Darren Anthony Townsend

Darren entered into peace, no doubt accompanied by so many loving angels, after taking his own life on April 18, 2019 at the age of 45. Darren was known to many as a fun-loving smart ass who was often the life of the party. If you were in his circle, he was fierce in loving you and considered you to be family. His life was touched by so many, and he never could fully comprehend just how loved he was. In the end, he succumbed to his battle with mental health, which had plagued him throughout his life but had intensified over the last several months.

Darren is survived by his wife, Karen, who was his high school sweetheart; his daughter, Peyton (11); his parents, Sandra Seabolt and Ronald Townsend; his sister, Deanna Lavoie (Ken); his parents-in-law, Pamala Lee (Larry) and Duane Taylor (Barb); his siblings-in-law, Kristi Black (Stuart); Karla Carcamo; and Ricky Taylor (Ronda); 17 nieces and nephews; 2 great nieces and nephews; and countless friends, whom he considered to be family. Darren is preceded in death by his sister, Lynette Zuckerman.

Darren was born and raised in Colorado - a rare native! He and Karen would have celebrated 27 years of marriage this year in July. He worked as the Athletic Equipment Manager at the Colorado School of Mines, where he had worked for the past 15 years. Darren loved universities and enjoyed the pursuit of higher education. He held an undergraduate degree from Metropolitan State College; a graduate degree from the University of Northern Colorado; a graduate certificate from Kansas State University; and was in pursuit of another graduate program through the University of Denver and Arizona State University.

Darren will be greatly missed.

Darren Anthony Townsend

June 7, 1973 – April 18, 2019

Eulogized by Karen Townsend

April 27, 2019;

I’m going to try to tell you Darren’s story to the best of my ability – I’m not going to give you the resume version – I’m going to give you the version of the man I knew and loved; the person I’ve spent the majority of my life with. My dad put it perfectly when we were exchanging messages after Darren’s passing – it wasn’t always chocolates and roses, but no one’s life is.

Darren and I met when we were in high school. He actually had a thing for my younger sister, Kristi. They used to play basketball together, and he sat behind her in class and always loved the way her hair smelled. She had a boyfriend and just liked him as a friend, so when I got dumped the day of homecoming my junior year and I called her from my friend’s house, where I was getting ready, to cry about it, she said, “Call Darren. I’m pretty sure he isn’t doing anything. He’ll take you!” When I called him to ask if he’d take me, he responded with a concern over what he was going to wear but agreed to take me. And that’s where our love story began.

We knew him by many names – D, D-funk, D-town, Saturday Night Darren, and sometimes we called him things we can’t say in a church!

Darren had a few different personalities – Let’s first talk about how much of an inappropriate goofball he was! Darren was an introvert and was as quiet as a church mouse when I’d drag him to work events or when he was in an unfamiliar situation with people he didn’t know. But once he knew you – the real Darren came out, and as we like to say, that’s when he took it to the next level. He was often highly inappropriate and didn’t have much of a filter. You knew you were loved by Darren if he farted around you, talked pooping and farting with you, cracked inappropriate jokes, grabbed your butt or kissed you – and he didn’t discriminate – he’d grab you and kiss you whether you were male for female! His favorite person to do that to was his best friend, Harry because he knew he hated it, and that it made him uncomfortable, so he’d go out of his way to hug him and kiss him whenever the mood struck him – just to get the reaction!

Darren loved to get people all riled up on a topic – he’d start a conversation, find the hot buttons, make a comment that would get people pinned against each other by saying things he may or may not have believed to be true – and then he’d just sit back and watch the banter.

When he was a kid, he enjoyed driving his parents crazy – he had a love for the heater. He’d crank it up to 80 degrees, curl up on a heat register with a blanket and fall asleep. They’d wake up in the middle of the night sweating to death, only to find him crashed out like that. He passed that fetish on to Peyton – they had a space heater that they shared. Every day of the year, no matter the season, you’d find him curled up somewhere with the heater and a blanket. And he drove his mother crazy with his antics; he thought it was just the best thing ever to de-pants her and run off to another room because he knew she couldn’t run after him in that state.

At family holiday gatherings, he was our entertainment – he had his own cowbell for the family band; he sometimes stripped down to his underwear and danced; he said all the wrong things all the wrong times; he made up words to the songs he didn’t know; and he made everyone laugh until we couldn’t laugh anymore.

Darren was the biggest kid in the neighborhood. I remember when we bought our first home in Highlands Ranch, he was the one all the kids wanted to play with. The boys next door used to ring the doorbell and ask, “Can Darren come out and play?” He’d spend hours in the back yard, in the street or at the park throwing the football with them or coaching them on their baseball skills. Darren was not known for his patience, but when it came to playing sports, it was incredible to watch how patient he was with the kids. It was a passion for him! He spent countless hours playing football, softball and basketball with the neighborhood kids and with his nieces and nephews. I’m sure his parents remember the hours he spent shooting hoops in the driveway at their house growing up. He loved going to his sister’s house and playing basketball with his brother-in-law and nephew – and we had a notorious basketball game with me, my sister and my niece in our cul-de-sac several years ago – my poor sister got stuck with me on her team; Darren and Shelbi kicked our butts, but it wasn’t even about that – we laughed so hard and had so much fun that we can still think about it and immediately break out in laughter.

Sports brought a lot of joy to Darren’s life – so much so that he worked in college athletics. He did his internship at the Air Force Academy and got to work around some amazing individuals there, including Fisher DeBerry, whom he looked up to and admired as a coach – it was special to him that he got to work there in one of DeBerry’s last seasons as head coach. He loved Air Force football; CU football; and so many other college teams. He had an extensive collection of memorabilia that he acquired over the years. He’d buy, sell and trade to obtain some of his most desired pieces. He enjoyed showing off his collection and spent a lot of time in his happy place – his sport’s room in the basement. Darren loved being an equipment manager – he had it down to a science and ran a very tight operation – the boys from those first several seasons will forever have a place in Darren’s heart – he loved seeing them come back in recent years – it never got old hearing them greet him with a, “Hey, D-Town!”

Peyton is our daughter because of Darren – many of you know our adoption story – we were married for 14 years when we decided to adopt her, and up until that point, I didn’t know if we’d ever have children. We got married really young, and I always wanted kids. Darren wasn’t so sure. I reached a point in our marriage that I started praying for one of two things to happen – I either wanted to feel a peace in my life without children of my own in it – or I wanted it placed on Darren’s heart that we should have children. I’m so glad God answered my prayers with the answer he sent – he softened Darren’s heart and placed adoption in our path. Peyton was meant to be our daughter – she’s the perfect crazy mix of both of us – she could not be more ours if she were our biological daughter! He imparted some of his warped sense of humor on her. They enjoyed talking about farts together; they loved watching prison shows together – and one of their favorite shows to watch was Naked and Afraid. He was always joked about the fact that he wasn’t the model parent – two of Peyton and Darren’s favorite movies were Ted 2 and the new Vacation – highly inappropriate for children, but that was the beauty in Darren – he didn’t care, and the two of them had a unique relationship with each other. I have so many Peyton and Darren stories that I wouldn’t even know where to start!

Because Darren was such a fun-loving individual, his death comes as a shock to most of you. I want to be completely transparent about Darren’s struggle with mental illness – he struggled his entire life – I don’t know what more could have done to help him. But what I do know is that he was loved – more than he could have ever imagined – that is apparent by the number of people sitting here today in this chapel – I just wish he could have UNDERSTOOD that in life. He heard the words many of you spoke to him, but he never truly understood how genuine the words and feelings were.

Darren always struggled with depression to some extent. He never thought he was good enough, successful enough, or smart enough. He always compared himself to others and never believed he was worthy of the things in life that he desired. He went off his meds last summer because he was, for the first time in his life, completely content and felt he didn’t want to be tied to a pill every day. Unbeknownst to everyone, including me, he went off his meds. He took a little bit of a downward turn last fall. That’s when I discovered he wasn’t taking anything at all. He worked with physicians to get back on his medication but was struggling somewhat to find the right combination. Somewhere around the end of January, he started sleeping 24/7 – slept nonstop for about two weeks, and then he started to not sleep at all. That’s when he fell into the deepest depression of his life. I’d never seen him fall so low in our 28+ years together. He started to become desperate to feel better. He worked with a psychologist to dial in on the right medication to help him. It was a daily struggle for him – In the end, not much brought Darren joy, and he ultimately decided he could not go on – not one more hour feeling this way. It was more than he could handle. I know he is at peace – he no longer has to live with his daily struggle to find joy and happiness in life. We are the ones left behind to find a new normal and try to comprehend the impact he left on everyone’s lives.

Let’s focus on and remember the positive – let’s do for Darren what he could not do for himself – let’s talk about the good times and the wonderful traits he did have; the things we all knew and loved him for. I hope each of you were able to grab a “Prayer Card” on your way in – rather than printing a poem or a scripture or a sappy verse, I decided to memorialize his personality. Darren loved quoting his favorite movies, so I chose several quotes from a few of his favorite movies. I hope you’ll remember THAT Darren!

To Darren’s parents, I want you to know how sorry I am that you’re burying another child – no parent should have to experience that. It breaks my heart. I love both of you so much, and I thank you for being so wonderful to me over the years. He loved you – you worked relentlessly to give him a better childhood than you had. You spoiled him and supported his love for sports, and you never stopped loving him. I’m thankful for you in my life.

To Deanna, I want you to know how sorry I am that you are now the only sibling, but you won’t be getting rid of me. I have a confession to make – when Darren and I were first married, I was always jealous of how much he looked up to you and went to you for advice on EVERYTHING! I felt like we couldn’t make a decision without first having him consult you. Thanks for being the big sister he looked up to – I’m so glad I have a friend in you! I know your baby brother cannot be replaced, but Peyton and I aren’t going anywhere.

To my parents and to my hilbilly family – thank you for loving and accepting “City” into the family. The one thing we could always laugh about were the poop and fart stories – he fit in perfectly from that perspective! He was just the right amount of wrong to appreciate that! My family loved it when Darren cleaned out his closet because they’d get all his hand-me-downs – He’s outfitted them many times over throughout the years – I know they’ll all miss his semi-annual clean-out! Mom and dad – thank you in particular for loving Darren like one of your own. I hope you know you both held a special place in his heart. To my siblings – thanks for taking care of your big sis!

To all of our nieces and nephews – I hope you know how much he loved each of you – and you probably don’t remember, but his favorite was holding each of you as babies – he absolutely loved scooping you up and holding you for hours on end when you were babies, and then when you were old enough, he made it his personal mission to mess up all the right things your parents were trying to teach you! He took pride in teaching you some of his favorite words and getting you to say them!

To all of our closest friends, – thank you so much for your love and patience – It is clear that he had more love and support than he could every truly see. Thank you for being a part of our village!

And, finally – to my baby girl – Peyton, I hope you know how much your daddy loved you – you were his little angel, and now he’s your angel. He’s looking down upon you, and I know he’ll be right there with you in your heart, guiding you through life. All you have to do is ask for him, and he’ll be there.

Darren is at peace, and that brings me great comfort. My heart is full of gratitude knowing that he is finally released from his pain and suffering. Peyton and I are ready to face our new normal together, whatever that looks like. And we have Darren looking down on us – finally whole. I hope that you can all find peace and comfort in knowing that we are and will be okay. And whether you like it or not, you’re all part of our village, and we’re going to need you! We are truly blessed with the most wonderful village! Thank you all for being here for me, for Peyton, for our families, and for each other through this difficult time.