Dylan George Snider

Dylan Snider passed away May 9, 2013 at Longmont United Hospital. He was 25 years old.Dylan was born March 3, 1988 in Boulder, Colorado to Glen E. and Ann Michele (Grunklee) Snider.Dylan grew up and lived his entire life in Longmont. He graduated from Ute Creek Secondary Academy in 2006, after which he attended Front Range Community College where he graduated with an associate degree in Arts. Dylan worked at Raggazi restaurant as a server for six years and as a photographer for Grad Track for three years.He was of the Christian faith and enjoyed skateboarding, photography, listening to music, playing basketball, and working out. He loved his family and spending time with them.Dylan is preceded in death by his grandfathers Lyle Snider, George Grunklee and Marion Fast.Dylan is survived by his father Glen and stepmom Linda Fast of Longmont; his mother Ann Michele of Louisville; his three siblings Tyson Snider, Lydia Hoffmann, and Riley Hoffmann; his grandmothers Dorothy Snider of Abilene, KS, Glorianne Grunklee, and Sara Fast; and numerous aunts, uncles, and cousins.A memorial service will be held at 2:00 PM Monday May 13, 2013 at Calvary Church. Cremation at Ahlberg Funeral Chapel and Crematory. Memorial contributions may be made to the Dylan Snider memorial fund in c/o Ahlberg Funeral Chapel. Visit www.ahlbergfuneralchapel.com to share condolences.A Message From Dylan's Dad.....My name is Glen Snider. I am Dylan's father. I am also the father of Tyson, Lydia and Riley.There are moments in all of our lives - in all of our families - that are defining moments. There are those moments that if your write the history of your family, some dates are going to stand out as landmark dates. This is one of those moments. This is every parent's nightmare. It's not supposed to be this way.Let me tell you about Dylan. I love to talk about my son.Dylan came into the world March 3, 1988. 3-3-8-8. As Dylan grew, he loved to skateboard. He could make that skateboard do things I could not imagine. To think that I thought skateboards were to roll on the ground. He made it fly. Dylan carried a battle scar from a skateboard to his upper lip “ one of those endearing things about Dylan.In high school, he played basketball. Dylan Gangles Snider and Spencer Stout Gerke were the 1-2 punch for Ute Creek Secondary Academy. Dylan seemed to be a natural at basketball and loved to get into pick-up games at parks around town.He had a knack for photography. He had an eye for composing a scene. He turned that skill into a job traveling around the state and the country taking graduation photos. It was fun to see him as a photographer at his brother Tyson's graduation from Longmont High.Speaking of Tyson, no one was closer to Dylan than Tyson. No one was closer to Tyson than Dylan. To say one name was to say the other name. They symbolized their bond by getting tattoos on their arms. Read it one way, it says Brothers. Read it the other way, it says Eternity. They are forever connected with each other.Dylan liked tattoos. It started with the Brothers/Eternity tattoo on his left arm. Then there was a tree on this right shoulder. Then the tree grew and had more branches and roots. Then there was the Colorado emblem. When I saw him last Sunday, he added waves around the Brothers/Eternity. He loved his new tattoo.He also enjoyed the Bolder Boulder every year, running it many times. It was a family tradition to meet in Section 203 in Folsom Field after the race and then wander around the Expo. Tyson, Brian and I will miss those times with Dylan.He came to us twice “ once in January 2012 to ask for help getting off the oxys and benzos. Then again in January 2013 to get off alcohol. During that time he was in detox at least 6 times, in the ER who knows how many times, several seizures in detox, in 2 recovery programs for part of the program. He tried to beat it on his own. He tried to beat it with the help of friends at AA and NA. His brother helped. His mom helped. My wife and I helped.It's a funny thing “ help. You love your kids and you believe in them. You want to help, but at some point, help becomes enabling. I don't know when that line is crossed. But at some point you realize that all your good intentioned help is simply helping them use. There is nothing happy about this story. ¢ This is a young man that everyone loved. He was good looking, had a great smile, could talk with anyone. The world was at his feet. To know Dylan was to love Dylan.¢ This is a young man who should be settling down with a wife and kids.¢ This is a young man at the beginning of life, not a man at the end of a long and productive life. He was a man full of unrealized potential.It's good to see so many people impacted by Dylan's life. Let me talk to a few of you:You Young PeopleYou are asking why. You are searching for answers.Dylan was a beautiful young man, but he made mistakes. Many of you are making the same mistakes. ¢ None of us get out of here alive. ¢ Death is the Destiny of Everyone. ¢ Our days are numbered. ¢ You don't know it all. ¢ You are not invincible. ¢ Exercise some self-discipline. ¢ Control your appetites. ¢ Learn to say no to some of them. ¢ Pick good friends. ¢ Bad company corrupts good morals. Your think your life sucks? You cope with life by masking your pain? Feel the pain. Embrace the pain. Self-medication it d sn't solve it “ it just prolongs it.You think it's fun to get high? You think it's fun to get drunk?I wish you could have seen and talked to Dylan. He hated his life.You control your decisions. Then your decisions control you.Want to see your partying future? Go to an AA meeting. THOSE are brave people. Just one drunk helping another drunk. No pretenses there. Just real, raw emotion, helping each other and fighting their battles every day. If Jesus were on earth today, He'd be at an AA meeting to help people. Make a fearless moral inventory of your life. Get help. Be accountable.You Users & Addicts¢ The drugs and alcohol are bigger than you. ¢ You need something bigger than it.¢ The Higher Power has a name. His name is Jesus. A name makes it personal “ not a vague concept, but a real person who wants a real relationship with you.If you would like to learn more about Jesus, you are welcome here. This is a place of broken people. Everyone here has a story. They will gladly listen to your story. You will hear the TRUTH here “ about your condition and about hope.You don't know when your next time will be your last time. You must be ready to face eternity. DO NOT THINK you have to clean up your act first to meet Jesus. None of us can clean up our act good enough. He will meet you right where you are. Right here. Right now.Jesus said In the world you will have trouble “ heartache, tribulation, and loss “ but take heart. I have overcome the world.If you feel a prompting “ act on that prompting.You Church People¢ My son loved OxyContin. He loved heroin. He loved alcohol. ¢ And at the same time, he yearned for Jesus. He went to church with us on Easter Sunday and was reminded of the Good News of Jesus Christ and His victory of life over death.I don't know how it all works. He made a profession of faith and was baptized right here at Calvary Church. But the Beast had him. He hated loving it. Yet he did. Instead of moving to Romans 8, he lived in Romans 7. He knew what was right and he was torn in the valley of indecision. It was brutal.You ParentsIf your kids are doing this, you see your kids struggling, you're being set up. You want the best for your son or daughter “ you're set up for hope. But you're really set up for failure. In the middle of all this, I was scratching my head wondering Can I do anything right? It was a horrible feeling.When you as a couple watch your child go through a rebellion that spirals out of control downward, it's not just the child spiraling out of control. It has a way of defining a marriage and a family in ways you cannot imagine.The helplessness, the sense of despair, the shame, the feelings of failure, of thinking back through all the mistakes you've made and trying to blame yourself for what's going wrong with a child who clearly has his own will.For any parents that are weeping because you know what I'm talking about “ you know what 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning feels like “ you know what it is like to have your son or daughter look you in the eye and say one thing and do another¦The only thing I can say to you “ and I want you to hear me with all my heart “ is that Christ loves you. He loves you and he loves your child. He will do WHAT EVER IT TAKES to bring that child not to you, but to Him.That has got to be your prayer.To be reconciled with your child is a minor thing because if they are on drugs, they are cons. If they are on drugs, they are lying to you. See their mouth? It is saying lies “ because that is the drug culture.Christ never lies and He sees through their lies. He will not take their lies. He will be the Hound of Heaven that will pursue them and fight for them.To my wonderful wife Linda and Dylan's mom Ann:We did the best we could with what we knew. The thing about life is that it is so daily. We never seem to know what to expect or what is around the corner. The one thing we can never anticipate, however, is the loss of a child. There is no manual or preparation for that. Our family dynamics have forever changed. At every family gathering one person will be missing.To Tyson, Riley and Lydia:Remember the last 29 days of Dylan's life, when he was sober.¢ He was sleeping through the night.¢ He had an appetite.¢ He was working out.¢ He was clear eyed.¢ His voice was strong, his sentences made sense.¢ He found a sponsor.¢ He had a new job.¢ The Oxford House chose him as President of the house.¢ He had a new tattoo.He was more excited about life than I'd seen him in a while. He was on the right path. Last Sunday he told me, Dad, I feel like I'm finally getting a few breaks. I feel like things are starting to go my way. But he was in an epic battle “ the battle of good vs. evil. He was fighting a Beast. The Beast was unrelenting. But Dylan NEVER STOPPED FIGHTING. He won the battle many times. He may have felt like he let us down. But I was NEVER disappointed in him. Neither were you. He may have felt he disappointed us, but we were ALWAYS by his side.He wanted to change. He wanted to get better. He fought hard. Dylan went down fighting. That is Dylan's legacy to us. Let's remember that. Dylan's DestinyAfter Dylan's death, I stayed up at night wondering about his eternal destiny. When he was young, Dylan made a profession of faith and was baptized. But then he grew up and went his own way. I did not see the behavior that I'm used to seeing in someone who wants to follow Christ. But at the end of his life, he was open and searching. He wanted to learn more about the higher power because he knew his life was out of control. I asked God if He would be gracious enough to give me some indication about Dylan's destiny. Within 24 hours of his death, I had 4 separate conversations with people I respect. All 4 of them are in this room. I asked them that question.One said that God's grace and mercy are deeper and wider than we humans give him credit for. We humans with our finite minds and limited understanding put God in a box and make Him small. We look for certain behaviors or listen for certain words. But looks at the heart. God was madly in love with Dylan and would do anything to bring him to Him.Another commented that God began a work in Dylan and promised to carry it to completion. He reminded me of God's promises never to lose one of His children.Another said that Dylan was involved in a spiritual battle. The intensity of the battle was an indication of the value of the prize. And you don't fight for something that you already possess. Dylan was God's child. The Beast wanted him and fought hard for him. Dylan's body was lost but his soul was saved.Finally, one commented that a few months ago, Dylan re-committed his life to Christ. He made it through Step 3 “ made a decision to turn his will and his life over to the care of God.I received a gift of grace from God in the answer to my prayer. I am at peace. Dylan lives in Paradise.When this day is over, we will go back to our daily routines. Life g s on. They say that time heals all wounds. This one will take some time.But remember Dylan. Remember his character. Remember his smile and how his smile would make you smile. Live your life in a way that would bring him honor. He fought to be a better person. Learn from his example.We're all in this together. We need each other. In the end, it's all about people.Don't judge. Help each other. Please carry this message to others. It is better to go to a House of MourningThan to go to a House of FeastingFor Death is the Destiny of EveryoneThe living should take this to heart. Ecclesiastes 7:2Many of the ideas and words I used in my comments regarding my son Dylan are from a Family Life Today radio broadcast with Dennis Mansfield and his book Beautiful Nate, describing his experience with his son's addiction and death. To hear the entire broadcast, go to: http://www.familylife.com/audio/series/series-featured-in-2012/beautiful-nate