Bennie Jo Wylie

Bennie Jo was a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, and a loyal friend to many. As I was organizing my thoughts to honor her memory,  I thought best done in little snapshots into her glorious 99 years.

Mother was a person who loved people, she never met a stranger. She was a woman deeply rooted in her faith and expressed her steadfast dependence on God. Mother’s wisdom, compassion, generosity, and love were evident not only to her family and friends but people she befriended in random situations.

On the lighter side, she had a quick wit and clever one-liners that would make a trial attorney’s head spin in a courtroom. Mother was sweet and caring, yet feisty and spunky, her fun-loving demeanor drew people to her.  As one of her long-time doctors said when mother was 93, “I’m not worried about her, she’s a free spirit. She’s still got her head in the game, age is just a number to her.  She’ll be fine.” 

One day mother said “seems like I just got old overnight. I used to be so frisky!” Mother was 96 and 10 months old!!! Boy, I hope that’s the first time I say those words.

Birth

Mother was the third girl born to Mamie and Bennie Smith. Her mom, Mamie, had a little spitfire personality that was passed down to Bennie Jo. At mother’s birth, her father said to Mamie that he still wanted a boy to carry on his namesake. Mamie said, “I’m done, you are not getting him from me.” Bennie Jo took her father’s name.

Mother grew up in Lufkin, her family moved to Henderson where she met Arch her high school sweetheart. They married in 1944 before daddy went overseas for World War II. Daddy returned in 1947 and finished his degree at Texas A&M. They began their newly married life in Houston where daddy was employed with the Shell Oil Company.  Much more detail can be found in the obituary in the program.

Mother and Daddy

A true love affair.  Daddy put mother on a pedestal.  Mother responded with love and support. I’m sure they had their ‘spats’ as mother would call them, but their respect for each other was genuine.  Mother told me a few years back, that when jean and I were very young kids, “your daddy as soon as he got home from work before he even took off his suit and tie, he’d play with you girls!”

As Mr. Sawyer mentioned, mother and daddy were very involved with Memorial Drive Christian Church.  Daddy was busy handling the church's books and mother teaching Sunday School or Vacation Bible School.  She loved hosting at her home church events, whether a Christmas party, a wedding, or a baby shower, mother would joyfully jump right in and organize. 

Mother and daddy loved traveling with their friends. Mother’s picture albums reflect the fun they had! They had so many adventures from the beaches in Hawaii, to dude ranches in west Texas, to historic homes in the south, and to cruises to Alaska and Canada.  And more!  

A funny story….Mother told me once as daddy was planning a trip to Hawaii, she said, “Arch I don’t want to fly, we can take a boat”….daddy with that gleam in his eye said “Bennie Jo, I’ll send you a postcard”.  Mother got on the plane. 

Mothers Sisters

Mother was close to her sisters, Laura and Mary. Throughout the years, they enjoyed their annual trip to Galveston as well as our summer trips to Lufkin, when her mom and stepdad were alive. Before we even got to Laurette’s house, she would be talking about Laurentte’s homemade picante sauce, fresh fruits, black-eyed peas, and oh yes Laura’s Deserts!  Her sister Mary always had new flowers or plants she was nurturing. Mother was amazed how Mary could grow something from a seedling. 

Those summer trips to Lufkin were so special to her. Daddy not so much, he would drop off mother, jean, and me.  I remember asking mother why is daddy going back to Houston so fast, her response was “this week is his vacation too”.

Daddy did stay a few times in Lufkin. One time that stands out the most, and I guarantee Jean Reagan, Taylor, and Lynn remember to this day was….the AC wasn’t working in my grandmother’s house, it was one of the hottest summer days …daddy said “Bennie, let’s get the kids and go to a movie to cool off”.  Jean, Reagan, Taylor, Lynn, and I were very young! The only movie playing was Alfred Hitchcock's ‘Psycho’.  That night all 5 of us kids, scared to death were in the same bed with mother and daddy on each side.  I remember my mother saying “Arch I told you that movie was a bad idea!”

Mother loved animals 

The peacocks that roamed her Nottingham Forest neighborhood would fascinate her. She loved the neighborhood dogs, we would sit on her bench in her front yard, and as soon as the dogs saw mother they would literally run up and start kissing her. Growing up, our young family moved frequently, it was not possible to have a family pet. After settling down in Houston, she got her beloved Hilda, part Daushsand part Snaunzer.  Hilda was her baby.  Mother’s namesake lives on through our pets, Jean had a dog named Wylie and I have a yellow cat named Bennie Jo.

Hobbies 

Bridge, bridge, bridge, I think she said at one time she was in 3 clubs. Her friends told me mother was a master bridge player, somehow she could memorize other players' cards. 

She loved her jazzercise at Bally's with Jean Lawrence. She and Jean Lawrence had their routine that always included lunch afterward. Eating out with her family and friends was a daily part of her life! And she loved it!

Parties, parties, parties! It did not matter the occasion, mother graciously opened up her home to family and friends. It could be a spur of the moment, she did not worry about the details, it was all about having fun.

She loved the flower beds in her front yard. Twice a year her landscaper of many years and mother would decide how her beds would look.  Mother had an eye for flower arrangements and her flower beds were a great pleasure to her.  

Mother was always dressed to the ‘nines’ as they say.   Again, she had an eye for that total look!  Along these lines, she loved interior decorating. Mother had that eye for what went where for that professional interior design look! 

When Jean and I were younger growing up, we might attend 3 schools a year because of daddy’s job; we moved frequently.  Mother always took the time to make sure Jean and I made friends quickly, by letting our home be the one where everyone gathered.  Mother was active in the school’s PTA. 

And last but not least, mother’s grandkids, Ben, Lindsey, Trey, and Kristin were her pride and joy.  She was an active part of their lives.  She was busy enjoying all their sports and activities. From dance competitions to running events, to cheerleading, to programs at her church,  she was there!  Her energy was boundless.

One of a kind…

How many people at 97 years old experience Covid, a hip fracture, and a stroke all within 18 months? She recovers and doesn’t miss a beat. When it comes to doctors, mother was old school, let thy body heal on its own, who needs a doctor?  Needless to say, just getting her to a doctor’s appointment was a challenge.  It was quite comical when a 95 to 97-year-old outwitted a doctor half her age. 

I recorded in real-time on my phone mother’s clever one-liners as she dealt with her doctors. Here are a few of them:

Mother had been driving by herself lost for 12 hours and a sweet Good Samaritan found her and notified me. When jean and I were reunited with mother she was having a good old time with her new friends, she just wanted to go eat. Mother has always remained calm regardless of her situation.

Soon afterward I took mother to a neurologist. This is how the conversation went:

Dr. Blum “Mrs. Wylie I don’t think you are capable of driving anymore.”

Mother -  “How would you know if I can drive, when did you drive with me!” 

Dr. Blum was speechless.  Well….

A Dr told mother “Mrs. Wylie your heart looks good”

Mother - I could have told you that,  I’m still here aren’t I?!

I took mother to have a mammogram, she was 80. I’m not sure if she’d ever had one before. The tech took mother to a room,  I could actually hear mother’s voice…let’s say she was not in a very pleasant mood and she had a few choice words for the Tech. When the Tech came out she said to me “I don’t think she will need any more mammograms!”

Doctor Gafney- another neurologist - was giving mother a memory test.  

Mother – “I don’t know the answer and I don’t care. What’s the point, I’m tired I’m done”

Dr then asked mother “how many fingers am I holding up”

Mother – “now if this isn’t the stupidest thing you can do.  Who cares …” and she storms out of his office.

Physical Therapist with mother-.  

Therapist – “Mrs. Wylie I would like you to walk from here to there.  

Mother – “why? “ 

Therapist – “to see how you do”. 

Mother – “I’ll do just fine.  Why would I walk from here to there if I don’t need to!!  When I need to get over there I will, but not because you are telling me to do so.”

 Mother did not like taking her daily pills. The med techs would try reverse psychology.

Med tech – “Mrs. Wylie your medication is going to make you feel better”. 

Mother responded, “don’t I have to feel bad first” 

Mother and Doctor Siddiqui- 

The doctor asked mother as he entered the exam room “what is your name?”

Mother- “Why are you asking me that?!!!  Don’t you have it written down in your papers? I would think you would know who you are seeing!”   

The occupational therapist asked mother while we sitting outside, she was sitting in her wheelchair.

Occupational Therapist – “what’s your daily routine?”

Mother- “you’re looking at it.”

Freda, one of my mother’s caregivers early on, whom she adored, told me this story. Mother had called 911. 

Mother says to the 911 operator.   “There’s a big lady that’s at my place and she won’t leave” 

Freda’s response to the 911 operator – “Hey if y’all want to come here, that’s fine with me. I’ll take a short break and you can deal with her.” They didn’t come.  

My daughter-in-law Veronica and I took mother to get a flu shot at a clinic in the Woodlands.  I had called ahead and said, “is there a wait, my mother will get quite upset if she has to wait”. The clinic said no wait.  Ok, we get to the clinic, the waiting room was packed. Veronica was still outside with mother.  I told the receptionist you need to take my mom first, or she will throw a fit… I was told, “no mother will have to wait her turn”.  I smiled at the receptionist and said “ok, we’ll see about that.”

Veronica brought Mother to the clinic who now realized she was at the doctor’s office for a flu shot.  She started her rant’ “doctors are all out to get your money, they are crooks, those flu shots don’t work, you can’t trust the government and I’m not getting one”.

Needless to say, we were seen immediately!  

And the last short story involved Mother and Chaplin John.

She loved Chaplain John, he was her chaplain when she was 94. 

Chaplain John – “Mrs. Wylie what’s the secret to life” ... 

Mother – “You’re the minister,  I think you should know”.  

Chaplin John – “Mrs. Wylie, I have 3 girls and a wife and I can’t figure them out.”  

Mother- “You are not supposed to, that’s because they are women”.

Mothers care

In Mother’s early 90s, mother lived in an apartment on the Woodlands Waterway.  We would sit on her balcony and watch the kayaks drift by. What a gorgeous view of the trees that lined the waterway and the fountains. She loved watching the birds, turtles, and ducks. She had private caregivers who loved her dearly, Jennifer, Kimi, Veronica, and Janice.  She felt their love and was grateful for them. These wonderful ladies and I enjoyed many fun experiences with mother, like the woodlands festivals, concerts, parks, and much more. 

One time when I was strolling mother down the boardwalk, there was a group of about 20 people up ahead. As we approached they divided on either side to let us stroll thru. Mother waved her hand like a beauty queen and asked the crowd as we walked thru, “y’all were just waiting for my autograph.”

She may have been in her 90s but in typical Bennie jo fashion, she was not going to slow down or turn down a new experience. 

Mother’s last 2 years she resided at a small cozy loving memory care - Village Green.  Mother loved and was deeply loved by their devotion to her. Archie, Brianna, Diamond, Elisa, Alexas and Dee and so many others were mothers little angels watching over her.  They all loved mother’s little spitfire personality and had so much fun with her.

Mother was truly blessed to have the most compassionate loving caregivers be a part of her life. Bayou city was her hospice.  They were wonderful, especially Tiffany, her nurse, who was her guardian angel, who was there day or night whenever mother needed her!  Mother knew she was loved by so many people and she would thank them with kisses and hugs and that big sweet smile of hers!

In Closing 

Who knows how many seeds mother planted in people’s hearts from her infectious personality as she enjoyed her journey of life.  I speak for myself, my sister Jean and our entire family, mother had a strong presence in each of our lives and we were all richly blessed by her.

I will now read a passage mother wanted me to read at her funeral, it is definitely fitting of her positive outlook on life, and her overall sweet gratitude for being blessed with 99 years!

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,

I am the swift, uplifting rush.

Of quiet birds in circling flight,

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there, I did not die!

I am sure mother was at peace when she took her last breath because she had a full life filled with love. My heart is filled with sorrow from her passing I will miss her dearly, but I am filled with joy that she and daddy are reunited. As mother joyfully brings her larger-than-life personality through those pearly gates, I can hear my daddy say - “Well Bennie Jo, it’s about time, I’ve waited 25 years for you!” I can see daddy with that sweet smile on his face as he greets her!

Obituary

Funeral services for Bennie Jo Wylie, 99, of Houston, were held Saturday, January 7, 2023, at the Memorial Oaks Funeral Home in Houston. Tom Sawyer, a friend of Bennie Jo and Arch, officiated the service. Interment will follow on Sunday, January 8, 2023, at the Lakewood Memorial Cemetery in Henderson, Texas, where her husband of 50 years was laid to rest. Arch also died in December, in 1997.

Bennie Jo was born on January 23, 1923, and died on December 26, 2022, at her residence at the Village Green Memory Care in Champions Forest. Bennie Jo passed away peacefully three weeks shy of her 100th birthday. She felt so loved and cared for by their caregivers. She showed her gratitude with many hugs and kisses.

Bennie Jo was born in Lufkin, Texas. Her family moved to Henderson when she was in junior high school. She met and later married her high school sweetheart, Arch C. Wylie Jr., on March 4, 1944. After Arch returned home from the war in 1947, he completed his degree in accounting from Texas A&M. Arch and Bennie Jo moved to Houston where Arch began his first job for the Shell Oil company as an internal auditor. The job required Arch, Bennie Jo, and their 2 daughters Pamela and Jean, ages 7 and 6, to move every 3-4 months all over the country for 7 years. Bennie Jo with her fun-loving zest for life took all the moving in stride. Bennie Jo and Arch were relocated back to Houston in 1965 which became their home.

Arch and Bennie Jo were charter members of Memorial Drive Christian Church. Arch handled the church's books…. and as Bennie Jo would say… “I handled the church parties”. Bennie Jo loved teaching Sunday and vacation bible school to the young ones. She found great peace in her Christian faith and was a devoted member of her church.

Bennie Jo was a devoted wife, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. She was involved in each of our lives. Bennie Jo enjoyed eating out with her friends, playing bridge, hosting parties, and going to jazzercise. She also loved traveling with Arch, her sisters, and her many friends. Bennie Jo had a zest for life throughout her 99 glorious years!

Bennie Jo was sweet and caring, yet feisty and spunky. She had a quick wit and a great sense of humor which drew people to her.

Bennie Jo is survived by her daughter and son-in-law, Pamela Wylie Schulz and Cary Schulz; daughter and son-in-law, Jean Wylie Posey and Youree Posey; four grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. Preceding her death were her husband, Arch C. Wylie Jr.; her sisters, Laurette McKewen and Mary Tittle; her mother, Mamie Gertrude Taylor Smith; her father, Bennie Madison Smith; and her stepfather, Reagan "Poppy" Stone.

* * * * * * * * * *

Funeral services for Bennie Jo Wylie, 99, of Houston, were held Saturday, January 7, 2023, at the Memorial Oaks Funeral Home in Houston. Tom Sawyer, a friend of Bennie Jo and Arch, officiated the service. Interment will follow on Sunday, January 8, 2023, at the Lakewood Memorial Cemetery in Henderson, Texas, where her husband of 50 years was laid to rest. Arch also died in December, in 1997.

Bennie Jo was born on January 23, 1923, and died on December 26, 2022, at her residence at the Village Green Memory Care in Champions Forest. Bennie Jo passed away peacefully three weeks shy of her 100th birthday. She felt so loved and cared for by their caregivers. She showed her gratitude with many hugs and kisses.

Bennie Jo was born in Lufkin, Texas. Her family moved to Henderson when she was in junior high school. She met and later married her high school sweetheart, Arch C. Wylie Jr., on March 4, 1944. After Arch returned home from the war in 1947, he completed his degree in accounting from Texas A&M. Arch and Bennie Jo moved to Houston where Arch began his first job for the Shell Oil company as an internal auditor. The job required Arch, Bennie Jo, and their 2 daughters Pamela and Jean, ages 7 and 6, to move every 3-4 months all over the country for 7 years. Bennie Jo with her fun loving zest for life took all the moving in stride. Bennie Jo and Arch were relocated back to Houston in 1965 which became their home.

Arch and Bennie Jo were charter members of Memorial Drive Christian Church. Arch handled the church's books…. and as Bennie Jo would say… “I handled the church parties”. Bennie Jo loved teaching Sunday and vacation bible school to the young ones. She found great peace in her Christian faith and was a devoted member of her church.

Bennie Jo was a devoted wife, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. She was involved in each of our lives. Bennie Jo enjoyed eating out with her friends, playing bridge, hosting parties and going to jazzersize. She also loved traveling with Arch, her sisters and her many friends. Bennie Jo had a zest for life throughout her 99 glorious years!

Bennie Jo was sweet and caring, yet feisty and spunky. She had a quick wit and a great sense of humor which drew people to her.

Bennie Jo is survived by her daughter and son-in-law, Pamela Wylie Schulz and Cary Schulz; daughter and son-in-law, Jean Wylie Posey and Youree Posey; four grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. Preceding her death were her husband, Arch C. Wylie Jr.; her sisters, Laurette McKewen and Mary Tittle; her mother, Mamie Gertrude Taylor Smith; her father, Bennie Madison Smith; and her stepfather, Reagan "Poppy" Stone.