Eliane Maria Lagattuta

It is with heavy hearts that we announce the passing of Eliane Maria Lagattuta (“Eli”) of Thousand Oaks, CA on October 4th, at the age of 79. She died peacefully at Los Robles Hospital, surrounded by her family. She was born on February 15, 1945, in Aschaffenburg, Germany to Stephen and Barbara Kunkel, where she grew up with her sister Karin and her two brothers Freddie and Jochen. Eli was born near the end of World War 2 and grew up with limited means. Her Father died of Tuberculosis at an early age and her brother Jochen was killed by a drunk driver when he was 19. These early struggles were instrumental in developing her ability to find the positives in difficult moments. She had a knack for using laughter to heal. She always said, “laughter is the best medicine.”

Those closest to Eli can attest that she was a force of nature. In addition to her lighthearted demeanor, she could have a bit of a stubborn streak (ask Nick about the sandwich story). She was confident and unwavering in her beliefs and held closely to her values with vise-like strength. She carried strong opinions on what was right and wrong and didn’t shy away from sharing her opinions. She did, however, have the unique talent of making you know you were loved while at the same time setting you straight.

She met her husband Nick at the US Army Officer’s Club, when he was stationed in Aschaffenburg, Germany, and they quickly fell in love. Eli’s sister Karin also met and fell in love with Nick’s Army roommate (Howard Scott). Eli and her sister Karin were very close. When Eli and Nick decided to get married, they shared their wedding day with Karin and Howard in a double wedding.

After a brief courtship (by today’s standards), Nick and Eli were married and began to build their family and future together. They had their first-born child, Susi while still stationed in Germany. Upon returning to the USA they were stationed in Columbus, GA where they welcomed their second child Nick. From there, they moved to Washington for a short stay, and then on to Baltimore, MD where they welcomed their third child, Frank. After a few years, Nick was sent overseas to Korea on duty and Eli and the kids moved to Buffalo, NY to live closer to Nick’s family for support. Upon Nick’s return, they moved again to Indianapolis, IN for a 6 month stay. Then on to Decatur, GA where they welcomed their fourth child, Rico.

Army assignments (Army life) kept things interesting but as a devoted wife, Eli was committed to keeping the family strong and close. Nick and Eli were married for 62 years. This was certainly a testament of their love for each other, and the cherished life they built together.

A life of laughter was how she will best be remembered. She always found reasons to laugh and approached life with a genuinely positive spirit. Her greatest joys were her family and her home/garden… and many of the simple things so easily taken for granted. “Home is where the heart is” defines her spirit completely. She prided herself in the rare quality and closeness of the family that both she and Nick created. She believed strongly in taking responsibility for yourself. She often used the German phrase “Selbst ist der mann” (do it yourself), to strengthen our own self-reliance and personal accountability.

She was a loving and devoted wife, mother and grandmother. Her love was unconditional, and she gave strength to her family through her love, support, devotion and unwavering commitment. She was the funniest, toughest, kindest, hardest working, family architect most of us could ever have the honor of knowing.

She is survived by her husband Nick, daughter Susi, sons Nick, Frank and Rico along with their respective spouses John, Margaret (Peggy) Dana and Stacie, and her 10 grandchildren Austin, Dylan, Colin, Makenzie, Nicholas, Anthony, Eliana (Ela), Enrico (Rico), Frank and Alexzandra (Lexi).

While she is no longer with us, her spirit will live on in our memories and hearts. We will miss her dearly and love her always.