Dr. Bernard Geffner

It is with tremendous sadness that we announce the peaceful passing of Dr. Bernard "Bernie" Geffner. He was just 3 months shy of his 95th birthday when he passed on October 4th 2022. He was born in Brooklyn on January 29th 1928 to Isaac and Bessie Geffner. He was the youngest of 4 siblings; Gussie, Molly, and Jack. He married Eileen Gardian in 1952. They shared 61 wonderful years together and two daughters. He enjoyed his career as a Doctor of Podiatric medicine until he retired. His retirement was filled with family, travel, gardening, tennis, swimming, bicycling, Bridge, and many other activities.

He is preceded in death by his wife Eileen and their eldest daughter Rochelle.

He is survived by his daughter Barby and her two children Jessica and Stuart. As well as, his son in law Ed and his two children Andrew and Paul.

He was a devoted grandfather, father, husband, doctor, and friend. He will be greatly missed and will live on forever in our memories and our hearts.

Throughout his life from his first heart attack at 50 to the end, the doctors and nurses of St. Francis Hospital in Port Washington NY took excellent care of him. Please make any donations in his honor to St. Francis so they can continue providing remarkable care.

In remembering my Dad, Bernie Geffner, so many different things come to mind. He was the baby of 4 siblings, and my Grandma Bessie was often busy in the grocery store; so my Aunt Molly loved and cared for him like a mom. He was always a bit of a smart aleck. My Mom Eileen told us about a time grandma Bessie was called in to school because my Dad was disruptive. He finished his work quickly, and would talk to others. Grandma Bessie told the teacher to give him more work so he would be too busy to bother anyone.

My Dad and his older brother Jack had many similarities- there was a strong family resemblance, both had full heads of white hair, and they had good senses of humor. They were very close, and the families spent holidays and traveled together often. They both had a Depression Era mentality, and liked a bargain. There’s a funny story about how each brother- 1 in Brooklyn and 1 on Long Island, managed to find “Skinner’s Raisin Bran” a cheap knock off - brand of cereal. My sister Rochelle and cousin Sharon were complaining because it was terrible, yet the Geffner boys were thrilled with their purchase! The Geffner Grandfathers got a big kick out of my son Stuart, and Bonnie’s Henry both being born on Dec 30th, 1991- on opposite ends of the country! After Uncle Jack followed his children to Calif., they still spoke on the phone every Saturday well into their 90’s. The only difficulty was when they were both hard of hearing!

One of my favorite stories about my father had to do with a trip to Florida when I was a little girl. We went to a hotel in Miami for a seder and there were giant floral centerpieces on the tables. It ran very late and I was tired, so my Mom said if I behaved I could take home the flowers ( I loved flowers as I still do today). I stayed quiet and was carrying the arrangement out proudly when a large man grabbed them from me- I began crying profusely and Dad asked the man quietly to make an exception, but one lone flower was all I got because they needed them for the 2nd Seder. My Dad returned home that trip ahead of my birthday because he had to go back to work. On my birthday, there’s a knock at the hotel door- he sent me my 1st ever dozen long stem roses which were so beautiful! I carried a plastic bag of the petals home on the plane to show him what they meant to me.

He was a man full of contradictions. He was impeteous and explosive, yet passionate and gentle. He was stubborn and difficult, yet understanding and supportive. He was flawed, but a strong powerful figure. He was the life of the party, rocking out at “simchas”, and telling great travel stories and jokes. He was a man who had no use for pretense, designer names, or statusy things. His brand was going to be called Irreg. for irregular. He saved money hunting bargains so he could splurge on the people he loved. He was positive and optimistic, yet met challenges head-on. He’s probably the only man who drove home from work in Brooklyn to sit at the kitchen table in North Woodmere, and tell my Mom he thought he was having a heart attack (which he was). He loved being a podiatrist because he had awful feet himself. I learned his patients really loved and appreciated him when I worked in his office and saw the thank you notes. When years ago he had a detached retina and we thought he could lose his sight, there was no self-pity- it was just “if I can’t be a podiatrist I’ll be something else”. He had a big infectious personality, but often talked without thinking it through and not always used the best language(as my Mom said “you could take the boy out of Brooklyn, but not Brooklyn out of the boy").

In court during my divorce my Dad wanted to come to keep me company. I explained the judge is strict and you can only speak when he allows it, even if people are not being honest. It took him 5 minutes of squirming in his chair before the judge threw him out! I suggested watching my kids might be an easier way for him to help me. There was a time my blood pressure was very high and couldn’t be controlled, and my Drs. wanted me to take a stress test. He flew home from Florida just to go to the appointment with me. At my parent’s surprise 50th anniversary party, he came in holding big packages of toilet paper because he was buying it on sale for my sister and I, and delivering it. As one of his nephews said “he was a stand-up guy”- always helping and caring to all, especially his family. Many of our friend’s children called him”Grandpa Bernie”.

He retired early but had so many hobbies, he was just as busy in retirement. He used to audit classes at Nassau Community College, and use the pool to swim. When his bad knees stopped his tennis, he took up golf. He was an avid gardener giving away extras to neighbors. In his Life Care Community the Amsterdam, he started a vegetable gardening group, picking the vegetables for some of the other members. My Dad did art and played cards, exercised, and biked. He was honest and anonymously charitable. He was always trying new things, and challenging himself. I was worried about saying too much, but there was a lot of life packed into those almost 95 years. It’s hard to not feel sad because I miss him already, but I feel grateful he had such a long and successful life, more than he ever imagined, and that he made such strong impressions on so many people. Unfortunately my childhood family is all gone now, but I’ll take comfort in knowing they are watching over us, while they are lovingly arguing!

-Barby Geffner

First off I’d like to thank you all for coming & those of you for joining us via the stream.

I’d also like to thank everyone who reached out in any # of ways for all of the kind words & support.

I’ve dreaded this day for as long as I can remember…& not just for the obvious reasons it represents, but because there are no words that could ever describe just how much my grandfather meant to our family, & how truly extraordinary the life he led was. He was so much more than just my grandfather; he was my father figure, my mentor, my coach, & my biggest supporter.

On top of that, I never wanted to accept that this day would really come, because to me, my grandpa was proof that superheroes were real.

He was the most selfless person I’ve ever known, & always put his family & friends first. On several occasions, whether he was in the hospital for routine defibrillator maintenance or a major surgery, he always made a point to ask me how I was doing & feeling. He paid no mind to the challenges ahead of him.

He constantly encouraged us to try new things (often various food items in exchange for a nickel), offering support every step of the way.

He taught us perspective & gratitude; when we would try to complain about having to walk to school he would be there to remind us he had to walk uphill. If we had to walk uphill as well, he had to walk uphill both ways. He could always one-up us & famously once said something along the lines of “if you guys didn’t have shoes, then I didn’t have feet.”

He taught us about loyalty & showed us how to care for the ones we love most. He was always there for sports games, dance recitals, school projects & any & everything in between. When my grandmother Eileen, (his wife of 61 beautiful years) was having medical difficulties, he would spend every single day with her, despite often having to walk very long distances (particularly for a man of his age) just to get over to see her. Often these walks would include him carrying her bag or purse, which he never once complained about or was too proud to do.

When she eventually passed in 2013, I happened to be hosting a radio show at my college. I decided to pay tribute to her on-air & played Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton in her honor. Afterwards, when discussing it with Grandpa I asked him, “what song should I play for you one day?”

Without a moment's hesitation he simply replied - My Way - Frank Sinatra

I couldn’t think of a more perfect representation for how my grandpa lived each & every day of his life, than the lyrics to that song. He was determined & stubborn (likely to a fault) but he did things his way & lived on his terms.

Lastly, in the summer of 2014 he had a stroke & we were fearful of the worst. After a day or 2 of non-responsiveness my mom received a call that she had to come see him. Somehow he had willed himself back from the brink. When we asked him to explain what he was thinking & how this was possible; in the epitome of classic Bernie Geffner fashion he told us “I thought to myself, I’ve got stuff to do, I don’t have time for this shit.”

Grandpa, my greatest hope for you is that you are at peace, reunited with Grandma & Rochelle (& your other loved ones) & that you have nothing but time to continue doing all the things you loved, that had become more difficult over the passing years. You are the inspiration for everything that I do & my greatest aspiration is to become a fraction of the man that you were & to live a life like you led.

Thank you for everything Grandpa, I miss you more than I can fathom, but I promise to make you proud, & even though you’re no longer with us, your memory will live on in our hearts forever.

I love you.

-Stuart Azrikan

It has been an arduous few months and I had a lot of trouble writing this. I'm not sure why since I have endless wonderful memories with my grandpa.

Perhaps it's because he was such a force and it's always been said "Geffner men are so strong" that I never expected to actually get here. When talking about my grandpa people would always say they don't make them like that anymore, and it's true.

He was his own breed; strong willed, vigorous, and even difficult.

He showed me how you can wholly love a person despite their flaws. He was stern and independent but endless in his devotion to his family. He always told me I was his favorite granddaughter. I never questioned his love and dedication to me. He taught me to be strong and resolute but still caring, generous, and kind.

He was more than a father figure to me. I owe him, my grandma, and my mother everything I have and everything I am.

My grandparents were so interwoven into my life that I think I lost a piece of myself when he passed. That's ok, I'm comforted knowing he took that piece with him to grandma and Rochelle. I know he's with them and all the other family and friends doing all his favorite activities with no limitations. I love you grandpa.

-Jessica Azrikan