Ms. Phyllis Lyon

Fearless lesbian activist icon Phyllis Lyon died peacefully at her home in San Francisco on April xx of natural causes. She was 95. Few individuals contributed more to issues impacting LGBTQ, women’s, civil rights and the rights of elder Americans than Phyllis Lyon and her partner of 58 years Del Martin. Phyllis and Del were the first same-sex couple to marry in California on June 16, 2008. Weeks later, on August 27, 2008, Del Martin died in San Francisco, with Phyllis at her side. Del was 87.

The couple’s wedding in 2008 was not their first. In 2004, when then San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom boldly determined to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples in California, Phyllis and Del agreed to be the first couple to receive such a license. Their story, 54-years together and a lifetime of love and commitment reverberated around the world. While that marriage was invalidated by the California Supreme Court, the ability to marry in 2008, meant a great deal to Phyllis. “I am devastated to lose Del, but I take some solace in knowing we were able to enjoy the ultimate rite of love and commitment before she passed.”

Phyllis Lyon was born on November 10, 1924, in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She spent her formative years in Sacramento, California and graduated from the University of California, Berkeley in 1946 with a degree in journalism. As an undergraduate she served as Editor of the legendary Daily Californian newspaper. During the 1940s, she worked as a reporter for the Chico Enterprise-Record, and during the 1950s, she worked as part of the editorial staff of two Seattle magazines.

Phyllis later worked as an administrative assistant to Reverend Cecil Williams at Glide Memorial Church. She is credited by Rev. Williams with helping him shape a more inclusive vision for Glide. Phyllis and Del were a pivotal part of Glide’s inclusivity for LGBTQ people.

Phyllis was a co-founder of the National Sex Forum where she served as a director for 19 years. She was a professor at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASAS) where she was an innovator in sex education.

Phyllis and Del met when Del joined the staff of the Seattle magazine where Phyllis was working and the two became lovers in 1952. The couple relocated to San Francisco and moved into a flat on Castro Street together on Valentine’s Day 1953.

In San Francisco, Phyllis and Del embarked on a lifelong career of activism. In 1955, along with three other lesbian couples, they co-founded the Daughters of Bilitis (DOB). DOB was the first political and social organization for lesbians in the United States. Shortly after founding DOB, the couple began publishing The Ladder, the first monthly lesbian publication focused on politics, fiction, poetry and connecting lesbians across the country. The founding of DOB and the publication of The Ladder, continuously from 1956-1972, were acts of immense political courage at a time of unchecked harassment and violence directed at “homosexuals”, largely at the hands of law enforcement and political officials.

The publication of Phyllis and Del’s book, Lesbian/Woman in 1972 changed countless lives. Many lesbians found a positive description of lesbian lives for the very first time when they discovered this book.

Phyllis and Del were the first open lesbians to join the National Organization for Women (NOW) and helped form the Council on Religion and the Homosexual (CRH) in northern California to persuade ministers to accept lesbians and gay men into churches. They pushed to decriminalize homosexuality in the late 1960s and early 1970s.

Phyllis and Del became active in San Francisco's first gay political organization, the Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club, which influenced then-mayor Dianne Feinstein to sponsor a citywide bill to outlaw employment discrimination for gays and lesbians. The two backed Nancy Pelosi when she was first elected to the House of Representatives in 1987.

In 1979 activists established Lyon-Martin Health Services named in honor of Phyllis and Del.

In 1989, the two joined Old Lesbians Organizing for Change. They were honored by the ACLU of Northern California in 1990, reflecting their decades of commitment to civil rights and civil liberties locally and nationally. Both were named delegates to the White House Conference on Aging in 1995. At that conference, they successfully lobbied to have Lesbian and Gay issues on the agenda.

Because of their historical importance and engaging personalities Phyllis and Del were featured in many documentary films. No Secret Anymore: The Times of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, tells their life story and is available on many platforms. One Wedding and a Revolution looks at the backstory of their 2004 union. Their lives and contributions were also chronicled in the award winning 2006 book Different Daughters: A History of the Daughters of Bilitis and the Rise of the Lesbian Rights Movement by Marcia M. Gallo.

The family wishes to thank the devoted caregivers and community members whose devotion and commitment gave Phyllis joy and security in her final years.

Survivors are her beloved sister Patricia Lyon, called Tricia by Phyllis, her devoted daughter, Kendra Mon and son-in-law Eugene Lane, dubbed by Phyllis an honorary lesbian, granddaughter Lorri Mon, grandson Kevin Mon, his wife Ellen and Phyllis’ great granddaughter Kexin Mon.

In addition to her family, a community of millions mourns the loss of this fierce “Lyon” who made the freedom of women and LGBTQ people her life’s work.

The family requests that gifts in honor of Phyllis be made to the Lyon-Martin Health Clinic:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/save-lyonmartin-amp-womens-community-clinic?utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer&utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet

A celebration of life honoring Phyllis is being planned.

The Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin Papers, 1924-2000, are archived at the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Historical Society in San Francisco.