Happy Valentine’s Day mama the other day I saw your face I was so happy I love u soon we will dance together

Teresa, I'm really sorry we lost touch the last two years of your life. Your raised me from the time I was a baby until middle school. You really were my mom when my real mother wasnt there. I'm sorry I was so mean to you during my middle school years, it was a phase that I thank fully grew out of. I wish you could see me now, in college, and I bet you wont believe I even got to intern for Hillary Clinton during her 2016 campaign in Brooklyn, New York. I think of lessons you taught me every day. I'm so sorry I wasnt there in the end. I'm really upset with myself for that, but I was young and dumb, and you live and learn. I really did love you Teresa, you were my mommy. Thank you for what you did for me. I wouldn't be the person who I am today without you. If heaven is real, I know you're there, and I hope you are at peace, and have no more pain, hurt or misery. You deserve eternal happiness. It's not fair that I'm still here and you're not, but I really do hope there is a heaven where you are in pure bliss. I miss you so much. I'm so sorry again. Love, Cecily.

Hello mama another year over it wasn't any easier I still miss you ... I did good mama I stayed busy dancing I dance for you everyday. I miss you so much and I can't wait to see you again.

Hello mama time keeps moving forward but the pain never leaves I love you so much and think of you each day today is the first day of summer so find some time to dance. Give Bobby my love

Although we never met, you must have led a wonderful life to have a daughter as sweet as Chela. Rest in Peace.

Happy Birthday Mama, i waited weeks for his day to come only to find myself sitting alone, not wanting the world to know my pain.... i told you Happy Birthday as soon as i awoke, then laughed i wondered if you heard me...

hello mama i hope you are well... Did you hear me talking to you when i go for my walks, i really needed you last week more than ever and it pained me that i couldnt call you..Carmen called me and i guess it was just like you, but i still havent gotten use to be gone.. I love you mama... I have been having such bad dreams and the elders took your rocks away for my own good.  I am so stuck in beleiving that some how i can wish you back...i put on your glasses today i love seeing through your eyes.. i miss ya mama and i am hoping to go to the temple and babtize you i know you accepted the gospel while you were on earth..I just wish Sil would send me your book of mormon...  well if you dont want this let me know/ i love you

Hello Mama, my heart had been aching as today is June the first. Your first year away is drawing nearer.. I thought what would I do this is where i keep in touch with you. This where i share all my joys and pains. Soon this site would close.. God is good i was able to keep your site open and they said forever just like my love for you..Somehow i feel you can read these messages, Know that I love you and need you so much still.. I treasure you, all you did and all you still do in my life you will never be gone only skyward//i love you mama

Memorial Day and today i remember you. Howyou taught me to be aproud American.  Respect honor duty, How much you loved to have a picnic and your delicious food. I remember how proud you were when you becamea citizen and all that you sacrficed so i could be born inthe wonderful country called America.. I remember how frightend you were of water in shallow water, how you allmost drowned to cross that river to freedom. Iremember you teaching me right from wrong and i thank you for allowing me to attend church and be close to God.  I will never forget the many letters you sent me on my first deployment to Iraq when i was so scared and how i missed you so much.  I still have that cross you gave me it hangs in my tent here in Afganistan where i still serve proudly and where i still honor your true name.  I still pray for you every morning  but i dont think you need my prayers now i guess i do it for me.. so momma one year is allmost here, and i fight the tears just thinking about it. I will never forget the night iran across the desert when i got the word that you were leaving this earth. Or how it felt when my heart was ripped from my very soul.. its 0230 and they just played taps so i ran to listen just now.. oh mama i love you so i always will forever you are in my heart

Mothers day i arose thinking of you, knowing i would not call you, i would not sing to you like i always did. no I love yous today. I did not allow myself to cry.  I did not want to feel that pain, the pain of my loss of you.. I often wonder if you can see me?, are you proud of me?, do you miss me as much as i miss you?.. I wonder if my pain will ever lessen? Mama I hope your happy, I pray your with your mother. I hope youve had a chance to talk to Jesus, sit at his feet, and I wonder if you have wings? I love you Mama I love you more now in death than I did when you were on earth. My only regret will be that I didnt have enough time with you, but I would never wish you back, for I know in Heaven you are happy.. Regardless of my needs I would never deny you peace.. Stay near me, watch over me and Mama most of all. Never Stop Loving me.

Your daughter is such a wonderful person. You  have to be looking down and know what a wonderful Mother you  are.

GOOD MORNING MAMA, I CRIED YESTERDAY THINKING HOW I CANT CALL YOU TODAY.. I THINK OF ALL THE PARITES YOU GAVE ME AND THOSE COWBOY BOOTS YOU BOUGHT ME EVEN THOUGH YOU COULDNT AFFORD THEM JUST CAUSE I CRIED. I THINK OF THOSE DELICIOUS DINNERS YOU MADE ME. I REMEMBER YOUR SMILE WHEN I WOULD OPEN MY GIFTS.I REMEMBER YOU CRIED ON MY 19TH BIRTHDAY CAUSE YOU KNEW DAYS LATER I WAS LEAVING FOR BOOT CAMP. YOUR BABY WAS GROWN UP.. THIS IS MY FIRST BIRTHDAY WITHOUT YOU..NO GIFTS WILL EVER BRING THE JOY YOU DID .. NO CAKE OR PARTY WILL EVER REPLACE THE SMILE YOU GAVE ME. I GUESS TODAY I MUST ADMIT YOUR GONNA WHAT I WOULDNT DO FOR JUST ONE MORE BIRTHDAY KISS FROM YOUI MISS YOU MAMA

DEAR MOMMA. I WOKE UP THINKING OF YOU I DUSTED OFF YOUR PICTURES AND CLEANED YOUR GLASSES. I TALKED TO YOU LIKE I ALWAYS DO.. THEN I TRIED TO LOOK AT YOUR PICTURES AND I FELL APART. I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG. YET EACH DAY ONLY MAKES ME MISS YOU MORE.. I STILL HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER IN MY CELL PHONE JUST THE THOUGHT OF REMOVING PAINS MY VERY SOUL.. THAT WOULD BE TO FINAL.. SOMETIMES WHEN I GO TO CONTACT YOUR NUMBER JUST POPS UP WITHOUT ME ASKING FOR IT..  MOMMA I AM GOOD MY HEART ACHES BUT I THINK IT IS BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN SCARRED FROM YOU BEING RIPPED FROM ME. LIKE MY BELLY BUTTON SCAR..LOL.. WHEN I WAS RIPPED FROM YOU.. I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU MOMMA NEVER BUT TELL ME HOW DO I LET GO

Happy Valentines day mama. I went home for a month to see the girls for annas birthday.. we went to los vegas and i was so xcited when the girls arrived they were so pretty i wanted to call you and tell you how happy we were then i remembered you were gone.. funny how i keep forgetting.. well yesterday i got the news tht your brother antonio decided to join you and grandma.. i creid at first how i cried.. then i stopped.  gloria says hes with you...this made me happy. very very happy.. i thought wow how you must have been so happy to see him.. i love you mama,, no i will never forget you. i will never stop loving you and i will never stop talking to you.. your my angel now so get ready you got a big job ahead of you..

hello momma well its new years eve here in iraq the land of lost and i just wanted you to know i made it through Christmas but i have to admit it wasnt easy.. i smiled through my tears knowing i wasnt going to be able to call you.. well i also cleaned my room and did all my laundry and threw out all the trash just like you taught me.. start the year fresh. sometimes i make jokes about you like i do with grandma but iam only laughing on the outside.. soon i will be returning to america but only for a vacation then back in the sandbox for another year.. i am sure oneday i will go home but not yet.. well i hope you are doing good up there with your family soon we will all be together soon enough momma but oh how i miss you now..my love to God and baby jesus.but mostly my love to you

hello mama, well yesterday was 12 09 10 six months since you left me.. i look at the plane ticket i used when i came home to say goodbye to you..silly i know but i carry with me every where i go.. like some how i can turn back time. i still think of you each day. yesterday i thought, wow your really gone.. i fought back the tears. i keep your rocks in a glass filled with holy water just like i think you would have.  i wonder what will Christmas be like this year. i want to be strong i made it through your birthday and thanksgiving with a brave face and smile. today i really miss you i think i will go for a walk this afternoon so we can talk,  i walk alone alot now, it comforters me in some strange way me under the stars so you can see me.  i knew one day you would leave i just didnt think it would be while i was so far away.  maybe you chose this time so i would have to face my worse fears alone so i could be strong, so i could know that i could do it by myself that is something you would do. that is so much like you. i love you mama i hope you see me everynight i hope you are proud of me.

Rest in peace, and feel the love Chela and all your loved ones have for your sweet memory Sherrill Berdan.

November 09 2011 Hello Mama, well five months have gone by now. I decided it was time to face the music and accept that you are gone.. Easier said then done.  Worse thing of all is that in the morning it will be your birthday.  This will be the first time in my life that you are not around. I have been telling myself that I will be fine, its your birthday afterall and I am sure you will be rejoicing with your mama and brothers and Jesus and the angels.. I am sure you will be all dressed up and excited.. I have asked all my friends and our family to light a candle for you so when you look down you will see us celebrating for you..I will sing to you mama out in the open sky. I will sing so loud even the angels will hear me.  I love you mama i love you more now than when you were here on earth, I love you so much and I will never stop loving you.

hi mama, well its october 09 2010 4 months since the day you left me. yesterday was real hard for me because the 8th was the day i pleaded that you not leave.  today well its the day you became my angel it is not as hard as the 8th for me.. so many people keep saying that my pain will feel lighter, but so far this is untrue.  each morning i kneel beside your pictures i touch your glasses i fill your cup of water that holds your rocks, one of grandmas and my two unlces. i say the rosary for you, i ask God to protect you. i look up and wonder if you are watching me.. everyday mama it has been no easier.  i lay on my bed and i cry when i am alone. then i dress and i put on my smile. i smile so no one can see my pain..i wonder how the world can continue without you.. today i thought if only i could go to heaven too and be with you and my grandma how happy we would be.  i wonder how long must i stay here on earth and why if everything i love is not here. yes i have the girls and family here but only you know what it is like to suffer only you loved me from the begining like God. and only you can comfort me now. i miss you mama with all my soul..

hello mama, well today i found myself missing you alot.  i left you a banana next to your things incase you got hungry today.. i guess you wsnt cause its still there, guess i will eat it.. silly i know but i didnt have any oranges.  i know you would understand. so it only took me all this time to open up your photo gallery. its hard you know. i looked at all your pictures and what a flood of feelings over came me. momma i dont think i will ever get use to this infact i was sad to see the date this book will close.  i wish it would always be here for me to write you.  today when i woke up and told you good morning i waited in hopes you would answer me,, for now i can still hear your voice. i dream of you alot.. its my little comfort. i am no longer mad at God but i am sad about you leaving.  i knew you would eventually, but crazy me i thought i would go first.  now out here in Iraq i wonder why oh why momma were you in such a hurry to leave.  you must have known how much i still needed you.  the plans i had when this big war ended i planned to take you up for a flight to show you i was someone you could be proud of.. if you ask me it wasnt your time, you left so many behind wishin you were still here.. i had so much to still share so many stories untold. so many i love yous unspoken, i will never forget how at karens wedding you combed my hair, i felt five years old.  i know that no matter how much i beg cry or plead you will never come back to me, only in my dreams, only in my dreams....

HI MOMMA I SURE HAVE BEEN THINKING OF YOU YESTERDAY WAS 0909 THREE MONTHS SINCE YOU LEFT ME. SOMETIME I TRY TO IMAGINE YOU ARE HERE WITH ME. MANY TIMES WE WALK AND TALK TOGETHER. LIKE LAST MONTH WHEN I WENT TO AMERICA AND I WORE YOUR SHOES HOME. YOU BRING ME SO MUCH COMFORT.  I HAVE YOUR LITTLE JACKET HER WITH ME IT HANGS AT THE FOOT OF MY BED. SOMETIMES I WEAR IT, I THOUGHT I LOST IT AND STARTED TO PANIC I SEARCHED EVERY WHERE FOR IT THEN OUT OF NOWHERE IT REAPPEARED.. MAYBE YOU NEEDED IT MAYBE YOU WERE COLD.  I TRY NOT TO CRY I TRY TO HOLD ON TO YOUR MEMORY I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VOICE. I CAN STILL SMELL YOU DONT WORRY YOU ALWAYS SMELLED GOOD.  I DREAMT OF YOU LAST NIGHT YOU WERE GIVING ME ALL YOUR SILVERWARE, I AM NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANT BUT I WAS HAPPY JUST TO SEE YOU. I SEE YOU EVERY TIME I LOOK IN THE MIRROR.  I SAW SILVIA THE OTHER DAY AND SHE SAID I LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU WHEN I HAD MY GLASSES ON.. OH YEAH I GOT YOUR GLASSES WITH ME TOO.  IF I COULDHAVE ONE WISH I WOULD WISH YOU BACK. I DONT KNOW WHY YOU LEFT I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT I STILL NEEDED YOU

Mama i got a message you had recieved a letter from someone and it made me wonder, up there in heaven how do they tell you that you got mail. do they come tell you look come see some one is writing you right now and you get to peek into our world.. like now. if so hello Mama. So i am back in America and i cried on that flight home cause i knew there is only one last flight that will take me to you, and as of yet i do not hold a ticket.  So when i got here you were here waiting for me just like Sil promised. i got you in that little wodden box i had sent you from my first time in Iraq. it held a perfume bottle who would have ever thought as i picked it that hot sweaty day that one day you would fit in it just like a geanie. I miss you and un like the rest of them who say they said goodbye to you, i never well i refuse to let you go mama they said i should so you can finally be at peace but how do i let you go when i still need you so much

Grandma,
i thought about you the other day. i guess i never really accepted your passing. i thought that it was all a dream. then it hit me. you were gone. i went to call you, but i realized your number was deleted from my phone. i miss your voice. i miss your stories. what id give to have one more day, one more hour, with you. miss you, love you even more. .... till we meet again!

hello mama well I am in Ballad Iraq waiting to get to qatar which will get me to America. I have your shoes on i know how much you love traveling. i went to the chapel today and talked to God finally I hadnt spoken to him since you left me to be with him.  I cried alot but hey wont dont I,, i told him I WASNT MAD THAT HE NEEDED YOU MORE THAN I DO. I needed to do that because this pain has been torturing me. God said that are still with me and in death you can always be with me, my private special angel, only now I get to do all the talking.  I miss you mama. with each day that passes you are closer to me than in life, I will never let you go, for me yu will always be here never forgotten.

hello my sweet mother, well i am getting ready to go home. when i went to america the last time it was to say good bye to you it was painful. Now i feel the same pain only you wont be there.  I took a few ofyour saints and some of your rocks and i made a nice little place in the corner of my room.  i took your glasses and i look out of them every once in a while.  i cried today when i knew i was leaving you here alone in my room. so i am leaving flying bear to take care of you he will sit at your feet. oh mama i miss you. later i will send you a picture ofyour corner, silly me i guess you can allready see it

hey momma well i hope your doing fine, silly i guess why wouldnt you be, your in Heaven.  oh momma, its so hard sometimes, sometimes i just miss you so much, its hard for me, i cant talk to anyone, i am suppose to be  getting over this, but how do i get over you? oh momma, ever since i got the word you took ill well that day i begged God not to take you, i ran crying down the road ."please God no not my momma" but my words fell on silent ears he took you anyway.  well since that day i have refused to talk to God, no i am not mad at him at all just disalusioned all my life i thought if i prayed hard enough he would always be there for me.  so tell me momma tell me how i get over this, you know how i always called you at crazy hours of the night, well you can come talk to me when ever you like i have been waiting ever since you left me,and momma i miss you

momma hello i wondersometimes if you hear me, if you see me, if you are watching over me, i so wanted to take you flying, show you i had acomplished something. but look at you now you are flying all on your own. you earned your wings without any help from me.. me momma i will continue to fly and with each flight i make i will look for you in the clouds, i love this life you gave me i will never forget that from i recieved my first breath, but i will rejoice at the day when finally we will fly together just like i promised you.. see ya then mama on the other side  te amo

Grandma,

how beautiful smile lives forever on in my heart, along in the many hearts of others that you have touched. you will never be forgotten! we love you and miss you even more! meet you in my dreams. <3

Love you Mom.  May you be at peace knowing that your life was full of joy.  We will all be with you one day...and when we meet again I want you to let me know what you were always smiling about. Love you Rob

i wonder how long this pain will follow me, today i kept looking for you, listening hard incase you were speaking to me, hardly any of my friends spoke to me today, they are scared they will make me cry, but what they dont know is i am crying inside. my only peace my only comfort is if i want to see you again i must continue this life, and one day i will see you on the other side. i cant wait to see ya te amo for all eternity

Chela, 

Mothers are angels upon this earth to guide us through thick and thin. Your beloved mother Teresa was one of these angels who stood beside you throughout the years. She will be sadly missed, but her gestures of caring, goodwill, and kindness will be part of your spirit now as you go forward in your life. My deepest sympathy for your loss of your mother.  I appreciate her for giving you live because you are one of the treasures in my life.

Love,

Bee

I may not have met you, but I do know that you must have been an incredible woman to raise such a fantastic daughter. I know that you must be so proud of her, Lord knows that I am. I hope you know that no matter where Chela is, she will always have people looking out for her and loving her.

mama you always had candle burning for me, now it is my turn to burn one for you, oh mama i love you still i will never stop loving you i tookyour shoes so ican have always walking with me

AVIS DE DÉCÈS

Teresa G. Vazquez

10 novembre 1944 – 9 juin 2010

Sparkman-Crane Funeral Home

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