Joseph F. Carrasco, Jr.,70, died on July 8, 2019. He is survived by his wife Patricia; two daughters, Stephanie (Anthony) Loscalzo and Pamela (Enrico) LoCascio; a sister Maryann (Andrew) Scalera; a sister-in-law Diane (Brian) Scanlon; brother-in-law John Campanelli; five grandchildren EJ, Annalise, Anthony, Joseph and Lila; as well as many nieces and nephews. Funeral from Casey Funeral Home, Castleton Corners, Mass Friday 9:30AM St. Teresa’s Church, interment Moravian Cemetery. Friends will be received Wednesday 7-9 PM and Thursday 4-8 PM.
A Eulogy to My Brother-In-Law Joe
It was just a couple of weeks ago when Diane and I were having dinner with Joe and Patricia that I told Joe I was putting together my Bucket List. I asked Joe if he had a Bucket List. He said “yes, I will get it and show it to you”. He went into his bedroom and came back and handed me a blank piece of paper. He said he had done everything in life that he wanted to do. This should come as no surprise to any of us. It is an understatement to say that Joe lived life to the fullest.
Joe identified his purpose in life at an early age. That purpose was to entertain and bring happiness to everyone that had the privilege of being in his company. Joe had various nicknames that reflect the many roles he played in our lives. Throughout his life he was affectionately referred to as “Junior” by his family and friends that grew up with him. To the Scalera children he was “Uncle Junior.” To the Scanlon and Campanelli children he was “Uncle Joe”. At his favorite hangout, the Surf Club, he was widely known by everyone as “Joe the Cop”. When he was entertaining us at parties and special occasions during the Elvis era he was “Joe the King”. Those that were impressed with his full head of jet black hair, (whether natural or dyed!) would refer to him as “Joe Bouff”. But the nicknames he most cherished were those his 5 grandchildren gave him including; “Papa”, or ”Pop” or “Papa Joe”. Joe’s love for E. J., Annalise, Anthony, Joe and Lila was unconditional and he sincerely loved them all equally. While Joe wanted his grandchildren to thrive at their many sports and activities, unlike many of us critical dads, he never dwelled on how well they performed. Rather, he just wanted them to “enjoy everything”. Joe loved and cared about Brian and Megan in the same way. I am so grateful they each had their own personal relationships with Uncle Joe.
Over the 45 years that I was so fortunate to have “a Brother from another Mother” Joe and I shared many cigars and glasses of wine in our back yards. We used those personal moments to address our concerns and problems. We vented and complained to each other mostly about “trivial” things, but we also discussed those things we were grateful for. Joe often expressed to me how he knew he was blessed to have married Patricia. He recognized and greatly appreciated, as do we all, that simply put, she is an “extraordinary person” in every way.
Joe was “so proud” of Stephanie and Pam and he would say “not just because they are both pretty like me”. When he spoke about his daughters he would often become very emotional. He would say that although Stephanie and Pam were different in many ways, both were loving daughters, wives and mothers.
Joe was not a typical father-in-law. Like all fathers- in- law he could be critical of his sons–in –law! However, I can say without any reservation, he deeply loved Anthony and Rico. They were two of his best friends and he told me he was very content knowing that both of them would always take care of his daughters and grandchildren.
Joe loved attention! But not because he was conceited or egotistical. He wanted your attention so that he could turn it around and entertain you. For a guy that was the most handsome man in every room he ever walked into, NEVER did you hear Joe brag about himself! Joe’s happiness was truly measured by how happy he could make you. He believed it was his “responsibility” to make sure that you were enjoying yourself whenever you were in his company. And as we all know, we expected Joe to “get the party going”. Whether it was family or friends hosting a party, holiday, or special occasion, Joe was expected to “run the show”. It would start with Joe buying a “new outfit” for each and every occasion. Literally, 2 months before Annalise’s Graduation Party, Joe wanted to know what I was going to wear. I think my choice in attire often disappointed him. Next, he would ask us which songs we wanted him to sing. I found this ironic since he always sang the same 4 songs: Elvis- Suspicious Minds, Neil Diamond – Sweet Caroline, Tom Jones – It’s Not Unusual and Ricky Martin- Livin La Vida Loca. Recently, he added the song Shallow, since he was obsessed with Lady Gaga and more so with Bradley Cooper! As Stephanie said the other day in trying to lighten the moment, “Our parties are going to suck now!”
Thanksgiving Weekend is particularly special to our extended Family. It’s many traditions started decades ago when the Carrasco, Scalera and Campanelli families were joined together. Today it is “the holiday” that we all make sure we celebrate together. And while the menu is vast with the same exact food items every year, Joe and Diane actually schedule a day, months in advance, to go over their “lists”. Diane will always try to slip in a new dish and Joe will respectfully nix it. Joe would never allow you to break tradition. And of course the highlight food item is always Aunt Margie’s stuffing which Joe made every year. In fact, two years ago Megan actually filmed Joe making the stuffing, which Joe took very seriously. Of course, he bought a new outfit to wear for the video, including a professional style apron. Four hours later, after many retakes, we now have a video to pass down to the next generation.
For Joe, eating meals was a major social event. If you were going to spend a day with Joe, the night before he would call you and ask you where you wanted to go for breakfast the next day. Immediately after breakfast, he would ask “Where do you want to go for lunch?” During lunch he would ask you “where do you want to go for dinner?” However, Joe ALWAYS chose the restaurant for dinner. He would respectfully ask you for a suggestion but tactfully sway you to the Italian restaurant he really wanted to go to. I would often suggest a restaurant I knew he would reject just to irritate him a bit.
Joe had strong convictions of right and wrong. He was proud of his Catholic faith and often told biblical stories to his grandchildren. However, these stories would include a comical “Joe Carrasco flair” that portrayed the stories in a manner that did not “exactly” send the intended message of the proverb. While Patricia would have preferred Joe to attend church more consistently, Joe said he and God had a “special arrangement.” I don’t doubt it.
I can only hope heaven is ready for Joe Carrasco. I am sure Smitty, Georgie and some of the other West Brighton crew are preparing the welcoming celebration for Joe. They better stock up on Barolo and Marie Brizard!
While Joe has left an irreplaceable void in our close Family, we will make him proud as we move forward together in his honor. God bless you Joe.
I love You Always,
Brian
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