Mary Lee Coates Traxler

Fifty-four days short of her 93rd birthday Mary Lee Coates Traxler, lifelong resident of Boone County, passed away on Mother’s Day, May 14, 2023. Born on a farm in Rocheport, MO, under a waxing gibbous moon on July 7, 1930, Mary Lee was first greeted by midwife, Laura Bell, her mother Nancy “Elizabeth” (Shull) Coats and father Andrew “Buffalo” Coats. Mary Lee’s older brother, Herbert Coats, “Little Bubba,” 10 years old at the time, hitched the wagon to go fetch Dr. Angell and the nurse midwife.

Mary Lee would say she never stopped learning and she liked studying the dictionary in search of new vocabulary words. She would have loved Merriam Webster’s “Word a Day” on the Internet, but she never mastered using a computer or a smart phone. In the 1930s Mary Lee rode her horse to Linden School, a one-room school house. Later, she received her certificate to enter high school from Rocheport School (now School House Bed and Breakfast) and earned a diploma from New Franklin High School in the late 1940s. She genuinely loved and held dear her teachers. This past week, upon mentioning a favorite teacher by name, the joyful cadence in Mary Lee’s voice expressed volumes of reverence and appreciation.

Following high school, a case of rheumatic fever caused Mary Lee to leave Christian College (now Columbia College) after one year. She went back to college in the mid-1970s and studied nutrition at the University of Missouri. Later, she became a licensed cosmetologist and certified massage therapist. In the 1980s she was sought as a private caregiver, in part, because of her ability to cook delicious homemade country meals including dishes such as baked apples and cornbread. Mary Lee strongly believed in dying with dignity and had a special way of bringing peace and comfort to those with chronic or terminal illness. Even after an amicable divorce in the 1980s, Mary Lee was with her former husband, who had remarried, at the time he died. She had taken him a slice of his favorite pie.

Joe Traxler and Mary Lee eloped with their parent’s blessing on October 1, 1950, driving to Castle Rock, CO. As dusk fell, Joe, knowing how to get things done, knocked on the back door of the judge’s residence and they were legally wed with the small town judge’s wife as the witness. Joe was a master mechanic and had his own farm implement business. He would drive the couple to numerous Missouri towns to make “farm calls” and sometimes deliver repaired tractors, Bush Hog mowers, and or a new Kubota. Sunday afternoon trips in Joe’s two-ton flatbed truck often included a batch of Mary Lee’s mouthwatering fried chicken, made in a well-seasoned iron skillet. They loved and respected their friends and neighbors and were loved in return.

Farm equipment manufactures offered the couple some terrific travel opportunities with trips to Martinique, Spain, Mexico and Morocco where Mary Lee rode a camel. They enjoyed many visits to the Deutz tractor factory in Cologne, Germany. Mary Lee valued traveling by train and never lost her enthusiasm for sightseeing. She could drive anything. Once, she filled in for Joe to drive a service truck filled with fuel to make a delivery traversing the hills near Hartsburg. On some nights she could be found outside, solo, mowing under a full moon atop her bright green

Deutz-Allis tractor while on other nights she would drive her car to the Easley or McBaine river bottom or to Rocheport to stargaze and moon bathe. She recently took a driver’s safety course, not out of obligation to maintain her Chauffeur’s license, but as a refresher and she still enjoyed the freedom of driving herself on occasional hundred mile jaunts to attend a Royals or Cardinals game or to visit family and friends in Marshall MO or wherever they may be.

Mary Lee had a sense of rhythm and she played drums in the marching band and would later amaze her audience from behind a drum kit. She played piano and the organ. Athletically agile, she had a good pitch and was a good hitter when she played baseball and softball. She continued to surprise everyone with her abilities, innate curiosity, and intuition. Mary Lee would just show up unannounced, either because she couldn’t locate your phone number or was thinking about you and decided to seize the moment.

Mary Lee never met a stranger and met people from all walks of life, frequently becoming “fast friends” enjoying getting to know them and hearing about their life stories. She would remember each person’s experience, readily sharing both their triumphs as well as their injustices, from her heart’s perspective. It seemed she knew everyone in Boone County. She had numerous relatives on both sides of the Coats family and she knew all of their names.

Her quirky communication style was off putting to some, but those that she genuinely connected with shared a unique and personalized relationship with her. A special shout out goes to her security buddies she met at Columbia College and Michael, her mailman, who brought her friendship and peace of mind. These kind men and countless others became true friends with her. Mary Lee’s distinctive caring heart opened the hearts of others. She was an ardent listener and customarily had a story…a fresh one…which involved local history or its people. The breadth of her conversation was vast. Her love of life was heartfelt. Her gratitude was tremendous for the extended family of her church communities. Like her mother, Elizabeth, Mary Lee found solace with her faith in the Lord.

Under a waning crescent moon, Mary Lee passed away at her home, in Columbia, where she had lived independently until May 6, 2023. On that particular Saturday she watched the coronation of King Charles III and called the winning horse of Kentucky Derby. Later that evening she asked friends to drive her to the emergency room after experiencing a heart attack. She was released to return to her home under the care of hospice, her family, and close friends. We celebrate that Mary Lee had no dementia, no Alzheimer’s, was clear headed, and was able to live independently and share those pretty smiles and her wonderful unique laugh until the end. We give thanks for the life of Mary Lee Coates Traxler.

Mary Lee Coates Traxler is survived by her three daughters; Terry Anne (Traxler) Phelps (William Terry Phelps) of Salem, MO; Janet (Robyn) Traxler (Richard Langston) of Bartlesville, OK; and Joy Traxler Stearns (Michael Stearns) of Santa Fe, NM.

Mary Lee is also survived by and was known as: Grand to grandson, Jeremy Traxler; Oma to grandson, Colin Hauenstein, and Grandma Sugar to great granddaughter Malina Traxler and to Hawk Phelps.