Dr. Gary Richard Gruber, PhD

Born in Brooklyn, New York on November 19, 1940 to Edward Carlton Gruber and Martha Groff. Dr. Gary Richard Gruber, PhD, was an American theoretical physicist, educator, and author who has written many books and software programs for standardized test preparation. His work focused on test-taking and critical thinking skills with sales of more than 7 million books. His writings include the Gruber's Complete Guide series as well as books and columns of brain teaser puzzles and other articles. He also worked with schools, school districts, state departments of education and other educational organizations in the development of testing and critical thinking skills and educational motivation programs.

He graduated from Brooklyn Technical High School and obtained a bachelor's degree from the City College of New York and a master's degree in physics from Columbia University. He obtained a PhD in physics from Yeshiva University in 1969; his thesis was on The Heating of the Solar Chromosphere.

He lived in Mill Valley, California.

Dr. Gary Richard Gruber, PhD, joined his Creator on August 27, 2019, at the age of 78.

He is survived by his beloved wife Raquel, nee Cantor Andaya, his children Ian and Rachel, daughter-in-law Lori, grandson Ethan, nephews Angelo and Joseph, niece Janna, brother-in-law Adrian, sisters-in-law Michi and Hazel, and mother-in-law, Estela.

Authored by Gary’s sister-in-law, Hazel Cantor Andaya Bancroft during the Funeral Mass on September 6, 2019:

Gary was much more to us than just a brother-in-law. We loved him very much.

Our family was at the Mass at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel in Mill Valley when this guy sat next to me, which was odd because this was a big church, with only about 50 people in attendance. I moved a little to make space for this Einstein-looking man who kept smiling and giggling next to me. Father Felix would certainly disapprove of this behavior at Mass. Anyway, I was growing more concerned if the man needed help. At the end of the Mass, he smiled and introduced himself as Gary Gruber and told me he was dating my sister. That was the start of my friendship with Gary. I will never forget that big smile and have come to know the kind, dynamic, and hilarious Gary.

There is a saying, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” Gary did just that. Who would have thought you can have a career teaching test taking methods? Can you imagine how many kids he had inspired in his lifetime to take that challenge, and to make a better future for themselves, and their children’s children?

When I had my son, Joseph, I wanted him to get to know our family. That’s when we started calling him “Uncle Gary”, so my son gets used to calling him that. Uncle Gary was the star of the show, without even having to be asked. Sometimes, Gary would be very busy and he would not be able to spend time with Joseph. When we get home, Uncle Gary would be crying on the phone, apologizing to Joseph, promising that next time we come back, he will drop everything else to play. And he makes good on those promises.

Uncle Gary’s bigger than life personality and boundless energy was a big hit with my nephew Angelo, my niece Janna, and my son Joseph. The kids light up at the sight of Uncle Gary. Gary has this gift of connecting with children and encouraging kids to pursue their latest hobby by taking part in it, and giving it his own spin. I remember my niece Janna, when she was about 4 years old, she loved Dora the Explorer. We would go on afternoon walks that Uncle Gary would call a safari, with Janna happily drawing the things we see along the way. Maybe a dog transforms into an elephant, or a fountain becomes a make-believe waterfall. We even imagine the creek full of alligators and we wonder what they had for dinner. When the kids get sick or sad, a phone call from Uncle Gary makes things all better.

As the children grew up, my nephew Angelo remembers being able to talk to Uncle Gary about anything under the sun.

How we will miss Uncle Gary who may just burst out singing at the top of his lungs, playing the Third Man on the piano or, in classic Gary style, he would laugh endlessly at something funny he just thought about.

I remember one Christmas season, most of our family went home to spend Christmas in Manila, to be with our father who was diagnosed with cancer. I checked in on Gary and found out that he has no plans for Christmas. My brother Adrian and I surprised Gary with a visit on Christmas Eve, driving through pouring rain. I remember making Gary his favorite poached salmon, prime rib, steamed veggies and Ina Garten’s coconut cupcakes. No matter how simple that gathering was, it was one of my favorite Christmas memories. Catholics and a Jew sharing a meal together to celebrate Christ’s birth.

Beyond Gary’s happy façade, there is a sense of melancholy about him. Like he wants to belong. Any time you call him, he answers his phone on the first ring. And if you plan to meet with him, he talks about it endlessly. If you are late to a gathering, he will ask my sister to check up on us, if we were okay. Uncle Gary was indeed brilliant, a genius and a family man at heart. He was so grateful when you would spend time with him: a simple call, a snapshot of a fun thing you did that day, a visit.

God gave him so much. And he did his best to share that to the world. One laughter at a time, one story at a time. An encouragement, an advice, or just a listening ear.

I thank God for allowing Gary to come into our lives. Your 17 years with my sister were full of humor, generosity and love, and it radiated to the whole family. I remember your laughter and I remember seeing you cry when something truly touches your heart.

Today, it is us whose hearts are broken. We will never forget you, Uncle Gary. We love you.