The facts of Helen’s life don’t add up to the essence of who Helen Oxenberg was. Who Helen was transcended any and all facts. But here they are:
Born Dec. 21, 1924 in Troy, NY. The second child of Ben and Mae Joffe. Irwin older brother. Nine years later, brother David born.
Moved to various places where her father had his own businesses. As an Orthodox Jew, he couldn’t work for others because he had to observe the Shabbos.
Moved to and grew up in Brooklyn.
Attended Thomas Jefferson high school. The group of friends from high school, Louise, Bernice, Thelma, Eleanor and Helen remained friends throughout their lives. Eleanor is the one left now.
Attended Hunter College, journalism major. Women couldn’t get jobs in journalism then.
Married Arthur Oxenberg shortly after WWII. Moved to Bell Park Gardens, in Queens.
Had first child, Jan in Dec. 1950. Followed by Richard in 1953 and Judy in 1955.
Judy was killed by a car at age 7. Shortly after moving to Elmont, Long Island.
After that tragedy, Helen and Artie had twins, a year later, Daniel and Julie. Danny was born first. The doctor said, your daughter is beautiful but your son is no gentleman.
Moved from Elmont, LI to Roslyn, Long Island.
Designed and had a beautiful house built on a pond in Roslyn Estates.
Tumultuous marriage. Returned to school. Got a Masters in Social Work from Adelphi University.
Artie and Helen separated.
Met Arthur Gordon at the shiva for her mother, Mae Joffe. Art was a friend of Helen’s older brother Irwin.
They moved to NJ, were original residents of Whittingham active retirement community.
Helen worked part-time doing bereavement counseling at a hospice, in order to devote part time to writing.
Created her own successful advice column empire! In a daily newspaper in Chicago and syndicated in senior media all over the country and on-line. Ask Helen. Senior Solutions. The Answer Mom.
Created a workshop based on her advice columns which she did all over the country, most recently last May in California.
Continued writing essays and a memoir called Meanwhile in which stories from her life alternate with what the headlines in the NY Times were. A personal history placed in the context of social history.
A passionate champion for justice, women’s rights, sensible gun laws, a woman president and getting rid of the monster in the White House who she always knew was a con man.
Beloved by friends from her Rational Controversy class at Rutgers with Harvey and by her children and friends and surrogate children far and wide.
Finally got a grandchild! The amazing talented much-loved Gabriel. Got to share 11 great years with him.
Died suddenly of pneumonia 94 years young, still vital, and with two years left on the lease for her car, on March 21, 2019.
To strengthen democracy and to fight voter suppression, the family would appreciate donations in Helen’s name to either The League of Women Voters or Spread The Vote at https://www.lwv.org/ and https://www.spreadthevote.org/donate respectively.
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