Name: Chapel of the Pines
Address: Placerville, CA

Remembering a dear friend!
Carla and family

In loving memory of Jim Stanton, a mass will be said for the repose of his soul on Sunday, Jan. 28, 2018 at 7:30 A.M. at Queen of the Apostles, 4911 Moorpark Ave., San Jose.

Jim was a thoughtful and good friend of Paul Caruso and the Caruso family, Dan and Bob E. DeBarr and the DeBarr family.

He will be remembered, forever loved and deeply missed by his friends.

"Where there is sadness, joy,
Where there is injury, pardon,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned."

May peace find a place in your hearts.

Forever in our hearts,

Fran and Bob DeBarr and family

For Jim 

Maybe it was because, 
He saw things so clearly, 
(The things he held so dearly)
That he had to say Good-bye.

But I thought I heard his whisper,
Softly floating on the breeze, 
Pounding waves and sunset pleading--
      Outstretched Hands, so eager
      Voice above a laughter
      Smile beyond a beckon 
      Legs once strong and nimble
Now lifeless laying broken
Beneath a world too cruel.

"How can I please just help you?"
His voice still echoes through the night.

Laid bare by Life and Trials
He held a friend more dearly
Its bonds were never broken, the
Fog is almost lifting
Then I thought I saw him running
His wounds were bound and healing
So sweet the chords were playing
Finally his melody rising
"He's Home now. Now he's home!"

Things seem a little colder,
Dear friend and angel hidden
     Yes, the world is colder, 
      Now that you're gone.

Had the funeral service included opportunity to speak of Jim I would have liked to have shared the following.  However, I probably wouldn't have because this memory chokes me up.  I'm so glad to see Paul's lead for these postings.
I am Jimmy's Aunt Janet, affectionally known as Jauntie Anet.  A name given to me by Jim's father fifty some years ago.  Jimmy and I are only six years apart so there is a long history of memories.  What I'd like to express here though, is a regretful memory.  One that put many years of unnecessary distance between us.  
When Jim found himself in a personal crisis, as havoc has it, rumors and exaggerated tales arose.  I found myself forming a different opinion of Jim's inner character.  I believed that Jim's kind, giving, compassionate soul had deteriorated.  During that period of belief, I still took his phone calls, but I kept the chats short and refused to discuss any of these reports of character about him. 
Then, for whatever reason, three years ago, I gave Jimmy the opportunity to share his side.  I spent hours on the phone interrogating him.  Conclusion:  Along with sensible explanations and his share of exaggerations, I learned, without question, that I had judged and treated Jimmy unjustly for what mattered the most. I rediscovered Jimmy's wonderful inner soul and found that, in fact, all the while I stood standoff, Jimmy's soul was alive and active amongst his volume of friends.  
It literally brings me to tears when I think of the times Jimmy thanked me for hearing him out.  He thanked me???  So backwards.  We both would be in tears over it.  Jimmy is so forgiving and the whole ordeal actually resulted in a relationship that was stronger and deeper than ever.  I am forever grateful for that day, three years ago.  
I would have loved to have been some source of help and support for Jimmy's personal battle but regretfully my judgement of him for all those years made me unapproachable.  
I love you.  I miss you.
Jauntie Anet

I am very sorry to hear of Jim's passing.  We were very good friends during high school.  Jim cared about his friends, he was fun to be around and his smile lit up any room he was in. I wish all those he loved comfort and peace during this difficult time.

We too were sad that there wasn't a time at his funeral to share the joy that Jim brought to this world and to us! We've known Jim for nearly a quarter of a century and want his family to know he was a light that drew people to him. Like moths to a flame. He was the light in, "Salt and Light!" All of our friends loved him from the first time they met. We choose to remember him as the kind soul that he was, how he loved his aunt Claire and how he was an inspiration to us all to be better people. He kept Claire young with water pistol fights and martini toasts and she gave him purpose and the unconditional love that he so longed for. Jim you know that you do matter!!!! (Wipe tears now!)
Jim was such a giver from insisting on driving you to the airport to just calling to see how you were doing. He was a perpetual force of goodness and mischief. Let's discuss both!
Jim loved to house sit for us and one time while we were away, he noticed an antique alarm clock that was from our grandmother. It didn't work.....well Jim took care of that! Unbeknownst to us, he had it fixed and he fixed it with style! We returned home, late at night, to a house much cleaner than we left it, we fell to sleep and at around 2 am that old alarm clock went off. Total shock.....we thought it was a fire alarm. Took several minutes to find it in the house. The next day Jim asked, "Anything alarming happen to you on your trip?" That prankster!!!! We love you Jim!!! You are and will always be a great friend!

Thank you Paul for sharing & I am not surprised that he reached out to your Dad. Jim had a special gift of compassion & reaching out. He did so several times in my life. When my mother died it was Jim who helped me with the arrangements, it was Jim who sent special shirts for my Dad when he was in the nursing home & I had told him they kept losing his t-shirts. Jim had taken the logo of my Dads woodcraft company & put it on the back joking no one will take his shirts now!  A true friend is a gift to cherish & I will forever love my friend Jimmy.


Because there was no eulogy for Jim at his funeral, nor a provision for his friends and loved ones to share their memories of him, I am posting what I had prepared to say at his funeral:

I had both the honor and the privilege to have Jim as a friend, my best friend, for a quarter of a century.  He was a good man with a gentle soul, a big heart and a personality to go with it.  So, how do you winnow down all that he was into just a brief written message?  You can't.  But what I can do is tell you of one specific event that, for me, expresses a large part of who Jim was.

Jim had a real talent for remembering the special dates and events of others, be it a birthday, anniversary, graduation or even some obscure date.  He would reach out to that person, who's special day it was, by sending a card, a gift or by placing a phone call.  One such phone call that Jim placed was several years ago and it was to my dad, who at that time was in his 80's.  Now, it was not unusual for Jim to occasionally talk with my dad on the phone but on this day, when my dad answered the phone, Jim asked him Do you know what today is?  After thinking a moment my dad said No.  Jim then jogged my dad's memory by saying It's the anniversary of your ordination into the ministry.  Oh you're right. my dad replied and with that a flood of memories began to flow forth from my dad of that special day, unique only to him.  Good memories, important memories.  Jim made my dad feel happy, valued and remembered.  

When I learned of this phone call I first thought what an obscure date for anyone to remember.  But on second thought no, it made perfect sense that Jim, of all people, would remember someone else's special day  because Jim cared.  He cared and understood that this event in my dad's life, one that took place some 60 years prior, was a milestone marking the beginning of his 55 years in the ministry.  

Even in the last couple of years and despite his compromised and broken physical being, Jim continued to care for others.  He still possessed that beautiful ability to transcended self and think of others.  From his outpouring of hospitality to his guests, to stoping whatever he was doing to give you a hand, to his meticulous and loving care of his Great Aunt Claire, to that phone call he made years ago to an 80 year old retired minister.  Jim cared deeply, remembered thoughtfully and loved unconditionally.

Jim you have left a void in my very being that only you could fill.  You were unique in all the world and because of your uniqueness you were precious and rare and unfortunately, all too often, misunderstood.  

I love you Jim, always have, always will.

My name is Florence Spruance.  I was Jim's kindergarten teacher.  I have such wonderful memories of him through the years.  I have a picture of him at his Jr. High Graduation and High School graduation, both of which I attended.  My love to him and his family.  He has always had and always will have a special place in my heart.

0ur dear uncle jimmy.  You were always there with a helping hand and love! So eager to be a friend and offer your love so freely!   You will be missed and your friendship remembered and cherished forever!   God bless you!   
The Hallstroms

My dearest Jim, 
Memories of childhood fun will forever remain with the mention of your name.
Love, Terri Marsh Bailey

Our family have heavy hearts to hear of the passing of a loving friend.  We will never forget Jim's kindness, generosity and thoughtfulness.  Jim and his family will be remembered in our thoughts and prayers.  Jim will truly be missed.  Our deepest sympathy, Fran and Bob DeBarr and family

Jim and his family were a big part of my life growing up...many, many Thanksgivings and Christmases spent together. This photos was taken at our Aunt Claire's house in Redwood City where she lived with Grandma Lizzie and Grandpa Joe. At the young age of about 9 months and 3-1/2 years, Jim and I already had a special bond, awaiting the day we could "graduate" from the kids' table. I'll cherish the memories, especially Jim's sense of humor and the laughter we shared. I'm especially grateful for his love and care for Aunt Claire. I know they are at peace together.

To my fine friend Jim.

Our friendship has spanned more than 40 years.  It started during high school at Prospect, continued throughout college and endured after I left California to work in Italy. I always took comfort in the fact that you, a true friend, never left my heart. As the years passed, our correspondance via letters, postcards or telephone calls became more infrequent, but even after months of not seeing or hearing from one another, all it would take was one phone call or visit and we would pick up right from where we left off. Now, the comfort of having you as my friend, just a phone call away, is gone, so I'll  have to console myself with the comfort of having had you as a friend.

I'll never forget the myriad of good times we shared in high school and college; day tripping to Santa Cruz in your 260Z with the music blaring, our summer journey to Solvang to stay at your grandparents' house (and gorging ourselves on pea soup and too many danish pastries) or hiding in the trunk of the car with Danny and friends to see a movie at the local drive-in. These and many other fun times are etched upon my mind. I loved listening to you play the piano, or taking simple walks in the ol' neighborhood. Your visit to Italy and the trip with my wife Laura and our two girls to visit you in Folsom some years ago were especially memorable.

You possessed a heart of gold and enriched not only my life but the lives of many other people with your charm, kindness, generosity and lively spirit.  You showed a sincere interest in others and could captivate us with your humor and story telling. You were blessed with many attributes.

I'll leave you with a quote from the Wizard of Oz as he bestowed a heart to the beloved Tin Man; 

And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.

You were indeed loved by others.

Rest in peace my friend.

With gratitude, Paul

Dear Jimmy, 
You're amazing, that even in the midst of your personal battle, you maintained the wonderful, loyal, kind, helpful, and compassionate person you were raised to be.  I will forever cherish our conversations of frogs in the pond, turtles in the river bed, the hairy man that resided outside the fort, rediscovering the words to Mama, what is in the Pot Today and so much more of our young years.  Your genuine passion for being involved with people and willingness to help was extraordinary. I'm going to miss being updated on current events, discussing kitchen gadgets, comparing notes on thrift store finds and hearing your take on our Commander in Chief. Thank you for your sincere interest and thoughtful input with topics of my concern.  My heart is broken for my loss of you, but joyful that all of the appliances are pristine in your new home ; )
I love you so much.
Forever,  
Jauntie Anet  (aka Auntie Janet)

I am so very sorry to hear this.  Jim & I go back many years (I met him through my husband Jerry).  We had a lot of good times.  He used to throw great parties at his beautiful home in Folsom.  Not to mention all the times we hung out at our place!  And Tommy Ts!  He will be missed.  My heart goes out to his family.  I remember the times his parents had us over for dinner...good people.

God knew our Jimmy from the start
And prepared a place for him there;
So glad our God can read our heart
When we can't formulate a prayer

Our tongue swipes our cheek
(These are salty tears);
Life grew bleak
He was robbed of some years

Now our heart is in despair
Our fist, raised up to the air;
But our God counts it all
(Even that!) is a prayer

He welcomes our questions
He begs us to draw near;
 "Climb into My lap
Says the Collector of Tears.

More than our minds can fathom
Our hearts can always depend
On our Father's unfailing mercy
Without fail. Without end.
(For you Jim, love Nancy)

The world has truly lost a sensitive and special soul. Growing up in the same neighborhood, Jim became a dear friend to our entire family, and remained so for decades. Always helpful, thoughtful and generous, he was truly a blessing in our lives. I will miss his phone calls ~ checking in to reminisce, and to make sure all was well with everyone. Rest in peace, my friend. God bless you, Jim. 
Love,
Carla 

We lived next door the Stanton family on Blue Ridge.  I have many memories of Jimmy.  I had not spoken to him for years until my husband died at which time Jimmy called me. We caught up on over 30 years of our lives.  Please accept my deepest Condolences. Vera Stijovic Coffeen

Jim you were 5 and I was 8 when we first met, I believe. The world was a kind place for those of us fortunate to live on our street.  We had street base ball and barbies, you had GI Joe, we made front yard forts and walked on the top of fence rails.  Your dad built the worlds best club house and your family always welcomed us. Divergent paths of live opened for us, but you were never forgotten, nor will you be.

To my good friend Jim,

You are so going to be missed!  You truly have a heart of gold and would help anyone with anything at the drop of a hat.  You have brought a lot of joy into my family's life from gifts for my daughter to just hanging out on a Saturday night!  You are a beautiful soul and I am proud to have known you.  Tell God, "Hi," for me!!!  And tell Aunt Claire too!

Growing up across the street from you has so many fond memories. I always thought of you as my little brother. We played with our trolls as kids & I remember how you named your troll Georgie Porgie. Many years later you sent me a gift wrapped in tissue signed from Georgie Porgie to cheer me up after my father had passed away. I kept that paper because it made me smile. You were so thoughtful & had such a tender, but fragile heart. I will never forget you & know you were loved. Be at peace, heaven has gained an angel. God Bless you Jimmy.
Love, 
Your Big Sis Debbie

Dearest Jim, you have left us far too soon. Your quick wit, sly giggle and twinkle in your eye will not be forgotten. I learned so much from your cooking and entertaining talents. You really knew how to be a gracious and giving host! Thank you for your long suffering and enduring friendship. Mostly, I am grateful we both have a Faith in the Lord Jesus and His promise that we will be reunited and never have to say goodbye again. Until then. XO

To Jim - My dearest and best friend for all these many years.  Your heart was so big and giving, yet also so vulnerable to the hurts of this life.  Hurt no more my Jim and may you find the love that you deserve in the arms of our Creator.  All my love now and forever, until we meet again - Paul xoxo

OBITUARIO

James David Stanton

11 septiembre, 1959 – 29 diciembre, 2017

Chapel of the Pines

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