Gary Owen Wheelock

Gary Owen Wheelock, age 53, lost his struggle with alcoholism on July 30, 2024 at his home in Detroit, Michigan. He was born on September 17, 1970 in Detroit to Mike and Beth Wheelock. He is the younger brother of Dennis. In childhood, he also shared a home with his cousin Erin and Aunt Debbie. This family laughed, loved, and enjoyed life together. Vacations were taken in the summer months with Aunt Connie Hannink, Debbie and Beth's sister, and Connie's son John Hannink. They enjoyed weeks at their grandmother's cottage in Bracebridge, Ontario, swimming, sunning, and eating what they always thought of as a Canadian delicacy, the butter tart.

He grew up in Detroit and Redford Township, and graduated from Thurston High School. He was a devoted music student, playing cello in the Metropolitan Youth Symphony. As an openly gay and gender fluid teen in the 80’s, he navigated a fair amount of cruelty because of his otherness. Despite or perhaps because of this adversity, he developed a strong character and became a fierce advocate for himself and others.

In early adulthood, he began a career in hospitality and worked in New York, California, and Michigan. In this work, he learned the importance of recognizing the needs of others and being an effective problem solver. At Arbor Brewing Company, where he worked for many years, he earned the nickname of “Mother” because of his gift for providing compassionate no-nonsense advice to servers, patrons, friends, and family alike. His personality was vibrant and his laughter was contagious. To know Gary is to have an inside joke or 20.

If he invited you to a party, you were guaranteed three things: delicious food, great company, and laughter — the loudest laugh being his, of course. It was one of his most endearing traits. He was also a gifted storyteller, demonstrated by having won The Moth in 2010. The Moth is a competition dedicated to the art and craft of storytelling and is regularly aired on NPR radio stations.

Beneath the surface of this sharp-witted, fiercely opinionated, intelligent, hilarious, empathetic, larger-than-life force of a human, a struggle with addiction wove its way in and out of his life over the years. Although this was his ultimate demise, it did not define him. Even in his darkest times, he gave what he could to help someone struggling more than himself.

His desire to help others later inspired him to develop a small business as a caregiver for senior citizens. From this business, he met Margaret Browning and this friendship opened two major chapters in his life. He became co-parent to her (then) 7-year-old son, Mark, or, as Gary called him 007. He also joined Browning & Associates in 2012 as a Guardian Representative, where he helped many clients improve the quality of their lives.

In his later years, he purchased an historic home in the Bagley Community of Detroit as an homage to the city he loved. He organized biweekly neighborhood walks, joined Bagley Community Council, and participated in various community building initiatives to beautify the neighborhood and foster community. His home is surrounded by beautifully curated gardens which include irises, his favorite flower.

Gary lived his life by two guiding principles, which he regularly shared with others: 1.”If what you are doing isn't working, try something different.” 2.”Look for the solution, not the problem.” They say it only takes one person to change the trajectory of someone’s life. He that one person to a countless number of people from all walks of life. It shall remain unknown if he truly understood the impact he made in this world.

Left to cherish his memory are his loving parents, Michael & Elizabeth Wheelock; his brother, Dennis Wheelock; his four aunts: Deborah Hoover, Sally (Charles) Plachetzki, Loretta Crowther, and Michelle Crowther; his many cousins: the late Erin Hoover, Winslow Hoover,David (Sabrina) Plachetzki, Lisa Banka, Daniel (Rachel) Crowther, Renee (Kenneth) Harding, Wendy Dorer, and John (Bridget) Hannink.

Gary was preceded in death by his Aunts: Constance Hannink, and Meta Crowther; his Uncles: Dennis Soper, Daniel Crowther, and Dean Crowther.

In accordance with Gary’s wishes, cremation has taken place. A celebration of Gary’s life will be held on September 7, 2024, from 1:30 - 4:00 pm at Laurel Manor 39000 Schoolcraft Rd, Livonia, Michigan 48150. Please join the family to celebrate his life.