Derek Bowden was my brother-in-law and I only saw him a few times over the past 19 years. One particular memory proves that quality can trump quantity when measuring time spent together. In July of 2001, my husband and our two daughters went to New England on a vacation. It was in the Berkshire Mountains of Western Massachusetts that I came to know Derek's fun side.  He, Karen, Phillip and Katrina joined us for several days on this trip. We played games, had dinner together, toured the Norman Rockwell museum, had a picnic, rented jet skis, went swimming, and enjoyed time together as families. My most favorite memory was of the evening when we were together and watched the movie “Notting Hill”. Being from England, Derek was able to provide interesting commentary about the different places where the movie was filmed. It added so much to an already wonderful movie, and I remember that special evening every time I watch this movie.

First and foremost I want to say Thank You

Thank you for all the folks that have come to the service to provide support for my beautiful children.  

Thank you for the new friends that I have met these past few years that have given me strength when Derek got sick and seemed to be getting worse

Thank you for those who knew Derek through different associations that supported and loved him when he needed it most.

And especially want to say thank you to Derek who was a loving father, and a strong influence to many.

When I first met Derek, we didn't like each other much.  I was a young professional woman who wanted to prove to the world that women are more than just pretty things with no brains and we could succeed.  Our first few words were very sharp and I didn't take any of his crap and wanted to prove that I too could play a role in the corporate world.  We exchanged a few disparaging comments to each other – Derek later called it “repartee” but it was fun to play with his head, as he was known as the guy that didn't play games, he told everyone the truth whether it hurt or not.  

But, Derek saw something in me that even I did not know I possessed. He admired my drive, my passion to get things done, and he believed in me.  So, before we were romantically involved, he took it upon himself to help me succeed – and I would never have gone as far as I did without his support and encouragement.   

I remember being a new “manager” and part of a team to develop a product in which he wrote the Strategic Marketing Plan which got Raytheon to fund a development which was the largest in its history.  I saw him work through the difficult implementations and political maneuverings that were so astonishing.  He never let up.  His attention to detail and his critical eye deemed him as being “abrasive”.  I didn't see him as “abrasive” I always saw him as being incredible and talented.

When I went to get my MBA at Boston College, I was working full time and it was very challenging to juggle work with school.  He helped me write an essay for my Marketing Strategy class.  Bear in mind he wrote a Marketing Strategy Plan for Raytheon which funded one of their largest projects.  When I got a B- on the report, he was so angry he was about to let the professor know what a jerk he was – but I talked him out of it. 

To be continued .....



I can remember him grousing during a meeting about the design of some ‘motherboard' and the Program Manager said:  “well since you Brits don't celebrate during Thanksgiving, perhaps you can review the design” where Derek immediately responded with; “We celebrate Thanksgiving on the 4th of July”.

We progressed to having our first child, Phillip and two years later, Katrina.  He was so mesmerized with both of them, I am sure it completely changed him.  When they were both babies, he once said to me that “Phillip is going to be so incredibly talented with his knowledge of math”.  And, sure enough Phil graduated with a degree in applied Mathematics at NJIT – and Derek was so proud.   At two months old, he looked at his little girl, Katrina, and told me that” she would be elegant, beautiful, and classy and a movie star”.   He was a prophet.   I guess he knew more than all we know.  He was so proud of both of his children.

Being British, he did need to adjust to the American way of life.  I can remember one Halloween when I was taking night classes at BC and he was home alone.  The doorbell rang and he saw some children in costume.  They shouted “trick or treat” and he was completely clueless what was going on.  When the kids explained that he needed to give them a treat or they would trick him, he said “if I give you each 5$ would you go away?”  So he proceeded to pay them and he turned off the lights and hid in the bedroom until I got home.

He was also known for a terrible temper.  When he worked at Cap Gemini, he got so fed up with his computer, he decided to throw in out his door and it smashed against the wall.  His co-workers said nothing, but his boss dropped by and simply said “I hear it isn't safe to walk past your door”.

Anyway - I just wanted to say Thank You Derek.  Life was never boring with you around.  And, I am sure that in Heaven you are already letting folks know what needs to change and how to make it right.  Kick A** and Take Names!

K.K., Phil and Katrina, my thoughts are with you and my deepest sympathy on your loss.

I will miss my son in law, and will always have fond memories of him.  I wish there could be something I could do to make things easier for you, Karen, and the children.  I saw a "nice" side to Derek that wasn't always visable unless you knew him well, and had won his good regard.  I do know he loved his children and had a strong place in his heart for his wife and friends.  I know we all will miss him, and know he will remain in our memory banks always showing his very good side.  May he find contentment and joy in his after life, as he looks over those he dearly loved.

Karen, Katrina, and Phillip, I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my deepest heartfelt sympathy.

Derek was my brother in law and friend.  He was a groomsman in our wedding, and afterward drove back to New Jersey from Tennessee with two extra kids and one extra mother in law in the car.  He did this so that Leigh Ann and I could have a few days honeymoon.

Prior to that, I remember attending a conference in New York City.  I stayed with Karen and Derek, and rode the train and subway into and out of Manhattan for a few days.  Derek was always hard to keep up with, but when you channeled Derek's intensity with a time deadline overlaid with train schedules and seas of people, attending the conference became so much less interesting than the trip there and back.

I'm thankful for the memories and the times we shared.  May he rest in peace.

KK, Katrina and Phil,
Whoever you hold in the heart of you
Is forever and always a part of you.
We send you our deepest sympathy and prayers.
Love always,

Karen and Family,
Our thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
Mike & Lucy Phillips

Dear Karen and family, 

Steve and I send you our deepest sympathy.  Derek's character shines in his greatest legacy - each of you.  May you find comfort and consolation with each other. 
Your friends,

My dear friend Karen I am so sorry for your loss. Words cant help change anything but hopefully they can give you and your children some peace. You were there for him when he needed you. You have a wonderful heart, God bless you and your family during this difficult time. My deepest condolences, with love and prayers....Chuckie

Dear Karen, Katrina, and Phillip,
Please accept our heartfelt sympathy and know that Derek will always be with you.
Much love,
Kathy & Rod Bates

Derek & I worked together between 1973 and 1988.The last three years we were in New York City where we started up the US arm of our UK operation which implemented trading room systems for the financial markets. 
Our dealings with the major financial institutions required a comprehensive understanding of both the user requirements and also the technical elements of the systems that were developing at a rapid rate at that time. Derek always demonstrated a comprehensive ability to handle these and to be able to discuss details at all levels.
It would be unrealistic to say that working with Derek was always a pleasure. He was a strong minded individual, and did not suffer fools gladly. There was a distinct change for the better in some of the more dogmatic aspects of his character after he and Karen were married and especially after the arrival of Phillip and Katrina, but working with him was never dull. Furthermore we had many enjoyable times during those three years and when I track some of my old pictures down I will post them here too. In particular there was one memorable occasion when after the hurricane in 1986 we decided to have lunch at the Bridge Street Café, the only other people in the restaurant were mayor Koch, his chief of police and several other senior city officials. We realised that the worst of the hurricane was behind us.

It can be so hard to face the first year without your loved one, but the love of family and friends can carry you through.

AVIS DE DÉCÈS

Derek Albert Bowden

15 avril 1933 – 20 décembre 2014

D'Elia Funeral Home

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