Russell H. Raymer Jr.

Russell Harold Raymer Jr. died at home on Sept. 12, 2018, one year after being diagnosed with stomach cancer. He was a strong, loving, temperamental man who took up jogging in his 60s, lost more than 100 pounds at least twice, adored his atypical family created over three marriages, loved researching and debating the meaning of Scripture, and could often be found at the poker table. He is perhaps best known for his welcoming smile and his frequent jokes, which were always funny to him and usually others.

He was born May 23, 1944, in Battle Creek, the second of five boys born to Wilma (Bayn) and Russell Raymer. His family moved frequently when he was growing up and he attended 14 schools before graduating in 1962 from DeWitt High School. He also attended school in Eaton Rapids, Lansing, and Ohio. He earned his associate’s degree from Lansing Community College and was an expert in Hoyle.

He served in the U.S. Marine Corps from 1962-65, earning a good conduct medal and a rifle sharpshooter badge. He was discharged a Corporal C-4 as a radio relay repairman. He went on to work 30 years at General Motors. He was an electrician by trade but was a natural at computers. He was an early adopter of new technology and evolved into a computer programmer and teacher. He also was the friend everyone called to figure out their computer problems. Russell was head of maintenance for one of the lines in Building 90 and later wrote the programming for the very first zero downtime die change at a GM plant. Before retiring in 1995, Russell worked at every GM plant in the Lansing area and taught courses for GM.

He married Nancy L. Patterson on March 28, 1970. They were married for 33 years and he was her caretaker for nearly 10 years before her death in 2003 of breast cancer. Russell had “my special angel” engraved on her tombstone but in real life he called her DRC, short for Dirty Rotten Cheat, a name he bestowed on her after she beat him in cards.

He married Connie Mae Osbo (Hull) on May 15, 2004. Connie brought Russell renewed happiness, served as his rock and his memory, and first made him a grandfather. Connie had been a friend to both Russell and Nancy throughout Nancy’s illness.

His life was imperfect and so was he.

He had the patience of a saint, assuming said saint had absolutely no patience whatsoever. He stormed out of more restaurants than anyone can remember, as well as occasional family reunions and holiday dinners. He threatened to call 911 from his hospital bed because it was taking too long for a nurse to respond. Even at the very end of life, he stubbornly refused assistance.

He also was loving beyond most people’s ability to comprehend. He paid his niece to quit smoking when she was pregnant. He was the first to tell his daughter she should adopt. He loved all his family and any titles such as “step” and “half” were simply nonexistent.

He quit smoking three times, the last after absentmindedly offering his wife a cigarette when she was getting treatment for breast cancer. He quit drinking only once because he knew if he had another drop, he would have the whole bottle.

He taught his children to always see humanity for what it is: Flawed. And to love people regardless. “I know I wasn’t a perfect father to you kids,” he’d say, “but I hope you remember the good.”

Russell found out officially that he was dying on Aug. 30. The stomach cancer that caused massive internal bleeding and damn near killed him a year earlier had spread to his liver, even while he was taking chemo. He died less than two weeks later, on his father and namesake’s birthday. But there were still a few more poker games wedged in there.

The family gathered on Sept. 1 for what we all knew would be our last family tournament with Russell, who announced at the start that this game would count as the Annual Christmas Texas Hold-em Tournament for 2018.

Five dollar buy-in and re-buys. It’s the only tournament a year that we play to the finish—no splitting—no matter how long it takes. There were more rebuys than anybody could ever remember having in a tournament. No one wanted it to end.

Russell fake coughed every time he lost a hand and it was hilarious. Every time.

So, if the story were perfect, he’d win. But the story, like dad’s life, isn’t perfect.

He got third place. And, not once in all the years of Russell’s Poker Room (est. 2003) did its namesake get his name on the championship plaque.

And, it was beautiful. Just … beautiful.

Russell is survived by his wife, Connie; children: Mary, Marian, Russell (Marissa Rodriguez), Marjory (Eric Wisniewski), Andrea (Patrick) McDonnell and Erin (Kimberly) Osbo; 10 grandchildren: Kaitlyn, Blake, Benjamin, Meghan, Gavin, Shae, Javon, Gabriel, Evelina, and Oscar; one great-granddaughter Arielle; brothers John, Ralph and Mark; and a whole slew of other people who loved him including his wives’ families and many, many nieces, nephews, and friends. He was preceded in death by his parents, wife Nancy, and brother Phil.

Pallbearers are Russell Raymer III; Eric Wisniewski; Patrick, Benjamin, and Gavin McDonnell; and Bob Donders.

Visitation will be 2-4 p.m. and 6-8 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 16, 2018, at Gorsline Runciman Funeral Home, 205 E. Washington St. in DeWitt. The funeral is 11 a.m. Monday, Sept. 17, 2018, at Redeemer United Methodist Church, 13980 Schavey Road in DeWitt. There will also be visitation one hour prior to the funeral and a luncheon will follow.

Burial will be in DeepDale Memorial Gardens at a later time because people are dying to get in there and they don’t have enough time to bury him on Monday (fulfilling the prophesy of one of dad’s all-time favorite jokes). In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the church or poker table of your choice.

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