Barbara E. Gray

The Honorable Barbara E. Gray passed away on March 28, 2014 surrounded by her family. Born in New York City, the only child of a fervent Republican father and closet Democrat mother, Barbara was truly a mixture of both parents. She began her political career as a Republican and finished as a leader within Massachusetts the Democratic Party. She was a forerunner for women legislators in the Massachusetts General Court.

In college, she was particularly proud of leading the “Schwiffenpoofs”, a women’s a cappella group. She enjoyed singing and merrymaking even in her final days. After graduating from Connecticut College in 1948, she attended Oxford Institute of International Education in England and later in life earned a Master’s of Public Administration from Western New England College. Upon returning from England, she married Richard Gray and moved to Framingham, Massachusetts. She formed the Framingham League of Woman Voters in 1955 and was later elected to the Planning Board and appointed to the Metropolitan Area Planning Council.

Gray’s election in 1972 as State Representative for Framingham with the Republican Party came about in part because as she said “the Republicans were the liberal party of the day”. Former Speaker Charles Flaherty called her “the best Democrat we’ve ever had in the Republican party”. Upon her appointment to the powerful House Ways and Means committee as a Republican, she remarked that “it seemed like they stayed up all night and did very little, I thought I could do that”.

She displayed characteristic political savvy as she gracefully worked around any opposition. She was a survivor. In one primary fight, as she lost the race to a fellow Republican, her constituents wrote in her name in the Democratic primary. As the Democratic nominee she went on to defeat the Republican opponent in the general election. She took this in stride, “I always won both primaries anyway as well as the Independent vote, as a write-in”. From that point on she remained a tireless Democrat, but with a goal to “never take myself too seriously, but to always take my work seriously”.

Barbara was devoted to her constituents in Framingham and remarked “God bless the people of Framingham for sending me to Beacon Hill term after term. It was an excellent adventure in Massachusetts politics”. She was a constant presence at the polls, community meetings, newspaper offices, building sites, neighborhood events, church fairs and women’s groups. She was instrumental in conserving public lands such as Callahan State Park, and in starting advocacy organizations, particularly WIN and Advocates, Inc. in Framingham. She was well known to town employees, and was a lifelong supporter of the work of police and fire departments.

At the State House, she embraced women’s issues such as domestic violence, no fault divorce and prisoners’ rights; public safety issues like seat belt and motorcycle helmet laws; and environmental issues such as recycling, the clean water act, land conservation, scenic roads and the rivers bill. She was also the original sponsor of gay rights legislation (named ‘a bill relative to the rights of certain persons’) following the assassination of Harvey Milk in 1978. Her public legislative effort moved Massachusetts to the forefront of the gay rights movement nationwide. Her mantra was that we should be a society protective of women, children and men. David Magnani, a former state senator from Framingham, said “they’d have to expand the Statehouse library to hold all her legislative bills, the rest will need to be stored in Shea Stadium”. She proudly served under five different governors before retiring from the legislature in 1996.

In 1979, she bought property in Wellfleet. With her second husband Norman E. Gardner she moved from Framingham to Wellfleet after leaving the State House. Barbara made a habit of never saying the word “retire”. In Wellfleet, Barbara recycled herself onto the Planning Board as chair, the Local Comprehensive Planning Committee, the Local Comprehensive Implementation Committee, the Health Care Campus Committee, the Community Preservation Committee and the Charter Review Committee. As a neighborhood and community organizer, she was active in the effort to restore the Pond Hill Schoolhouse as a community building, and also in preserving wildlife habitat (especially for turtles & oysters), local trails, paths and scenic highways. She was Founder and Vice-President of Friends of the Herring River and President of the Forum Board. She also served on the Library Board and the Lower Cape Access TV Board. She became a passionate supporter of the arts. In both her Framingham and Wellfleet homes, she hosted holidays and gatherings, including Norm’s daughters Sara and Becky, and their spouses and children in the widening circle.

Barbara has been described by U.S. Senator Edward Markey as having “the energy of a teenager with the wisdom of a grandmother”. Former Congressman Barney Frank wrote that she was “the Holy Pest of Good Causes and an advocate for things before they became popular”.

Barbara was always looking for an adventure in her personal life as well. She traveled extensively throughout the world; highlighted by a trip to Africa with Norm where they stayed overnight in a tree house. She was an avid sailor for over 60 years with many forays bare boating in the Virgin Islands with a host of friends.

Her engaging nature was designed to get others involved whether through listening, inclusion or arm twisting. Many people recall her “asking 20 questions” because she wanted to understand people and find areas of common ground with each person she met. She was passionate about mentoring and took great delight in getting people involved at any level and in any way, while emphasizing the need to have fun doing it. Ira Wood, former chair of the Wellfleet Board of Selectmen, and Barney Frank, among several others, described her as a visionary, able to see needs of future generations before their time. These qualities made her not only an effective legislator but a unique woman. In 2002, Gray wrote a book chronicling her career through the State House years called A Woman’s Ways and Means, centered on what is was like to be a female legislator in the Massachusetts statehouse in the last half of the 20th century.

Caroline Stouffer, her legislative colleague may have summed her up best:

She wafts through the House like a soft gentle breeze

We used to call her the “Eminence Grise”

Zoning and divorce law were her claims to fame

And now on the Cape widespread is her name

Barbara was really a Democrat at heart

Always “one of us” but she never could part

With that Republican tag oh thank god that is past

And as she once said “now I’m free, free at last”

Barbara was born in 1926, the only daughter of the late Gerald M. Gantz and Marcella (Beck) Gantz of Manhattan, New York and Sarasota, Florida. When she became a grandmother she took on the name “BG”. She is survived by her three daughters, Linda Gray and her husband David Healy of Vermont, Nancy Gray of California, Suzanne Gray and her husband Curt Felix of New Hampshire and Wellfleet, and a son, John Gray and his wife Kimberlea Gray of California, three grandsons, Devin and Bryce Healy, and Alexander Summers, along with her beloved dog, Molly Oh!. Norman E. Gardner predeceased Barbara in May, 2004. A celebration of her life will be planned in Wellfleet this spring. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Barbara’s name to Wellfleet Conservation Trust, PO Box 84, Wellfleet, MA 02667 or www.wellfleetconservationtrust.org or Advocates, Incorporated at www.advocatesinc.org.