Mary Veszely

Mary (Majnarich) Veszely suffered a major stroke in 2016 that required institutional care in a wheelchair for the next seven years until, mercifully, she died. She was skin and bones and beset with bed sores. Although she was heavily sedated, she cried out in pain when touched.

Yet during most of those seven years she was happy. I purchased a van with a lift and I could take her home for a meal or to the park. There we watched little yellow goslings become Canada Geese. I saw her every day until COVID did us part. She was hoping to recover, evidence to the contrary be damned! She was well liked by patients and staff alike at Ridgeview. Years went by.

At the time of her death she was nearly deaf and blind and dementia took over a part of her brain, yet she recognized us until the end and retained the character we called Mary. She was self-aware.

Mary was a particularly caring person, who measured her self-worth in the service of others. It was tragic that she found herself in a position when she could not even help herself. The strong sense of independence she maintained all her life did not help. “I am worthless,” she whispered to me. She knew she was loved, but it was not enough.

She was a noble person and a dreamer. Loving, but never mushy. A strong mother and one of the best aunts on the planet. An arch enemy of germs, she cleaned a lot. She tended her flowers (loved the little ones!) and baked her own bread, 36 loaves at a time.

She was a true coal miner’s daughter. She liked to keep her distance as a person. If you got too close you found yourself with quills in your nose. And you’d better not criticize her!

Mary was a woman ahead of her time and more than spunky. She delayed marrying and committing to a family until the last minute. She traveled in Europe and hitchhiked to Vancouver with a friend at a time when hitchhiking for women was a taboo. She was still ahead of her time at the end of her life, when she declared “enough is enough,” and wanted to die.

Mary was predeceased by sisters Manda (George Hodge) and Danica (Dean Vinnell).

She is mourned by her husband Frank and daughter Laurel, brother Paul and his family Michael and Steffany (Patrick), nieces and nephews Donna (Larry), Gary (Betty-Anne) of Manda and their families; Richard (Noriko), Robin (Alan) and their family, Bradley (Nada) and their family, descendants of Danica. Also great nieces and nephews and their children, spanning four generations.

Peace be with you, Mary!

There will be a celebration of her life at an Open House on her birthday on July 3, 2024 at our home (2290 Linfield Drive, Kamloops, B.C. V1S 0B8), starting at 2 p. m.. Little flowers only!