“Mom lived a special life as a unique and remarkable woman. Strong, elegant and smart, she shared herself and her charisma for 79 years with us. We all feel it wasn’t nearly enough time. She certainly was more than an accumulation of titles, awards, boards, accomplishments and talents. Her life extended to others in so many ways and usually into to their hearts.
Mom knew how to truly love and care for people. This sounds simple, but I am starting to understand what an extremely special gift she had. Sensitive and intuitive she knew what was going on in the hearts and minds around her.
She influenced innumerable women to be strong. Always straightforward, you knew where you stood with Mom and with that quality she honed the capacity to forgive and understand.
She loved huzzing on the swing with her sister, eating snaps and mixing candy with her popcorn. Her gazpacho recipe was of local celebrity and enjoyed by many. She always had a really hip nail polish color and she loved her feet. Her nails and hair were impeccably maintained weekly, a continuation of her early years of striking glamour. She was a devoted mother, wife, grandmother and friend.
She enjoyed sitting on her lovely screened-in porch during thunderstorms and sitting outside in the sun just to talk, listen, be and do an occasional crossword puzzle.
She disliked hair in your face and bad boyfriends. She loved Christmas, holidays, and being generous with her family. She was the instigator of many traditions like receiving matching pajamas on Christmas Eve.
She loved pop culture and remaining relevant, texting and using a computer albeit it frustrated her at times. She loved to call everyone “honey” and discuss the latest American Idol. She was CEO of her household; enviably well-organized (her closet, drawers and files second to none), fair and efficient. This involved taking care of her husband Bill in a loving and courageous manner and constantly vigilant of her 3 very different children and her four grandchildren and their well-being. ”
--- Martha H. Morgan, daughter
BIOGRAPHY of H -
Helen’s life began on January 4, 1932 when she was born the youngest of six children to Jennie and John Elias in Detroit. Her parents, “Mom” and “Pop” Elias, came to the United States from Syria and eventually settled in Detroit via the Boston area. Along with three older brothers (Fred, Louis, and John) and two older sisters (Ann and Mary), Helen grew up in a warm and lively household, a mix of Syrian and American culture. It is said that Mom Elias cooked her Syrian specialties with an open door policy that encouraged frequent trips from neighborhood friends in and out of their kitchen. A family of eight in a single modest home in Detroit, Helen’s childhood was filled with time playing with her sisters, brothers and the friends in their neighborhood.
“H” discovered her performing talents in her younger years as a child who loved to dance, pictures and stories of her bear resemblance to Shirley Temple. Later in life her tapping dancing skills would resurface in her involvement in community theater. Her sense of style also developed early. At Denby High School, she honed her noted fashion sense as a member of the Model’s club and College Board which organized activities such as trips to Hudson’s. Upon graduating Denby in 1950, her love of reading and English was firmly established.
A smart and capable woman, Helen excelled in college. She attended Michigan State College where she took life by storm. Helen majored in journalism, collecting accolades both academically and in extracurricular activities throughout her four years. A trying time for Helen in college was the death of her hometown sweetheart Johnny Buckheimer to whom she was engaged; he passed unexpectedly of a heart attack while she was at college. As a young woman, she tackled life and its challenges by staying involved in school and being a leader despite the obstacles she faced.
As President of her sorority and acknowledged in Tower Guard, Mortar Board, Union Board, Senior Council, J-hop, Theta Sigma Phi, and Gamma Delta, Helen hailed as one of the top 25 seniors of her class. Amidst her many activities, she was always impeccably dressed and still found time to enjoy her brothers’ visits, fun times with her sorority sisters and remarkable events, including an epic trip to the Rose Bowl. Back in Detroit her brothers worked to establish themselves in the restaurant business.
It was at Michigan State College where Helen would eventually meet her husband and life partner, Bill. While playing bridge with her housemother of the sorority, Helen met Bill when he came to visit the housemother and she offered him a ride home. He was at the hospitality school at MSC. Helen ended up letting Bill use her car the next day and the rest made up our current family history. Eventually Bill met and started working with Helen’s brothers in their restaurant and in developing their blooming business. He moved into the Elias household where Helen was also living after college. She had turned down a job to write for a women’s journal out East at the urging of her brothers who wanted her to help with the new family business. Helen cooked for Dad and her brothers after long work nights in her pajamas. She also worked hard in the restaurant as a dishwasher, carhop, and office manager, among many other things.
Helen and Bill fell in love. Bill took Helen to look at houses and this is when she knew they were to be married. On October 6th 1956, with the smell of fresh wet wool after a rainy MSU football game in the air, Helen and Bill walked as husband and wife down the aisle of the Lutheran Church of Our Savior in Detroit. They lived an active and fetching life as a handsome, young couple. All the while, the family business, Elias Brothers, was beginning to grow into a chain of restaurants as part of the Big Boy franchise.
It is here where Helen’s life story becomes often more about “they” than “she.” Helen and Bill moved into one of those houses they looked at together and began having children. Mary was born in 1957. Billy came soon after in 1959. While Helen tended to their new arrivals, Bill helped grow the family business. Helen dedicated her life to being a caring mother and loving wife.
Rochester is where they then lived and became an important part of that community for over 40 years. Helen and Bill were active in starting and participating in Avon Players, the community theater in Rochester. Helen was a natural performer. She starred in numerous musicals where she would dance, sing, and act for a captive audience. They also threw parties and Helen was an exceptional hostess. Later on she became an esteemed theme party expert. Helen and Bill continued to support their alma mater, MSU, as loyal football fans and as active, contributing alumni.
In 1967, Helen was the lead in “Guys and Dolls” and pregnant with their youngest child, Martha. Martha was one of the first babies born in the new wing at Crittenton Hospital, of which Bill and Helen would later be active supporters.
“H” and Bill enjoyed travelling for Big Boy conventions looking elegant. They spent time with the Elias family for work and pleasure. Helen enjoyed sitting on the swing with her sister Mary and laughing with the family all together. These extended family gatherings continued throughout the years as the family business continued to grow. Helen still utilized her journalistic talents by writing for the in-house Elias Brothers magazine and by aiding her husband in his public relations duties.
In the early seventies, Bill started a tennis club with a few other friends and Helen began playing tennis and helping with that endeavor. As their children grew older, Helen continued to stay busy and share her bright mind with various community groups. She was president of the Meadow Brook Theater Guild and a former pageant judge and board member of the Ms. Senior Michigan Pageant. She served on the boards of several Oakland County Associations and on the board of the Southeastern Michigan Chapter of the National Assistance League.
Beyond these public accomplishments, Helen had a rich personal life filled with close friends and time with her family. She read avidly, always aware of the most recent best seller. She made people laugh with her outstanding sense of humor and offered a kind and wise ear to many. She was part of a ladies discussion group that met regularly to discuss topics and support each other. She played bridge, watched “really good” television programs and rooted for MSU with complete dedication. She never forgot a birthday and always had an appropriate gift or thank you note ready.
She took delight in her four granddaughters, Ruthie, Molly, Jenny and Stephie--the children of her son, Bill, and daughter-in-law, Sue. The girls lived nearby during their early childhood years and often came to visit Grandma’s house or went on trips to the salon with her, all the while soaking in her wisdom and influence. When Bill and Sue moved away to Ohio, Helen kept in frequent touch with her granddaughters by letter. She wrote each one unique and descriptive letters that they later recognized as one of the most vivid ways in which she conveyed her love for them.
Admired for her organizational skills and neatness, Helen inspired countless people to reorganize their closets, drawers, and lives. Later in life she struggled with physical health issues. With grace and courage, she managed to continue to stay organized, take care of her husband, and laugh with others while quietly braving her own health challenges. She spread her humor and wisdom to all the health care professionals and those who had the good fortune of being in her daily life-those who did her nails, her hair, placed her dialysis needles, etc. Once again, despite any obstacles she faced, she continued to help others and tried to improve her community and the people around her.
On September 10, 2011 very early in the morning, “H” closed her eyes in her favorite chair at home near her husband Bill. She is deeply missed by her family, friends and most assuredly by many others whose lives she touched. After a life well-lived and full of loving impact, her physical absence leaves a large crater of loss in our hearts but her memory and spirit fill this part of our hearts with an abundance of light and gratitude for her time with us.
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