Pamela Torrey Hayes

Following a courageous fight against a relentless illness, Pamela Torrey Hayes passed away peacefully on November 29, 2021, in Alexandria, Virginia. She is survived by her husband of fifty-one years, Brian Hayes of Alexandria; and their three married children, Lindsay Hayes and husband Jason Marcella of Alexandria, Erin O’Brien and husband Tod of Wilbraham, Massachusetts and Colin Hayes and wife Whitney of Alexandria. She was the proud grandmother of five – Everett and Gemma Hayes of Alexandria, Ben and Nate O’Brien of Wilbraham, and Hayes Marcella of Alexandria. She is also survived by her sister Nancy Hesse and husband John of Hyannis, Massachusetts; and was predeceased by her sister Barbara Torrey of Wilbraham, Massachusetts. Pam was born on December 22, 1949 in Oak Park, Illinois to Clarence and Dorothy Torrey and spent most of her childhood in DeWitt, New York. She and her husband Brian met in their very first days as undergraduates at Boston College. Education was a passion for Pam. In addition to her undergraduate degree, Pam received a Master’s degree in education and highly specialized training in teaching reading to the most vulnerable and at risk students. Over the years, she taught literature, writing, and reading to high school, middle school, and elementary school students at St. Anthony’s School in Falls Church, Virginia, The Grammar School and Soule Road School in Wilbraham, Massachusetts, and Green Meadows School in Hampden, Massachusetts. Were you to ask anyone who ever met Pam to describe her, you would consistently hear the words incredibly kind, selfless, patient, and loving. Those fortunate enough to know her as a wife, mom, grandmother, sister, daughter, teacher, and friend were all infinitely better for her presence in their lives. She was an avid tailgater, often among the first to the dancefloor at weddings, unquestionably the best on earth at giving hugs, and always a devoted teacher who opened the world, its beauty, and its promise to untold scores of young people. One look at the calendar Pam kept on the kitchen counter and you could see that her highest priority in life was the people fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of her love. Every upcoming event – some of her own, but mostly others’ – was duly recorded there in writing so small it was nearly unreadable with the naked eye. It memorialized the reality that she was always there for her friends and family in moments big and small. The lives of all that knew her will be forever enriched. The family welcomes friends to visit from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. and again from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. on Sunday, December 5, at Demaine Funeral Home (520 S. Washington St. in Alexandria, VA). Services will be held at St. Rita Catholic Church (3815 Russell Rd. in Alexandria, VA) on Monday, December 6, at 11:00 a.m., followed immediately by burial at Ivy Hill Cemetery (2823 King St. in Alexandria, VA). For those wishing to honor Pam, a donation to the Children’s Literacy Initiative or the Scleroderma Research Foundation would be most appropriate.