Paul Anthony Spera, 58, peacefully passed away on May 17, 2023 surrounded by his family. Beloved son of the late John M. Spera, Sr. and Rose M. Spera (nee Loverde); loving brother of Rosemary Thrift and her husband Bob, Julia Ann Elgert and her husband John, John M. Spera, Jr. and his wife Chris, and Theresa Marie Durbin; cherished uncle of Christopher, Belinda, Lori, J.B., Jennifer, Benjamin and Laura; devoted great-uncle of Amber-Sierra, Jessica, Jackson, Will, Ellie, and Leo.
The family will receive friends in the Lemmon Funeral Home of Dulaney Valley, Inc 10 W. Padonia Road (at York Road) Timonium, Maryland 21093 on Thursday, May 25, 2023 from 2 to 4pm & 7 to 9pm.
Paul’s life will be celebrated at funeral home Friday, May 26 at 11am.
Interment Dulaney Valley Memorial Gardens.
Expressions of sympathy may be directed in Paul’s memory to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, 501 St. Jude Place, Memphis, Tennessee 38105 and/or the Alzheimers Association, 1850 York Road, Suite D, Timonium, Maryland 21093.
A message from Julia
How do I even begin to tell you about my brother Paul? He stole my heart from the day Mom & Dad brought him home from the hospital.
Paul was born with Downs Syndrome and because of that he would not be allowed a life as you and I would live. This led him to be able to enjoy the life he had, not needing more then just the simplest things to make him happy.
He was such an adorable baby and toddler and so sweet. When he got a little older and I got my driver's license he became my hangout buddy often taking him for rides or to church or a playground. Paul loved french fries, but Mom would always tell me not to get him any while we were out. Well who could resist that adorable smile when he asked for french fries? I certainly couldn't.. so we made a deal.. I would get him french fries if he promised not to tell Mom when we got home. And he never did! We formed a bond that could never be broken.
Paul attended Ridge Ruxton School for Special Need Children where he found a passion for bowling and won numerous trophies. He also competed in the Special Olympics track and field.
It didn't take much to make Paul happy. He found joy in watching wrestling or football with our dad and collecting and playing with his NASCAR cars. Shopping at the Dollar Store with Mom. Paul loved to dance and could tear up the dance floor ....he loved country music..he would sing to the radio at the top of his lungs even tho he didn't know the words. But most importantly he loved being with his family. That made him the happiest.
Later his passion turned to notebooks and pens. He enjoyed receiving notebooks and pens as gifts and would collect quite a stash. But no matter how many pens or notebooks he had in his bag, he would always say "I need more".
Then there was his relationship with John.. or his "brother in law" as Paul would call him.
A real "bromance". They loved to be together, eating pizza, watching the Ravens, getting haircuts together or their favorite...ganging up on me. John often referred to Paul as his best friend and I know John was Paul's best friend. The love between the two of them was beautiful to watch.
Thursday nights became date nights for the 3 of us to go out to dinner ...sometimes other family members would join us, especially Lori and Leo. Every week Paul would order the same thing...Pancakes! It didn't matter what kind.. as long as he had pancakes... BIG pancakes. And even after a very large dinner he would convince John to stop by McDonald's for an ice cream or fries. That boy could eat.
After the passing of our Dad, I became Paul's legal guardian. He moved into a group home where his housemates Ronald & Douglas & staff member Seri became his 2nd family. It was a house filled with love and Paul adjusted well especially since he had never been on his own without our mom or dad.
Emerge placed him to work at a greenhouse where he tended flowers. He made a very small pay check but was so thrilled when he would hand it to me often saying " I worked hard today". Sometimes he would surprise his sisters and I with flowers from the greenhouse that he bought with his paycheck. He was proud of his accomplishments and I was too. He went to cookouts, to Six Flags, fishing with Seri, Ocean City and so much more. He was happy, he had friends, he was thriving.
He had such an outgoing personality and he loved to flirt... the women loved him and of course he would always ask them "will you marry me?" Followed by "I kiddin". He loved to joke around with you and his laugh was contagious. His lust for life was a beautiful thing to see.
About 7 years ago Paul was diagnosed with dementia. At first it was mild and he could continue to do everything he loved. As time when on, things progressed and some of his mind and health were gradually taken from him. But that didn't stop Paul. He continued to enjoy his life, not really knowing how his life was changing. Every year more and more of his mind was taken from him but Paul just went with the flow.. again adjusting to his "new life".
In January Paul started to decline rapidly with each month that passed by. No matter how hard we tried we couldn't sustain his health. His life would never be the same. Dementia reared its ugly head and completely destroyed Paul's health. He fought for months but to no avail. Our hearts were breaking watching his demise.
My brother Paul was a very special person.. He was selfless, he was happy, he was affectionate, he was funny. He could light up a room with his smile and he was loved by so many, even those he just met.
Paul touched my life in so many ways, he taught me patience, he taught me joy and he taught me love. Undeniable love!
For the past 21 years being his guardian I cared for him trying to protect him, nurture him and give him whatever he needed. Somewhere thru the years I stopped thinking of him as my brother and thought of him as my "son".
People often say to me that Paul was lucky to have me in his corner watching over him, but it was actually me that was the lucky one. It was a blessing to me to be able to share in his life, creating memories that will always be in my heart and my mind. A lifetime of spending time with someone who loved with all his heart wanting nothing in return. Yes, I was blessed, over and over again.
And I was blessed again on May 17, 2023 when God allowed me to have been holding Paul's hand in mine when the doors of Hospice opened and the angel was waiting to take him home.. home to be reunited with our Mom & Dad in heaven.
My heart now has a huge hole in it and I'm not sure what the days ahead will look like without seeing my little buddy, caring for him, taking him on picnics, bringing him Rice Krispy treats, hugging him, dancing with him, or getting my kisses from him, seeing his smile. I will miss him so.
I can only console myself by knowing that he is back in our Mom & Dad's arms and that he is whole again.
Paul was my brother, my friend, my son, my HERO.
I'd like to leave you with these lines from a song by The Hollies that came out a few years after Paul was born that always meant a lot to me and reminded me of him:
"He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother"
The road is long.
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where,
Who knows where
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
So on we go,
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
Soar with the Angels baby brother,
I will love you forever!
Julia
DONATIONS
ALSAC/St. Jude Children's Research Hospital 501 St. Jude Place , Memphis, Tennessee 38105
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