Stuart Edward Friesema

Today is my 85th birthday. Well, not exactly. My actual birthday is the 19th of November. One of the things I have learned over that span of time is that I really don't know what tomorrow is going to bring.

Sometimes the packages are fun and exciting and then there are the moments that alter and reroute us in directions we would rather avoid. So I decided that when this little piece is done I will celebrate the date of my birth immediately, not later.

This is a note of thanks for 85 interesting, at times exciting, educational, frequently inspirational years embroidered with love. Why I have chosen to write this I have no idea. Ordinarily my thoughts are very much my own and certainly of little interest to others. But I have depths of thanks to give for things that few of my age have been as fortunate to receive. First I must address my entry into these decades of existence. How does one start off a note of thanks to the person who is beyond thanks. The person who carried you for many months and then endured your not too elegant arrival. Jeanette not only endured my arrival but also a lifetime of caring and observing at a distance. I must thank Bert, Hattie (my maternal grandparents) and all their children for being my surrogate parents for 3 ½ years. Frannie, my aunt never fails to tell friends and strangers that we slept together. The year of this event is usually not mentioned until some delay. Evelyn and Jerry adopted me and gave me a home with love and opportunities beyond belief. They were my mother and father, by choice and actions. Can you imagine growing up and going to school in Grosse Pointe during the late 30's and early 40's? Few have ever had the educational, social and recreation environment that was dropped in my lap. I do believe I managed to squander more than a few opportunities but thanks to their incredible number some of them stuck.

After graduation from high school in January 1950 I arrived at Alma College three days later. Thanks to Wilson and Jean Doughty, Bob and Ruth Woods, Bill and Helen Gregory I was introduced to literature, art, music, theater and at times much needed humility. They took me in and helped thread the tapestry that was becoming my path. I cannot express in words their impact on the rest of my life. After collage and a brief stay in Chicago, living half a block from the Biograph Theater, where Dillinger famously met his end, I joined the Navy. It was that or be drafted in the Army. Riding around on a ship should be a piece of cake. Thus began the cruise of my life. Boot camp, OCS and UDT training could not help but test elements of my person I did not know existed. And test they did. Each in its own unique way. Chipping away at the raw material they tried make a man of what they had. For all the instructors who beat on me and instilled in me the desire to succeed in spite of the obstacles they purposely built in my path, I say thanks.. They are nameless at the moment, but present at any and all times that a storm arrives unexpectedly. These leaders and the men I served with were some of the best on this earth. Each had their own burdens to bear (one survived the Bataan death march) but were ready in an instant to help you bear yours when they became too heavy. The word "brothers" extends well beyond DNA.

After the Navy It was time to see if what all these people had worked on was capable of anything worthwhile. It was at this time I learned that we are continually taught by others lessons that will both help and hurt us. The important thing is that people cared enough to keep providing and guiding.

During this time I started working at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. I earned my Master's degree at UCLA and my Engineer of Electrical Engineering at USC. How else can one be more eligible for USC/UCLA football tickets without giving gobs of money? It was only years after I retired at JPL that I began to fully appreciate the incredible opportunity provided in an environment containing some of the finest technical and scientific minds in the world. Again mentors and friends reached out to help this raw English major become an engineer involved in projects and programs thrusting forward into areas we only dreamed about. It used to be called Science Fiction, now at 85 much of it is called reality. Others dream of the opportunities I had. The difference was they were no longer dreams but real threads running brightly in my tapestry. How can one say thanks to all that? The olive in my Martini was getting to travel the world, literally, and others paid the bill. First the Navy, then JPL and later the Patent and Trademark Office. Again I got to meet and learn from so many, including friends at NASA and the European Space Agency.

Along the way a beautiful and loving woman took my hand at a party, and we never let go. This paragraph is not about thanks, it is about life. It is about what really makes life worthwhile. It is about the fact that we are not one person, but we are one being. When you find that which is more important than any element within yourself and that element is coming in the form of another person, and you are overwhelmingly fortunate that that person is your life partner, you are blessed beyond thanks. We have three wonderful children. Felicia, Ed and Ana (always in that order because it is the only one that makes sense) represent not an extension of oneself but an entity that is their own. To love and be loved by these distinct persons, to watch their growth, to see their love for each other and laugh at their bad jokes, nothing, but nothing, can replace the richness they have given to both Gracia and myself. I will simply say that the rich depth in the fabric of my life comes from these four, the most important people in my life. One still holds my hand and cannot be replaced, because that one is not separate but an integral part of my being.

l used to stand in the bow of the USS boxer at sea and watch the flying fish playing in the wake of the bow spray. Off in the distance I could see the ocean horizon. It was about 20 miles away, not far. Soon we would reach it and a new horizon took its place. At 85, I think I am looking at a horizon not too far away. How many new horizons will appear I have no idea? I do know that I have to give a massive thanks to all who helped pave the way to this time in my life. I have to thank those in my life for help freely given, direction given even when it was not known that direction was needed, and understanding when it was known that understanding was needed. Then last but not least a gentle hand reaching into mine and never letting go.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.palmdowntownmortuary.com for the Friesema family.