Lynda Lou (Lewis) Scarborough

LYNDA LOU (LEWIS) SCARBOROUGH, 76

Lived Life May 9, 1946, through October 8, 2022

CELEBRATION OF LIFE SERVICE

Lakeview Funeral Home | Wichita, KS

Eulogy by Celebrant Cyndi Mendoza-Jones

10 A.M., Saturday, October 15, 2022

SONG “TINY DANCER”

OPENING PRAYER: REVEREND STEWART

Rocks

They form within the Earth and make up a large part of our planet. Rocks are so common that most of us take them for granted—like when we hit them with the garden hoe or picking one up to drive a tent peg in on summer camping trips. But what is a Rock? It’s a natural substance made of solid crystals and minerals that have been fused together. The minerals may or may not have been formed at the same time, yet what matters is that natural processes glued them all together.

Welcome, on behalf of the family, thank you for joining us in celebration of Lynda. I am Celebrant Cyndi Mendoza-Jones and honored to share her story with you. Rocks represent many things for different people, yet their symbolism centers on ideas of endurance, stability, and permanence. Rocks are not all the same, in fact there are three main types, or classes, which are sedimentary, metamorphic, and igneous. (ig knee us) The differences among them has to do with how they are formed and today we’ll live Lynda’s life, such as a rock. I know, a little different, yet after we gather particles, build the layers, and press them all together, we form the rock-solid woman she was. From the stories that have been told, one thing come across clearly, she was a rock for this family. A solid foundation. Today, in this tribute, we hear the truth of what held this stoic woman firmly on the ground.

“We begin with Sedimentary rocks which are formed from particles of sand, shells, and other fragments of material. Gradually, layers collect over a long period of time and hardens into rock. Generally, they are fairly soft, and you often see sand, pebbles, or stones in this rock, and it’s usually the only type that contains fossils.”

So, let’s get started as we collect the particles that began to form the foundation of this incredible woman. Ray and Lorene Lewis welcomed their daughter Lynda Lou, on May 9, 1946, in Guthrie, Oklahoma and just a few years later added another daughter Carolyn Sue. Stories of Lynda’s youth begin with a lot of vegetables. As the family worked to make a living, canned vegetables were affordable and these were a main stable, Lynda even telling of a story that she and Sue walked 4 miles to an uncle’s house once to fetch one can of green beans. Now, school, when young, wasn’t her favorite place to be and she was in trouble a lot, couldn’t sit still, was taped to a chair once because of it, but really, she said, “She just wanted to go to work to help the family with money.” After school and on weekends, fun was found hanging out with her cousins, especially down at the water holes, and Sue often tagged along, though Lynda might have said, once or twice, her little sister tattled on what they were really doing.

Lynda spoke of only having 3 dresses to wear throughout the week, yet one of her fondest childhood memories was of her mother, who normally took the bus to work for .10 cents, began walking and saving that change long enough to buy her girls their first bicycles. It was during her youth, the family moved to a 2-story home, here in Wichita, near East High School, and the sisters told of a ghost that paced back in forth upstairs in this house. Here Lynda began her first job as a waitress, graduated from East High in 1964 and headed to college at Wichita State University. After a few years at WSU, Lynda married her high school boyfriend and together, in 1966, they welcomed a son, Michael Ray. The middle name after her father. Michael recalls them living in another house before moving to what will be known as their, home, growing up in the one on Roosevelt. Here she read him his favorite book, “Thunderhoof,” about “a wild horse that refuses to be tamed by the cowboys but misses their company after they give up and turn him loose.” He remembers her cooking a lot of porkchops, fondue fun on the weekends, and her looking up from a book, while at one of is little league games, to see what the commotion going on was about, and as she did, boom, a foul ball broke her nose.

In Michael’s early years, Lynda became a single mother after a divorce and she’d stop college for bit to work but she made sure to take her son to not only to those little league games, but to his bowling and ice-skating practices, and they had fun on a trip to Mexico too. He said, “she loved to care for her yard, especially the cactus at the house on Roosevelt” and house plants, she loved these throughout her life as well, one, in particular, that Michael made in kindergarten. This 45-year-old plant, he just took home to Oklahoma a couple of days ago.

Lynda worked hard and went back to school. In fact, it was in a geology class, she’d meet Les Scarborough III and they’d bond over their shared love of rocks. The pair married in 1974, he’d adopt Michael, and in June of ’75, perfectly timed, while on a two week break between classes, they welcomed a daughter they’d name Michelle Elizabeth. The following year, 1976, after a lot of hard work, Lynda graduated with her first degree with a Bachelor of Arts. She began teaching at the University as well as hired on at Coleman and was proud to have worked her way to being the 2nd female supervisor they’d have. The first left in tears, yet Lynda was one who always “broke glass ceilings,” as Michelle says and this fire, this push, only gave her more will to keep moving forward.

This was her Sedimentary rock layer. Her foundation, the pieces or particles that created layers that hardens into rock. She took the challenges from her youth, the perseverance of her mother to save for those bicycles, and the fortitude to see how important an education was and built a solid layer for her children to now look up to as well.

While on the subject of looking up, let’s take our eyes up to the screen and catch a few snapshots of Lynda’s life in pictures as we pause for a song by one of her favorite artists, Neil Diamond, and “Song Sung Blue.”

SONG “SONG SUNG BLUE” BY NEIL DIAMOND

Rocks of any type can be converted into any other type, as stones are not only strong but versatile too. They allow us to feel the energy of the earth and teach us powerful lessons about endurance as they encourage us to appreciate the common things in our life.

The second kind of rocks we’ll talk about are “Metamorphic which are formed under the surface of the earth from metamorphosis; the change that occurs due to heat and pressure. This squeezing of rocks results in ribbon like layers which may have shiny crystals, formed by minerals, growing slowly over time on their surface.” We use the metamorphic rock here to symbolize the layers formed by not only her youth, but by yet again becoming a single mother, and using this to continue to push forward, forming her into an even stronger woman who moved from her job at Coleman to one in procurement at Cessna while also still teaching at WSU or Boeing on top of that full time job.

Days for the family began early with a cup of Earl Grey Tea in her hand and Malt-O-Meal on the table. Michelle says, “No one did it like mom. Whipping cream and sugar in the oats along with a piece of toast with butter and cinnamon and sugar shaken from a Tupperware salt and pepper shaker.” Lynda’s days were long, and often a note was left out for Michelle to begin dinner. They always had big meals, pot roast with potatoes and carrots, corned beef cabbage, chili, and stews. Growing up poor, she didn’t believe in leftovers and preferred quality over quantity when it came to the food she bought. After dinner it was time for games, Wahoo, Yahtzee, Monopoly, Risk, and Clue are just a few, but when it was time for her to work on the chores, Michael and Michelle would zone out on TV shows, often fighting over who got to change the channel.

As her children and career grew, she’d be proud of them and that her accomplishments afforded her to finally buy the light cream sofa she wanted to purchase. She’d teach her children to be respectful, to study hard, and spoiled them in other ways too. Holidays were always big family affairs. For Thanksgiving, Lynda cooked the turkey, green bean casserole, oyster stuffing, orange salad, and the pumpkin and pecan pies before packing them all up and heading to her mother’s house for festivities. After watching the Macy’s Day Parade early and enjoying a bountiful meal, they’d drive around to see Christmas lights that night, before Black Friday Shopping the next day. Christmas was much of the same plus au gratin potatoes, cookies and fudge she started making days before, and that French silk pie she added for this occasion too. There were always lights on the house and the nativity she and Les made in ceramics was placed for all to see inside. There may have been a trip to Kansas City to purchase one of over 40 Nutcrackers Michelle now holds dear and on the eve of, it was off to the candlelight service at church before one present was opened and cookies and milk were set out for Santa to enjoy. And if you received a card from her on an occasion, you could bet, she spent time at the local Hallmark, picking the right one just for you.

Michael, as mentioned got his time with her and with him being 8 years older than Michelle, once he was out on his own, Michelle got a little time with mom too and this came with traveling. They’d hit the ski slopes twice a year in Breckenridge, Crested Butte, or Vail. There were trips to Silver Dollar City, both Disney’s and Alaska. If Lynda was going due to a work trip, she might take Michelle out of school to go with, where, after work, they’d find new restaurants and learn to like oysters on the ½ shell, among other delicacies, together. There was church on Sundays followed by a homecooked lunch, and she’d splurge on the nicest dresses when it came to school dances for Michelle. The rules rarely changed as Lynda stressed good grades in school, go to college, and have a good career.

After Michelle turned 18, Lynda moved from the house on Roosevelt to her still today home on Wood Ct. Like before, her yard was a treasure, the iris and rose flower gardens, the plants, and metal statues and inside, the house plants grew too. All say she had a green thumb, hence the plant that’s now made it over 45 years. This next phase of her life came with many highlights as she went from teaching at Boeing to working there from December of 1984 to 2015. She went back to school and graduated from Friends University with a Master of Science Management in 1990, yet perhaps the shiniest part of her metamorphic rock phase, when the crystal that comes from inside became the most reflective, happened when her children brought grandchildren into her life.

Now Michael and Michelle have similar stories here as both of their spouses, Cyndee for Mike, and Steve for Michelle, say “Mom was skeptical at first about them marrying,” but she came to love both in-laws, supporting them in their ventures, yet what truly made her heart smile was not the phrase “Grandma,” because she said she was too young for that title, but once Michael and Cyndee welcomed, son Andy and twins Chance & Chase and Michele gave birth to Caitlyn, the one to call her “Gam,” the brightest part of her rock shone through. She’d ship Andy’s bike to San Diego and drive herself, the twins, and her sisters 3 children: Rachelle, Katrina, and Ashley, to her mom’s in Arizona, where they’d then head to the southern California city too and while Andy was attending Matt Hoffman’s BMX Camp, the rest visited the zoo, the ocean, and Sea World. She took them all to Disney a few times, to the Rain Forest Café in Vegas, and more. She was proud of all she could do for and with them, even sending the twins to space camp in Huntsville, Alabama.

Caitlyn shared a few more memories, as she lived locally and had a bit more time with Gam- she says, “I remember her working a lot as a kid. My bedroom was right above the garage and when she left for work in the mornings, I could feel the vibration of the garage opening. I’d run outside in my pajamas, and she’d take me to daylight donuts, sometimes even letting me sit on her lap and “help” her drive depending on how good she was doing on time”

2. “After church on Sunday’s, when I was little, we would go to Toc’s Diner with her friend Cecilia. We all got Kings-X waffles and I also got a hot chocolate with extra whip cream then we would pick a song at the jukebox. We went so often they had our orders memorized.”

3. “During the summers she’d take me to Arizona to meet up with my cousins and great Gma. Driving to Arizona we’d drive by this big, spray-painted elephant on the mountains and take a picture by it. We’d play in the stitches and go to the only gas station in Wilhoit to get a single piece of Red Vine licorice. When we went into the town of Prescott, we’d always go to the ice cream shop where I got strawberry cheesecake ice cream and Gam got a shake. She took me on a lot of trips growing up and my mom’s only rule was to not cut my hair. If you knew my grandma, you knew she didn’t like to follow rules and would always find a loophole, so when we came back, she dyed my hair instead. We had girl’s trips with her, her sister, Ashley, and me, where we went to Hawaii, when we were 18, and to LA together when we were 21.”

Niece Ashley says “both those trips were so fun! I remember when we went to Hawaii, Caitlyn and I weren’t 21 yet and we went to Red Lobster & Lynda was trying to let us take a sip of her alcoholic drink just to try it, but the server was keeping tabs on us.”

Emily, Caitlyn’s friend growing up, but now is a granddaughter-in-law, says “I will never forget the first time I met grandma. I came to hang out with Caitlyn, and we decided to shave her dog, Piper. (her poodle) She came home and was definitely surprised and not pleased with his haircut given to him by a couple of 8th graders. I looked up and introduced myself at that same moment. It was a great first impression. Some of my favorite memories with Lynda are her dropping Caitlyn and I off at high school in her minivan… neither one of us could drive, even by junior year, so we would pull up directly in front of the school where Lynda would proceed to open the automatic van doors. They would slowly squeak open which would draw the attention of every kid in the vicinity. Then, as if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, she would roll down the windows and scream “HAVE A GOOD DAY! Remember NO BOYS!!! ONLY HOMEWORK!!!” “We were so boy crazy that me and Caitlyn would go with Grandma Lynda and take walks, just so we could catch the attention of all the cars driving by. We walked downtown by the river and stopped halfway at Gander Mountain to get Red Bulls and rest for a minute. Grandma always told us, “Homework was more important than those boys acting like hooligans hanging their necks out of their car windows.””

Caitlyn concludes with- “Grandma was so loving and accepting. She always took in my friends as if they were her own kids. I never had a friend she didn’t like or if I did, I never knew. I have lots of wonderful memories with her, but the things I will cherish the most are the simplest, like our drives to Starbucks together where we loved going for drives around Sedgwick County after. Something so little, but it is my favorite memory of all. “

Let’s take a break from the memories brought by words and see a few more captured in pictures as we hear another familiar Neil Diamond song, titled, “Sweet Caroline.” I’m sure she sang along every time she heard it, so please, feel free to do the same.

SONG “SWEET CAROLINE” BY NEIL DIAMOND

The second kind of rock was the Metamorphic. It had the ribbon like layers which formed with many shiny crystals that reflected brilliantly throughout her life. She put them right on the surface with children Michael and Michelle, her grandchildren, parents, sister and nieces, more family, and friends, such as Caitlyn’s boyfriend Chris who moved into Lynda’s home later and helped with yard work and they grew a bond around watching the Walking Dead, Avenger, Comic book and Disney Movies together as well as she spent time with foster grandson Alize (Al I zay) who they took to the pumpkin patch, and local fairs and events too. But there were more times of fun with family, especially when Lynda got her beloved Ford F-250 Super Duty that pulled her 5th wheel and you found family here locally at Cheney and El Dorado Lakes as well as she loaded everyone up for the yearly trek to rock hunt in the desert of Quartzsite, Arizona where they attended the POW WOW and she never missed a rock and mineral show there either. She was such a constant visitor, there were vendors who looked forward to seeing her, especially the Moroccan man, who rolled out the red carpet for her each time. She made her way to Ron Coleman’s Mine in Arkansas, visited diamond mines all over, and of course she and her sister’s yearly trip to Burning Man, were I’m told, “What happens there, stays there.” Lynda simply loved to travel and though her favorite stones were said to be, “the newest one she’d found along with emerald and amethyst,” her home is full of stones of every color and that brings us to our 3rd class of rock, the Igneous (ig knee us) which are formed when magma (molten rock deep within the earth) cools and hardens. Sometimes the magma cools inside the earth, and other times it erupts onto the surface from volcanoes (in this case, it is called lava). Sometimes when lava cools quickly, it’s shiny and forms rocks like granite and other times, when it has a longer time to dry, no crystals form, leaving tiny holes and spaces in the rock like pumus.

I bring this class of rock in here to represent the last phase of Lynda’s life as we don’t always see lava rock as pretty, yet it’s a rock you see everywhere. Most not realizing the brilliance of granite comes from lava, we mostly think of its rough, red color lining flowerbeds a plenty. You see when Lynda was headed back from Quartzsite with her sister earlier this year, a weakness she’d been having on her right side was becoming more present. She’d pushed it off until one morning she thought she was having a stroke and she was rushed to St. Teresa’s where Chris, Caitlyn’s boyfriend, works. She was taken right back for a scan, where not a stroke, but a glioblastoma tumor was found in her brain. She went in on Saturday, February 5th, of this year and surgery was performed on Monday the 7th where she woke up mad after surgery, not because she had to have it, but because she came out with a Russian accent instead of a sexy French one with curly hair. She’d transfer to rehab, become good buddies with Steve, Michelle’s husband, as he transported her to and from appointments, and she’d begin many regimens of treatments saying, “she’ll do them all as long as she can.” In the meantime, she had Steve, Chris, and hired help remodeling her home the way she’d always wanted. Said, “She hoped to see it done before she passed.” She spent hours on the back deck, under the new pergola Steve had built, watching her squirrels come get food and seeing her gardens bloom. But most importantly, she wanted to spend time with each family member and did on the weekends as well as took one last big trip to Disney in June where she got to see Chris propose to Caitlyn.

We spoke of Lynda breaking glass ceilings. Being one of the first female supervisors at Coleman and when Boeing left Wichita, they built her an office within her home, and she was the last Boeing employee in Wichita for years. Her friend Karen wrote this:

“Although I met Lynda in 1985 when I started at Boeing, and later worked for her in 1999, we really became good friends during that time, but after we both retired from Boeing, we became best friends! One of the things I liked most about her was that she would do things on the spur of the moment with me, whether it was meeting me at Dillard’s quickly for the last day of sale on purses, or whether it was going to the Y and taking a group class with me, when I know that was not her preference. She would go to the Y with me, and I would walk with her--which was not my preference. Also, she was my ONLY friend that I knew I could call at 10:00 at night, knowing that we would be on the phone for two hours! A prime example of her generous spirit was when she drove me to Salina at the last minute in 2015. My daughter, who lives in KC said her mother-in-law, was gravely ill and said if I could get to Salina, she could pick me up there and take me to see her in Hays. I called Lynda and asked her if she could take me and she immediately said, yes! I was on the road to Salina within the hour. However, none of that matches her spirit of fighting these last 10 months. I was honored that I was able to see her strength of character and the love she had for her family. She would do anything for them.”

This goes to show, Lynda was not only dedicated to her family, but cherished friendships to with not only Karen, who was a Republican Catholic to Lynda’s Democratic, non-Catholic views, but another best friend was Lorna, who she met through Sunday School at church and shared in Lynda’s similar political opinions. It was these ladies, who surrounded Lynda, among the many family and others, in these past months and days but just as she did most of her life, these last days, she fought too as each day her family was told, “Today will be the last.” After many of these days, on the 7th, eight days ago, doctors say, in her room, in front of her, “she won’t make it through today” and Lynda, being who she was, now had one more person to prove to that, SHE COULD DO IT. And she did. Lynda Lou (Lewis) Scarborough made it to 1:30 in the morning, a week ago, to Saturday, October 8th, breaking one more glass ceiling as she was surrounded by family. This igneous rock phase may not have been the prettiest, but she took the rough rock she’d been given, crushed it together with the other and fought to make the shiniest it could be.

The rock cycle is never ending. Rocks change from one type to another. All are eroded into fine particles. This is how soil forms and without it there is no food chain. The rocks give us energy and we saw throughout the course of her life the rock cycle played into every aspect. From forming her earliest thoughts through childhood, as we heard in the sedimentary process, before the metamorphic phase where we added ribbon and crystal layers with a beautiful family, children, and grands and finally to the Igneous (ig knee us) phase, though bubbles may have been trapped inside in the form of cancer, after she was able to rest, away from the vessel she lived in here on earth, like the rock changes its form, she is now shiny and glasslike in the form of an angel. Like the rocks, some of you may have holes where you miss her, but how do you fill them? What will you do to carry her memory forward? Lynda was about tradition, carving pumpkins, making Christmas fudge from the same old metal tin recipe, celebrating birthdays, and she always having a fridge full of ice cream sandwiches and drumsticks. So maybe you choose a tradition and carry it forward or if you haven’t already, in the back of the room, there is some of her beloved Christmas fudge, favorite Chick-O-Stick candy, and a few items hand-picked by Lynda from her many trips to Quartzsite, for you to choose from as you leave. Many of the necklaces, hand wrapped by her. Let the energy she gave and that which comes from the many stones she loved, disperse through your life like brilliant prisms of color and like a symbol of perfection and radiance as Lynda Sue (Lewis) Scarborough was a vivid light which shone with perfect illumination to create the rock-solid woman she was.

Now let us close with this: Will Sue, Michael, Michelle, and the grandchildren join me up here.

HANDPRINT CEREMONY

CLOSING PRAYER: REVERAND STEWART

SONG “THRIFT SHOP”

Eulogy written and delivered by Celebrant Cyndi Mendoza-Jones | [email protected]

PARENTS: Robert Ray Lewis; Zelpha Lorene (Beckner) Munsell

SISTER: Carolyn Sue (Lewis) Byars

MARRIED: Carl Ray Crouse 1966: SON: Michael Ray Scarborough (adopted by Les)

MARRIED: Leslie Carlton Scarborough III 1974: DAUGHTER: Michelle Elizabeth Scarborough

* * * * * * * * * *

Lynda Lou (Lewis) Scarborough, age 76, of Wichita, Kansas passed away on Saturday, October 8, 2022. Lynda was born May 9, 1946, in Guthrie, Oklahoma to her parents Lorene Beckner Munsell and Robert Roy Lewis. In 1954 she moved to Wichita, Kansas alongside her mother and sister (Sue Byars). Lynda graduated from East High with the class of 1964 and went on to get her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology at Wichita State (1976 honors). She then received her Master of Science in Business Management at Friends University (1990 honors). On December 18, 1966 she welcomed her son (Michael Scarborough) and June 19, 1975 her daughter (Michelle Scarborough) whom she loved very much. Lynda was a devoted Christian and attended several different churches throughout the years like Mt. Vernon Presbyterian, Pathway Church Westlink and Riverside Christian Church. She loved joining bible study groups with her good friend Lorna and even lead some. Lynda had a heart full of love, ears that would patiently listen, eyes that didn’t judge, and hands that would help anyone in need. Lynda personally donated to the Kansas Humane Society and Wichita State University Foundation every year. Those were two things that meant a lot to her. Lynda loved dogs but especially loved her Chow mix, Choppy and her miniature poodle, Piper. Piper was originally her granddaughter (Caitlyn’s) dog; yet, took a liking to Lynda and became her travel buddy. She absolutely loved traveling in her big white truck listening to Neil Diamond while hauling a camper behind. She has traveled to many places; some of her favorites were Alaska, Honolulu Hawaii, The Bahamas and Okinawa Japan. Lynda also loved her annual trips to Burning Man as a Lost Penguin member with her sister, and her yearly excursions to Quartzsite Arizona where she attended their Desert Gardens International Rock, Gem and Mineral Show. This began with her mothers passion for rocks that she also acquired. Lynda saw something unique and beautiful in each rock: as she did with everyone. She had rocks and crystals displayed proudly in all over her home. If she wasn’t traveling she was l shopping, going on walks, watching CNN or spending time with her family. She absolutely adored her family which is why Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday. Everyone sitting around her table sharing laughs made her the happiest. She would then try and return the happiness in December by making her famous Christmas fudge. Lynda retired in 2015, after a successful career at Boeing auditing purchase contracts. She devoted 32 years doing what she loved and meeting her lifelong friends there: Karen, Sally, Cindy and Kathryn. Lynda Lou Scarborough’s memories as a beloved daughter, mother, sister, gam, great nana, aunt, cousin and friend will be cherished forever.

Lynda is survived by her son Michael Scarborough (Cyndee); daughter Michelle Scarborough (Steven Scott); grandchildren Andrew Scarborough, Chance Scarborough (Emily), Chase Scarborough (Kortney), Caitlyn Sowden (Christopher Miller); great grandchildren Gavin, Ryleigh, Jackson, Easton, Thomas, Jemma and Alize; sister Carolyn Sue Byars, and many nieces and nephews.

Lynda was preceded in death by her father Robert Roy Lewis and mother Zelpha Lorene Beckner Munsell.

A funeral service for Lynda will be held Saturday, October 15, 2022 at 10:00 AM at Lakeview Funeral Home, 12100 E 13th Street N, Wichita, KS 67206.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.MyLakeviewFuneralHome.com for the Scarborough family.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfU4PKgmJc&t=0m0s.

-Neil Diamond, “Sweet Caroline”