Elizabeth Donnelly

Elizabeth (Bette) DeGraaf was born on December 19, 1927 in Long Beach, New York, to Garrit DeGraaf & Elizabeth Teichs. She grew up on Waterview Road in Island Park, New York, with her two younger siblings who predeceased her, Garrit Jr. and Joyce Ann. Although growing up as one of the original “Island Parkers,” her dad was born in Holland and his family traditions had a pronounced effect on her early years. In 1929, he built a float called the 'Pride of Rotterdam (his hometown) for a local Children’s Parade with 2 year old Bette dressed up as a little Dutch Girl next to her windmill and she wound up winning the second place silver trophy cup.

In the fall of 1946, as a Senior in Oceanside High School class of 1947, she met and started fancying Francis (Roy) Donnelly, a WWII Navy veteran from Long Beach who was learning to fly at the Island Park Seaplane base on the end of her street. On more than one occasion during school while she would be on the football field, Roy would literally fly by turning his plane sideways to buzz through the football goal posts to impress her. It worked as he wound up as her prom date in 1947 and after graduation, the couple were inseparable from one another moving forward. In 1949, she and her fiancé Roy bought a Studebaker as an early present for their pending wedding on September 24, 1950. They were wed at the Island Park United Methodist Church with a reception in Point Lookout at the Point View Inn. After honeymooning in Florida, they settled into a house in the West End of Long Beach where Bette worked as an operator for the local telephone company. In 1953, they moved into their home at 281 Madison Avenue in Harbor Isle (unincorporated hamlet on the west side of Island Park), on the same street as Roy’s brother and his family. It was here where she and Roy adopted Troy in 1965 and then Keith in 1966. They lived there until 2011 when they relocated to Houston to be near Troy, as Keith passed in 1998; a tragedy that she never truly got over. Her house was everything to her, and she spent countless years tending to her flowers and plants that she adored, as well as the numerous birds they attracted; in addition to sitting on her porch or in her bay windows for hours playing “Neighborhood Watch.”

Suffice to say, Bette loved to share life not only with her family, but also with many close and life-long friends through the years such as the Stapletons, Ravallis, Neamans, Hundleys, and Wrights to name a few. In addition, there was a friendship that started in the Korean Pavilion during the 1964 World’s Fair that brought Han Kookee into Bette’s life, as well as Kookee’s family and friends later Like her Mother Elizabeth, Bette loved to travel however the travels with her family were more focused mostly on driving to places in the Northeast to see and stay, such as Roy’s parents farm in Wyndham in the late 50s and 60s. Later in the 70s with her children, they would visit friends who were like family, such as Audrey and her god-daughter Beth in New Hampshire, or the Polkinghornes, as well as travel to California to visit Roy’s other brother and family, as her own brother and sister were already gone. As she and Roy got older, the fell in love with cruises going to numerous places on Norwegian Lines or the Big Red Boat such as Nova Scotia and Halifax. She also traveled to Europe while Troy was stationed there to visit her grandchildren as well as treks to Holland to see her Dad’s family.

On top of this there was the many years spent as one of the only Cub Scout Den Mothers (along with Arlene Senders) for the boys and their friends. There was also the very humorous side of her that came out during family gatherings or at the various clubs at the Island Park Methodist Church, as well as when joining her sons and their friends who loved to playfully tease her. This was best summed up by one of the boy’s friends, Glenn, who just this week said she was a really sweet woman who was fun to get a rise out of. He was referring to a time when her teenage boys knew she was snooping in their rooms, so they decided to plant fake marijuana cigarettes for her to find. She wound up calling her Pastor very concerned that her boys were doing “twisties.” Poor Pastor Bill could not understand what she meant by twisties, so she had to take them over to him to look at them for her. After a very quick inspection, he responded that she might want to scale back her snooping as the boys were acutely aware, since the twisties she found were only rolled up oregano. There was also the occasional word faux-pas due to a slight dyslexia that randomly occurred, such as telling her visiting sister-in-law from California how much she wanted to try that new hamburger restaurant, except the 2 syllable name Fuddruckers came out slightly different/turned around. She would sing songs to her German grandsons such as one-two buckle your shoe…..then add nine-ten Grandma is a big fat hen, just to see the boys laugh, as she always referenced Laughter is the Best Medicine, even if she made herself the punch line. Even after being diagnosed with Alzheimers, she would joke about it, and wound up telling Troy one day “you know, it SUCKS living in two worlds,” and then laughing as he sat there staring in disbelief that Mom said something sucks. She loved life and loved seeing people happy and smiling.

Bette is survived by her son Troy and daughter-in-law Karen; grandchildren Jenna/Dennis in Houston, Elaine(and husband Patrick)/Pascal(and wife Lena)/an extended Vanessa in Germany, Keith/Kevin in New York; in addition to great-grandchildren Jill/John/Zoe/Lilly in Germany and Jason/Talia in Houston.

Please consider making a donation to the Alzheimer’s Association (www.alz.org) in her memory.