Tatijane Whatley

September 21, 1996 – May 4, 2023

Again, thank you everyone for joining us to honor and celebrate the life of our beautiful Tatijane.

Tatijane was born on September 21, 1996. We often joked that she chose this day because she didn’t want to miss a party; it was our parents’ anniversary. From the second she was born Tatijane captured our hearts. She was special, and Stephanie wasn’t going to let Tatijane out of her sight. She stayed awake for the 2 days they were in the hospital. Through thick and thin the two of them have always stuck together, an eternal bond that cannot be broken.

Tatijane enjoyed life and had many talents. She looked forward to spending time with family, friends, and her cat Leo. She especially loved watching movies while snuggling in bed with her mom and, of course, Mr. Leo. When Tatijana was young, she would dance with her Opa. She loved to dance and to sing. At 5, she and her dance team tapped their way to state championship. And, when Disney talent scouts came to Sacramento, Tatijane auditioned. Her energetic talent shined as she sang and danced. The Disney scouts really liked her, and probably would have picked her, had she actually chosen a Disney song to present…but, as you know, Tatijane had a style all her own. Tatijane’s many artistic talents also included drawing, painting, and glass art. Her favorite medium was photography. She preferred black and white film with digital processing. In more recent years, she found herself on the other side of the lens with her videos and her not so secret blogs. She thought deeply and was a gifted writer. Amongst other talents, was Tatijane’s knack to taste and smell a dish, then go home and replicate it. Tatijane found joy in cooking and baking for others. Her cupcakes were always a special treat.

Tatijane took advantage of every opportunity to dip her toes in the water. At my parents’ house, our little mermaid would somehow “accidently” fall into the pool. This happened often. In high school, Tatijane joined the swim team and swam varsity. It was in high school where Tatijane found her passion for working with special needs students.

Tatijane graduated from Bella Vista in 2015. She then went on to American River College where she graduated with an Associate in Science, Early Childhood Education. She was also certified as a Special Needs Specialist, and Early Childhood Education-Associate Teacher. Following American River, Tatijane transferred to California State University of Sacramento. Her goal was to become an independent living skills teacher, specializing in moderate to severe disabilities. While attending school full time, Tatijane worked for the San Juan Unified School District as a Child Development Assistant and a Substitute Instructional Assistant II and III, working specifically with special needs children. She loved her job and students. As busy as she was, Tatijane maintained her status on the Dean’s List. Tatijane was so proud of what she had accomplished, and was close to graduating when she was diagnosed with a rare form of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, B and T cells. School needed to be put on hold.

Throughout Tatijane’s treatment, she remained the storm. She was a trailblazer lighting the path for others to follow. The first to have Double Car T Therapy, and later, various clinical trials. Her goal was to help others. She often said that her cancer was a curse and a gift. She knew that it could take her someday, but was comforted by the fact that she was making a difference, advancing research and cures for patients now and in the future. “… as long as I can help save someone else,” she would say.

Tatijane was outgoing and had an ability to connect with others. She had a light that could brighten anyone’s day. Knowing how difficult treatment could be, Tatijane welcomed everyone into her hospital room. She even drew and colored pictures for other patients, just to put a smile on their face, and let them know that she cared and was there for them. During one of Tatijane’s hospital stays, the daughters of the patient in the room next to her gave her a beautiful flower arrangement, and said, “Thank you so much for all of your positive energy. It has helped our father in his healing process.” This warmed Tatijane’s heart. It made her happy to know that she was helping someone. She said that that one event made her entire stay even more amazing and that she just couldn’t find the words to fully express her happiness. She continued illuminating the world around her. While at Stanford, she worked with the Adolescent and Young Adult Cancer program to organize virtual games nights and social visits. She was also given the opportunity to help support and reassure others going through similar treatments. This brought her much joy. She said that the many friends she made along the way helped her as much as she helped them. When she was told she could no longer be a special needs teacher, Tatijane regrouped and decided that she would major in psychology. She wanted to become a therapist for patients dealing with cancer, and on the side, help those with disabilities work on social skills.

Tatijane was blessed to have compassionate people in her life: her family and friends; her bone marrow donor; blood and platelet donors; those trailblazers before her; and her medical team. Tatijane always said she has the absolute best care team and staff, and felt a great bond with all the doctors and staff that assisted in her care. She loved making the staff and care team laugh, especially with her assortment of pasties and paper bedazzled strippers stuck on medical poles. She had the upmost respect and love for Dr. Law and Dr. Muffly. She was so grateful for their endless hours of research in trying to find a cure, or at least a way to provide some quality of life. Their love and care gave us two more years with our Tatijane. We are forever thankful.

Tatijane was beauty, others basking in her warmth, finding roots, and growing strong. Her radiance emitted messages of positivity, with rays of sunshine opening up dialogue, renewed energy, friendship, and hope.

We love you Tatijane, but as Mark Slaughter said,

Now you’ve got to fly (fly high)

Fly to the angels

Heaven awaits your heart

You will be missed; but your light shines on.

* * * * * * * * * *

Tatijane Whatley, passed away on Thursday, May 4, 2023. Some lives are so bright that even after they have been turned off, they continue to shine.

Cina's Speech:

Hello. For those of you who don’t know, I am Christina, or Cina as Tatijana refers to me as. I am her cousin, although we were more like sisters, and were best friends. We had a special bond that started with her being only an hour or two old, when she wrapped her little hand around my finger. Public speaking is not my thing. So, me being up here just shows our special bond.

I was always told Tatijana looked up to me, but for years now I looked up to her. Her ability to see the good in everyone, forgiving those that probably didn’t deserve it, the courage and bravery she had throughout her life, especially over the last two years, her ability to comfort those who needed it, and her caring nature for animals and people are just some of the things that I love and admire about her. Today I would like to share some stories and additional characteristics that I loved about her and that made Tatijana, who she is.

Tatijana was always adventurous. She was always willing to try new foods, meet new people, try new things like a starting a blog, and going to new and fun places. After seeing Peter Pan, she decided she was going to go on an adventure to Neverland, and to get there of course … you have to fly. So she found a ladder, and jumped off… She was missing one crucial element though…the pixie dust. Needless to say she could not fly, but it was nothing 6-8 weeks in a cast couldn’t mend.

She was always bold. Trying new hobbies, auditioning, and trying new looks. As a toddler, Tatijana decided she was going to cut her bangs… herself….and with cuticle scissors… she cut them to about a ¼ of an inch, and was so proud of them and that she did it her herself. She rocked those bangs for about a year and half until they grew out.

She was crafty and creative. She made art throughout her life. I was fortunate enough to receive some of her art over the years and my favorite is a rock painted green and yellow, my favorite colors, that she signed and made over twenty years ago. I use it as a door stop for my craft room. I recently told her how much I love this rock, and that it is one of my most prized possessions, and is one of the things I would grab in a fire. She looked at me like I was crazy, like she often did, and laughed and said, “I’m glad you like it, but it’s a painted rock.”

She was resourceful and clever. One day, she was playing with Joe Vasquez hide the dice. Where one of them would hide a smaller than normal dice, and the other had to look for it. So Joe went and Tatijana found it. It was then her turn to hide the dice. She said, “I know where I can hide it!” Joe closed his eyes and Tatijana hid it. He looked everywhere for this little dice, and couldn’t find it. He finally said, “ok, you win show me where it is.” She started to pick her nose, and he said don’t do that. She said, “I have to that’s where I hid the dice.” The more she tried to get it out, the further up it went...One emergency room visit later, and the dice had been removed and she had won the game.

She was a food connoisseur. Tatijana had her favorite meals and restaurants and almost always had a craving for something. She squirreled away things that she especially liked like the rice krispy treats and sherbet from the hospital. She was always willing to try new foods and drinks and even had her own specialty drink at her favorite little coffee shop. We had a yearly tradition of making gingerbread houses. Tatijana would always eat more of the frosting and decorations then made it on her house. There was another time that I was helping her with math homework. She wasn’t understanding how to subtract, so I pulled out the cherrios, and took some away, and boy once it related to food, she sure got it quick.

She was a music lover. It might have had to do with all of the music her mom played while she was in her belly, or the fact that it ran in her blood. Tatijana listened to just about every genre. Her favorite was singer, Jesse McCartney. She was actually able to have a zoom call with him. In getting ready for the call she planned out, as she loved to do, how she was going to do her makeup and her hair that day, because she of course had to look, “extra hot”, she said. And on the actual day she got to have a zoom call with him, it was her absolute favorite day. It meant so much to her. So, thank you Taylor for making that happen.

She was a bed hog. There were countless sleepovers we had where I would be up most of the night. Not because we stayed up all night, but because she would sprawl across the bed, leaving me with a sliver to sleep. And somehow she would always find her way next to my ear while she was snoring.

Tatijana was strong. Right after Tatijana was born, not even an hour old, she grabbed the side of the plastic bed that they put babies in after they are born, and flipped herself over. Foreshadowing just how strong she could be.

Tatijana was an Ocean Lover and Mermaid. For years my parents, Aunt Stephanie, and Tatijana and I would take a yearly trip to camp on the beach near Fort Bragg. The first time Tatijana went, she was very young, around 2, I would say and she loved everything about the ocean. I think this was about the time she decided that she was a mermaid. She loved the water, looking at the sea animals, and playing in the sand that trip. I believe there was more sand in her hair and diaper then in our campsite that trip.

Tatijana was a Disney Lover. She watched so many Disney movies, and took many trips to Disney with friends and family over the years. I was fortunate enough to of gone with her this last November for a special girls trip. This trip included, a stop at Tommy’s Burgers, which she ranted and raved about and I have to tell you, it was worth the stop. It was delicious. Getting stuck in an elevator, 2 high speed chases, being on a live stream, trying churros, getting soaked in the rain and at splash mountain, and riding all of the rides in both parks, some of them multiple times. It was one of the most fun trips I have ever been on, and something that I will always cherish.

She was comforting, and compassionate. Tatijana always asked others, “How is your day going?” no matter how bad her day had been, and she really wanted to know. She listened and comforted those in her support group, and in life up until the end. There were many times that she comforted me like when she would say I was all hyphy, or we will just say… ranting loudly about something that I was really upset about. She had a way of making me feel better and calming me down, and as some of you know this is a feat in and of itself.

Tatijana was lovable. She had a great personality and was very open minded. She loved her family and friends, animals, and loved helping people and being kind to them. She told me many times, that she wanted to help people and make a difference in the world, and when I responded with, “You have. You know that right?” she said to me, “I know but, it doesn’t seem like enough.” But based on how many people are here today, and the lives she touched and continues to touch directly and indirectly. She did exactly what she wanted to do….she made a big difference in this world, and I know that she sees that today, and just how much she is loved by you all and me. Thank you. Weave squared forever.

She is gone

You can shed tears that she is gone

Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her

Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone

Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what she would want: smile,

open your eyes, love and go on.

Bug

From the day you entered so care and free 

What a wonderful child how could it be

Your spans so far and wide

Your unselfishness will never die

You brought joy and hope to so many

With your positive outlook that came aplenty

We thank you for the time we had 

Our time with you was totally rad

So here we are honoring you today

Sending you our love in every way

Mommy

Stephanie Bahr