youngest son. And there was a lot of laughter (but did Betty realize the kids often faked eating their “healthy” vegetables by dumping them into her potted plant in the kitchen?).

Betty and Frank shared their love for travel with their children – via a dark green station wagon. Several times a year they would pack all the kids in, with Grandma in the back seat and her folding rocker strapped to the top of the car, and take off for the annual Newport Beach vacation, or trips to one of the National Parks, driving the length of California to see the sights. Betty’s purse was like Mary Poppins’ bag, bottomless – why, it had apples in it, and a paring knife, and bandages, and the kitchen sink – she thought of everything. (On much later trips with her kids, Betty had to abandon the knife, when TSA stopped her at security and wouldn’t let her take it on board.)

Who says being a housewife is easy? Betty was that sort of superb mom that put all others to shame – getting up at 4 in the morning to drive her eldest son to the Ventura County line so he could surf in the mornings before school – an hour each way, at least once a week. With Frank, she made it to every baseball game the boys played, every play, every piano recital. And over dinner, they made sure that each child told about their day, and asked their opinions, and shared their profound Catholic faith.

But economic trouble was on the horizon, and with the deep recession of the 1970s, Frank decided to take a job in San Diego as the Financial Administrator for a Law School. They sold their dream home, and found another in St. Therese’s parish, where they settled in, and enrolled the kids into a new high school – except for Lisa, who was now proudly attending Loyola Marymount, her father’s alma mater.

Betty was incredibly supportive of her husband’s decision, but it was heart-wrenching to leave their home and the parish they had helped to build. She missed Chatsworth and wondered if she would ever have such good friends again. But she decided to go back to work, and soon was offered a job as executive secretary to one of the administrators of Mercy Hospital. She grew to love her boss, Bob Brown, and her years at Mercy were wonderful. She made close friends at Mercy, some whom she kept for the rest of her life.

Frank had a few very successful years at the law school, but the stress brought on a major heart attack. He recovered, and turned the finances of the school around, but misfortune struck again when the board of directors decided to sell the school, and he was once again out of work. Frank started his own consulting company, which gradually became quite successful.

But on June 14, 1979, at the age of 54, Frank had another massive heart attack in the night, and passed away at home.

Betty was utterly devastated. But as she lived through the worst days of her life, she somehow took on the burden and made sure that her children were all right. She made Lisa finish college at Loyola. While working a full time job, she got her children through high school, into college, and eventually several of them even studied abroad or at Ivy League schools in the east. Later on, she couldn’t quite say how she did it, only that she did what she had to. Her children today think back on that time, and remember with wonder how she kept them all together, all moving forward.

Her faith was a rock that she leaned upon. The Bible study group that she and Frank had made so many friends in, became an important part of her life, both spiritually and socially. And she continued to enjoy her extended family. After her sister passed away far too early, she became that much closer to her nieces’ families. She ensured that her children remained as close as possible to Frank’s sisters and brother, and their cousins. Family remained, for Betty, the single most important aspect of her life.

Although her career at Mercy Hospital held a special place in her heart, after fifteen years, Betty finally decided it was time for her to retire. She went out with a bang, as her children picked her up and carried her away in a white stretch limousine, waving to her friends.

But as soon as she found more time in her days, she started to fill them up – with new friends, new classes and new purpose. She eagerly signed up for the Master Gardeners training course at UCSD. She joined the St. Vincent De Paul Ladies Guild, inspired by the work of Father Joe Carroll, where she was Secretary for several years, writing out the minutes and keeping all of the members in touch with each other.

As the youngest three children moved away and got married, they each settled in North County. Finally, Betty decided that the house she and Frank had bought was too large for just one person. She also wanted to be closer to her children and the grandchildren that were beginning to arrive. So despite her sorrow at leaving her beloved St. Therese Parish community, she moved to a smaller house in Carmel Mountain.

Betty began attending church at St. Gregory The Great with her children, and joined a few bible study groups. But she found her calling when, one day, she read a small notice in the parish bulletin asking for volunteers to help trim the roses. She answered the ad, and met with Pastor Father Nicholas Clavin. She always said that by the time she walked out of the room, he had convinced her to start a whole Gardening Ministry. And she loved it. Now she was indulging in her passion, and it was for God! What could be better?

Her elder years gave her the opportunity to indulge in the things she most loved. Her family, and her grandchildren in particular, were such a joy to her. She attended their games, plays, and school events just as she had a generation before for their parents. She loved a glass of wine in the evening, a good book, whether CS Lewis or a new mystery novel, dinners out, a walk along the beach, watching Masterpiece Theatre with her kids, working in her garden. Betty found God in the garden, and peace, and creativity. It was her special world, one that she excelled in. She had a true gift.

She could still dance until her very last years. At her son’s wedding in her backyard, she and her old dance partner and friend kicked up their heels to a swing tune and danced her children into the ground. Around the house, she would grab a child with a big grin, and break into a fast jitterbug step, as if to prove she still had it.

And she travelled. Where once she had travelled with friends and parents through the US and Canada, she began to travel with her children – to Boston, the Mississippi Delta, Seattle, British Columbia, Washington DC, and then the Bahamas, Mexico, and England. And eventually, with her grandkids, Italy. Whether riding a gondola through Venetian waters, climbing a Mexican pyramid, lounging on a cruise deck or hiking deep into the moors of Charlotte Bronte’s Yorkshire, Betty was still always ready for another adventure.

She was constantly learning, a lifelong student. After high school, she took numerous college courses in religion and theology. She read voraciously, from Time Magazine to National Geographic and Smithsonian, absorbing everything, excited about the world and the wonders in it. She kept up her intense Master Gardener classes, and took many courses at USD through the years. She was open to new things, new experiences, new ideas – in the world, about herself. And as she took it all in, she allowed herself to expand; she stretched, she grew in spirit and in wisdom.

Betty was smart, whip smart. She read the daily paper until the last weeks of her life, wanting to be informed about all the events of the world. She loved a good conversation. The friends she kept were those she could really talk to, over dinner or wine, on the phone or in person. And she loved a good debate, whether over religion or current events. She kept herself INVOLVED in life.

We grieve now. There is a hole that cannot be filled. Memories pop forth, too fast and too raw to handle without tears. But Betty – Mom, Grandma, had a great life. A shy girl who broke out of her shell, she lived her life fully, gave of herself without limits, loved us with all of her heart. She found the love of her life, had a wonderful life with him, and remained devoted to him until her very last breath. She believed in us, we who she has now left behind, and she gave us so much of herself.

And she had fun. We have the pictures to prove it. Boy, did she have fun.

Arrangements under the direction of Goodbody Mortuary, San Diego, CA.