Elaine Susan Falender died peacefully at home in Cape Elizabeth on April 21, 2022, surrounded by her loving family. She was 69 at the time of her death, and had struggled for years against metastatic breast cancer.
Elaine was born on July 23, 1952, in Indianapolis, IN, the daughter of Fredrick and Doris (Newmark) Falender. She had an idyllic mid-20th-century childhood and was still in touch with her closest friends from those early years at the end of her life. Elaine attended public schools in Indianapolis. She was a graduate of Colorado College and earned her law degree from Georgetown Law School in 1978. Elaine and her husband, Gordon K. Gayer, met in the Law School library and were inseparable thereafter. They married in 1980 at her parents’ home in Indianapolis.
Elaine enormously enjoyed her legal career and colleagues, practicing law for over 20 years, first at Covington & Burling in Washington, DC, and then at Pierce Atwood in Portland, after moving with her family to Maine in 1985. More recently, Elaine found great satisfaction from a second career as a strategic planning consultant for nonprofit organizations. She particularly enjoyed helping the Elliotsville Foundation in its environmentally and culturally sensitive development of the Katahdin Woods and Waters National Monument, adjacent to Baxter State Park. She was very grateful for her exposure to the rich culture and aspirations of the Wabanaki people who were the first human inhabitants of that area.
Elaine was dedicated to her community and her faith. She served for 9 years on the Cape Elizabeth Planning Board, including a term as chair. Cross-cultural exchange was important to her and she very much enjoyed serving on the board of the Chinese American Friendship Association of Maine. Most important of all was her service to Congregation Bet Ha’am, the Portland-area Reform Jewish synagogue. Elaine was twice called to serve as President of the congregation, chaired one rabbinic search committee and served on another, and served on numerous other campaigns and committees, as well as teaching religious school.
Elaine loved world travel. She studied in Mexico, Argentina, Japan and Italy. With her mother, she toured the Soviet Union, and in 1978 went to China with one of the first Western tour groups to visit that country after its opening to outside visitors. She and Gordon took their children over much of Europe, as well as China, Japan, and Australia. Elaine also enjoyed the family’s annual tradition of canoe camping in Maine’s North Woods. As their children left for college, Elaine and Gordon continued canoeing on the Allagash Waterway and added annual hiking trips in the Swiss Alps.
Above all, Elaine loved the family which she nurtured for 41 years, and who are her legacy and immediate survivors: her husband, Gordon Gayer; her children, Elisabeth, Daniel, and Carlin; her children-in-law, Ryan, Sarah, and Noah; and her grandchildren, Grace, Neil, Hope, Micah, Leif, Joy, and Lily. She is survived as well by her stepmother, Joan Falender of Belvedere, CA, and her much-loved brother and sister-in-law, Stephen and Debra Falender, of Aspen, CO, and their children and grandchildren. She is also survived by the many delightful in-laws she acquired from her husband’s large family, particularly enjoying friendship, football-watching and symphony-going in recent years with Alan and Sally Gayer of New Castle, NH.
A funeral service for Elaine will be held on Friday, April 29, 2022, at 11:00 am at Congregation Bet Ha’am in South Portland, with interment to follow at Riverside Memorial Cemetery in Cape Elizabeth. The service will be live streamed by Jones, Rich & Barnes Funeral Home, Portland. Please call 207-775-3763 for further information or visit www.jonesrichandbarnes.com for further information and to leave a tribute in Elaine’s memory.
Elaine’s family would like to thank New England Cancer Specialists for their long-lasting and dedicated medical treatment of Elaine, and Hospice of Southern Maine for their compassionate and supportive care in her last days. In lieu of flowers, the family suggests that donations in Elaine’s memory may be sent to Friends of Katahdin Woods and Waters or Congregation Bet Ha’am.
