Shaun Trainer

May 27, 1949 - March 11, 2012

It is with love and profound sadness that we announce the passing of our beloved husband, dad, son, brother, brother-in-law, and friend. Shaun passed away at the age of 62 on March 11, 2012 at the Victoria General Hospital after a three year battle with a rare degenerative brain disease.

He will forever live affectionately in the hearts of his loving wife of 42 years Darlene (nee Greenley), son Derek (Jenn) and daughter Danielle. Also left to mourn are his mother Peggie, siblings Pat (Liz), Carol (Keith), Michael (Karen) and Glenn, brothers-in-law Murray (Brenda) and Jim (Terry), sisters-in-law Louise, Roberta (John) and Pat (Bob), and all his cherished nieces and nephews. Shaun was predeceased by his father Donald, his adored Auntie Edna, and in-laws Merton and Dorothy Greenley.

Shaun was born to Don and Peggie Trainer on May 27, 1949. He grew up on Sydney Avenue in East Kildonan and was a true E.K. boy through and through. Shaun was a character, with a tremendous force of personality. He was always the centre of attention. He loved to play the crowd, telling stories that kept people laughing and endeared him to everyone. Yet he always called it as he saw it, sparing no one from his quick wit and sarcasm. Even though it stung a little, you tended to love him even more.

Shaun spotted Darlene at the Lily Restaurant in the Munroe Shopping Centre and it was love at first sight. They were married on August 30, 1969 and welcomed their son Derek in 1976 and daughter Danielle in 1978.

Shaun started his career with Canada Post in 1971 as a letter carrier and retired in December 2006 after 35 years. He enjoyed his job as a carrier and the lifelong friendships he made at Canada Post.

Shaun's greatest joy was our annual summer vacations as a family, travelling throughout Canada and the United States. His favourite destinations were Disney World, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Las Vegas, and Graceland. He always looked forward to our shopping trips to Fargo, Minneapolis, and heading out west to visit Danielle in Lake Louise, Fernie and Vancouver, and he enjoyed watching her snowboard. In September 2009, we were able to celebrate our 40th anniversary as a family in Whistler, B.C. Shaun took Darlene to England and France in 1979 and also spent time there as a teenager, visiting his grandparents and Auntie Edna. After his retirement, we thoroughly enjoyed our two winters in Osoyoos, B.C.

Shaun had many loves, none more so than his love of music, especially listening to Elvis and the Beatles. He enjoyed spending time with son Derek, watching movies and hockey, and fixing up the family vehicles. Shaun was an avid sports fan and he would have been thrilled with the return of the Winnipeg Jets. As well, he played on the Canada Post hockey team. He also enjoyed cycling to work each day until the first snowfall. He loved our dogs, Dexter, Jessica, Copper and Kobee, although he would never admit it. Community involvement was important in his life. He coached both Derek and Danielle in hockey and ringette, and was on several sports committees in Transcona. Every child he coached was treated like an extension of our family.

Shaun will always be remembered for his love and dedication to his entire family. He truly knew the importance of sharing and giving, and had a "heart of gold".

Dad, we will cherish all the glorious memories you made for us. We love you, and will hold you in our hearts forever.

To Mom... our hero... thank you for all these years of quiet, selfless, dedicated loving care, and refusing to give up or give in, even to your own hurt. You spoke those vows and you meant them. You laid down your life to pick up Dad's and help him walk through it with all that you could give and all that you could do.

Darlene and family would like to express their deepest appreciation to River Park Gardens PCH for the exceptional, loving care they provided for Shaun. Thank you also to N1 South Staff at Concordia Hospital for your support and devoted care at a very difficult period of time in his illness. Also thanks to staff at the Victoria General Hospital for helping Shaun in his final days. The staff at Concordia Hospital and River Park Gardens became like a second family during his stay. The compassion shown to us will never be forgotten.

A viewing will be held on Thursday, March 15, 2012, from 7pm to 8pm in Green Acres Funeral Home at Hwy 1 East at Navin Road. Celebration of Shaun's life will be held on Friday, March 16, 2012 at 11am at Grace Lutheran Church at 211 Kimberly Ave.

Memorial donations may be made in memory of Shaun to the Children's Wish Foundation or the Ladybug Foundation (www.ladybugfoundation.ca).

GREEN ACRES

Funeral Home and Cemetery

(204) 222-3241

Condolences may be sent to

www.greenacresfuneralhome.com

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Words of Rememberance - Mike Trainer (brother)

Shaun was the second oldest of 5 children and grew up on Sydney Avenue in East Kildonan. He married his high school sweetheart Darlene and they have 2 children, Derek and Danielle.

Shaun had several different jobs after high school before joining Canada Post as a letter carrier in 1971 where he thoroughly enjoyed his work retiring in 2006 after 35 years of service.

He enjoyed being involved in his kids’ lives and coached them in both summer and winter sports. He also coached his nephews and niece in hockey and ringette.

Shaun also enjoyed his four legged kids as well and took great pride in his three Dobermans: Dexter, Jessica and especially Kooper. Kooper was constantly by his side no matter what Shaun was doing. Shaun was especially proud of the fact that Kooper was extremely large for a Doberman weighing in at about 130 lbs but was also the most docile dog you could ask for. We were talking the other day and Pat told us about the time Shaun was out driving around in his old Rambler with Kooper. Shaun had taken the back seat out of the car so Kooper would have more room to lie down. He was stopped at a red light when a couple of grungy looking guys on motorbikes pulled up beside him and were staring him down. All Shaun did was say the word Koops and Kooper jumped to his feet, stuck his head out the window and looked at the guys on the bikes. They turned, looked straight ahead and took off when the light turned green.

When they decided about 16 years ago to get another dog they downsized and picked up Kobee who still constantly goes to window waiting for Shaun to come home.

Shaun always thought about the consequences of his actions and did not act in an impulsive way. One of these times was when he was a young boy and the family was at Grand Beach. Shaun and Pat were playing down by the main beach where there was a little tour boat called the Clipper docked. In order to get to the Clipper you had to cross a floating dock that would separate from the main pier when the tide changed. Pat had jumped on to the pier and was trying to convince Shaun to follow. Shaun didn’t want to do it because he didn’t think that he could jump back, but Pat finally convinced Shaun to jump and he made it on, but when it came time to leave Shaun would not jump back as the floating dock and pier had separated and he knew he wouldn’t make it. So he was stuck on the pier while Pat who managed to jump back on to the dock went to look for our father to get Shaun off as he would not move from the pier. Needless to say the only person who received punishment that day was Pat, who chose to jump on the pier and not think of the consequences of his actions.

Shaun was a huge Winnipeg Jet fan in the old WHA and early NHL years and the family had a group of season tickets together where we all enjoyed watching the games. If he was able to he would have been the first one in line to purchase tickets for the new team and organize a way for the whole family to attend the games like we did before.

Growing up, our mother liked to keep a clean and tidy house. When she had started working outside the home Shaun was put in charge of doing the housework with help from his three younger siblings. For this he was given an extra allowance. But what our mother didn’t know until much later was how the housework was actually done. Basically what happened was Shaun sat in the living room barking out orders to his three little slaves on what we were to do next. When we finished, and if our work passed his inspection, we were allowed to go play but always with the reminder if we ratted him out we would pay for it dearly.

I have a couple of personal memories I would like to share.

When I was 16 Shaun got me a summer job at Glacier Foods where he worked. He worked on the day shift and I worked evenings from 4-12. Glacier Foods was located in the cold storage building at the corner of Salter and Jarvis which even back then wasn’t exactly the best neighbourhood to be hanging around in, especially at night. We lived on Sydney Avenue in East Kildonan and I took the bus to and from work. Much to my surprise one night at the end of my shift Shaun was waiting to give me a ride home, which to me was totally awesome because I had to take a bus downtown then transfer to a Henderson bus to get home. What I didn’t know was the night before when I left work was that two of the ladies I worked with saw that I was being followed by a couple of unscrupulous looking guys and had just made it to the bus stop on Salter before they could cause me any harm. They told Shaun the next day and instead of him telling me to be careful or to look around when I left he just showed up and gave me a ride home. I didn’t find out until later the real reason he came and gave me a ride home that night.

The second one is when the kids were younger.

I don’t remember the exact date or year but we had picked Danielle and Tracy up from ringette camp and decided to go out for supper at one of the local pizza restaurants on Nairn Avenue. There was Shaun, Darlene, Karen, myself and the four kids. We were seated; the waiter brought us our water and said he would be right back to take our order. Now if you know Shaun sometimes patience wasn’t one of his strong suits. So as a few minutes turned into ten minutes then 15 minutes and finally after 45 minutes he returned to take our order. You could almost see smoke coming out of Shaun’s ears. Darlene was able to stop him from making a scene. We placed our order and were able to have our supper. When it came time to pay for our food we spoke to the manager and let him know what had happened and how poor the service was. The manager agreed that that it was not acceptable and reduced the bill in half. Now that the restaurant had taken responsibility for the poor service Shaun said that he would leave a tip and made sure that the waiter knew that he was going to leave it on the table. So you can imagine the look on the waiter’s face when he returned to the table after we left and found a napkin on the table with the word TIP written across the top and written below were the words: LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET.

For those in heaven who will now have their mail delivered by Shaun.

There are three things you will need to know:

Your mail will always be early.

He will not stay off your grass.

And if you do something he doesn’t like he will cut your service off.

We would like to thank Darlene for her love and dedication looking after Shaun in his time of sickness.

I know that the entire Trainer and Greenley families will miss him dearly and Shaun will remain forever in our hearts.

Thank you.

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Eulogy read by son Derek Trainer

If Dad had it his way, he would be wearing shorts on a day like today.

It’s hard to know where to start.

I had a hard time sleeping those last few nights. I kept waking up in the middle of the night, expecting to hear the phone ring and to hear those words that I was dreading, but knew, in my heart, were coming. Despite all the grief, the pain, the long nights … amazingly, I knew better things were set to come, his pain was ending. His last days he was surrounded by love, from both the Trainers and the Greenleys, and I would like to think this made his journey easier.

Dad’s life was about making people happy and doing his best to hear everyone's stories. This is not an exaggeration or euphemism: it was his actual self-admitted goal. Nothing made him happier than joking and talking with others. Many a night, after one of our hockey games or ringette games, Dad could be seen talking to everybody; joking, conversing. The same could be said if he was in the mall with Darlene and saw a fellow postie. Sure enough, that was a 15 minute conversation.

He always loved spending time with family and friends, whether it was Christmas at one of the Trainers, Greenley family reunions in Melita, coffee with his co-workers…he loved to be the centre of attention. I guess today is his crowning glory, everyone is here for him today. They’re all talking and thinking about you today, Dad.

Growing up, Dad was always the first one home from work, to relieve Grandma of the horrors that Danielle had done, whether it was breaking a toy over my head or cutting Grandma’s hair. He would cook for us, having supper ready for when Darlene walked down Cloverdale around 5.

He loved to travel. I can remember many summers, packing up the 1985 Parisienne wagon, and heading south for a couple of weeks, whether it was Florida or the Black Hills of South Dakota. After mom retired, Dad and she began taking vacations together, without the kids. They enjoyed going camping and visiting Danielle out west.

Dad also was ready to help anyone out, at the drop of a hat. I remember the first time I asked Jenn out. I was going to pick her up in the 85 Skylark, keep in mind this was 2003. Anyway, the starter went and Dad offered me the use of the wagon. I accepted and one of our first dates started with me picking her up in the big family wagon. That was Dad, always ready to help out, even if it meant putting down the dinner fork and heading out to help family. I also remember the time, after I smashed up our first Granada, he drove another Granada back from Portage la Prairie, in the middle of winter, with no heat. Of course, that summer we spent our time fixing that problem.

When I think of my Dad, I always remember how generous he was; how much he wanted to help others before helping himself. I remember the day he took me to Toys R’Us for the first time. As we were about to leave, he said that the store prefers that you buy something before you leave. So I was able to pick out a He-Man figure. It wasn’t until later in life that I thought back to this day and realized this was a devious way for Dad to give me something without just giving it to me for no reason. This is probably why today I cannot leave a store without wanting to buy something. Jenn can attest to this.

He also loved his pets, whether it was Tom, or the Dobermens, Kooper, Jessica, and Dexter, or Kobee - a love that he secretly transferred to me. He would never admit to loving his pets, but we knew that he did. I used to enjoy how he would get Kobee going by telling him squirrel outside the window, and then Kobee would start to bark. After a little while, especially when there was actually a squirrel there, Kobee would keep barking and barking. Eventually, Dad would yell at him to shut up, even though he was the one who got the dog started.

Looking at all these people here today — family, friends, co-workers and neighbours - this shows how much Shaun was loved and how much he will be missed. He was always a people person, he would want to know that he left people happy and laughing. So think of your own memory of Shaun, a joke he shared, a story he told, and let that live on. As long as he’s in our hearts and minds, he will never be forgotten.

At this time, I would like to share a message from my mom, Darlene that she requested I read here today.

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Words from loving wife Darlene -

When Shaun was first diagnosed with this brain disease, I thought how will we make it through this long journey of the unknowns.

Each day came with new challenges for Shaun and myself.

We both faced them with a lot of hard work, love and determination.

I had so many people step into my life along this journey that always gave me that encouraging word, that phone call just when I needed it to help lift my spirits.

I want to thank my family for their love and support.

When Shaun was in Concordia, I would come to see him and he would be missing out of his room and I knew right away Murray had taken Shaun down to the cafeteria for his daily fix of Timbits and chocolate milk.

Also to my sisters Pat, Louise and Roberta, and brother Jim, whose love and support were always deeply appreciated.

As well, I would like to thank the Trainer family for supporting me and the kids, while enduring their own broken hearts, watching their son and brother take this painful journey.

Special thanks to my CMHC girlfriends that never stopped calling to check on me, taking me out for lunches and for sticking by my side every step of the way.

Thank you to everyone for your love and support, through this challenging time for Shaun and our family.

Shaun, the kids and myself are so honoured that you were a part of our lives. We will miss your guidance, sense of humour, and your kind heart.

Shaun, in your straight-forward approach, you would say to us in a time like this "Shit Happens".

Now, Danielle would like to share a poem with Dad.

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A Poem read by daughter Danielle -

The moment that you died,

Our hearts split in two,

The one side filled with memories,

The other died with you.

We often lay awake at night,

When the world is fast asleep,

And walk down memory lane,

With tears upon our cheeks.

Remembering you is easy,

We do it every day,

But missing you is a heartache

That never goes away.

We hold you tightly within our hearts,

And there you will remain,

Life has gone on without you,

But it will never be the same.

For those who still have their dads,

Treat him with tender care,

You will never know the emptiness,

As you turn and he is not there.

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EXCERPT – CELEBRATION OF LIFE FOR SHAUN TRAINER – Marianne Propp

From the day that Shaun was diagnosed, so many of you have been quick to offer your love and support; a gesture not lost on Shaun’s family who’ve been deeply moved by your kindness, and have asked me today to pass on their sincere gratitude to each and everyone one of you.

As you can only imagine it has been an incredibly painful and difficult time for Shaun’s family.

There are mixed feelings of disbelief and sadness, of fear and questioning; all very natural given the circumstances with which Shaun’s illness engulfed him. As we struggle to come to terms with the immense loss, we draw inspiration from Shaun’s life, and having known him; a vibrant, quick witted individual whose love knew no depths. Shaun was blessed with an amazing intellect, great sense of humour and an active life.

Shaun handled these past couple of years with characteristic good, courage, tenacity and dignity, surrounded as always with the love and devotion of his family and friends.

As sad as his death is for us all, we can draw comfort from the knowledge that Shaun has now been released from his physical suffering. I know his family is relieved that his fight is over and he can now rest peacefully.

Today as we celebrate and remember Shaun’s life, so well lived, we will hear some favourite music and we will see snapshots of his life through words spoken.

Following the chapel service, the family invites everyone for a time of fellowship at the Nor-Villa Hotel, on Henderson Hwy. Private Interment will follow at Green Acres.

And so, this time is sacred and special, where we can let tears flow and let laughter heal, where we can share stories and begin the journey of turning those stories into memories.

REMARKS BY CELEBRANT :

Ask anyone about Shaun Trainer who knew him through work, or personal relationships, and you will be met with a pause, a smile, a giggle, a gaze . . . as if the question had just triggered a steam of enjoyable and humorous memories being played out in the sky or on a distant screen. His influence and his spirit will live on forever.

When I met with the family the other day, we remembered Shaun as being uncomplicated and direct. Shaun did not have a facade, what you saw was Shaun. He was transparent, unpretentious, always straightforward and forthright. His word was his bond; honesty was his code of honour.

We remember A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR, as brother Mike calls it a “dry British sense of humour.” He loved a good joke, even if the joke was on him. He had the ability to bring levity to any situation with his quit wit.

I, for one, remember Shaun many years ago, gathered around a kitchen table discussing a family event. It was a sombre moment, and then out of the blue, Shaun began throwing his quirky sense of humour at me, instantly breaking the sombreness of the moment, and from there on in, we were friends.

We remember the younger days at Grand Beach; the brothers getting into trouble with Big D.

We remember that, as a young boy, he was described as being older than his years in wisdom, keeping things orderly, his penmanship was always perfect. He was a brother who ironed and cooked for extra allowance. As a young boy, he always coloured within the lines and that continued on as Darlene described “he never stepped outside the box”. He always thought about the consequences.

We remember the many things that made Shaun smile – his close relationship with his extended family, Darlene, music, sports, his work for Canada Post, and most of all his children Derek and Danielle.

We remember a man who was always ready to help. He would drop everything, and go and help.

We remember a protective big brother to sister Carol, and of course, a protective father to Danielle.

We remember a father who was actively involved in his children’s lives, always being strict and demanding, expecting only the best out of them.

We remember vacations and road trips, especially impromptu trips to Fargo for shopping. Of course he usually only came home with a garden hose, or a dog leash.

We remember his admiration for his grandparents in England and his Aunt Edna. We remember his love for his mom Peggie.

We remember a super good cook; tacos, chili, stew and Saturday mornings at G’News. We remember how he loved Dairy Milk chocolate. We remember a car enthusiast, an animal lover.

We remember courage in fighting the brain disease.

We remember how he enjoyed brother-in-law Murray who visited him in the hospital, took him for long walks in the wheelchair and continued to bring laughter to Shaun’s life.

We remember this and so much more, a protective father, a loving husband, son, brother and brother in law, uncle, and friend.

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