Dearest Paul,

Today marks the one year anniversary since you have been gone.  What a difficult day it will be for all those who loved you, knew you, and had the privilege of calling you their friend.  I was lucky enough to have that privilege and I hurt in knowing that now I only have memories of you.  You and I worked together in the anatomy labs at GCU and I remember we would jam out to hard metal music while dissecting on the weekends to make sure our donors were properly prepared for our anatomy lectures.  You were like another brother to me, I remember you used to make fun of me and call me Snooki, due to my voluminous hair at the time, and now I only wish I could hear you call me Snooki one more time.  To hang out with you and have you make fun of my hair is something I will always reminisce.  For my wedding I was so bummed you couldn't make it but you gave me the gift I had registered for and wanted the most which was a bread maker!  I was so happy to have been gifted it by you, one time when you were on Christmas break from school we met up for dinner at the yard house and I was super excited to see you to give you a freshly baked loaf of cranberry walnut bread as your Christmas gift from the gift you had given me. I started baking the cranberry walnut bread for all my family and neighbors every December for the holidays and it has now been something that people request for me to bake for them so from now on this recipe is to be called Paul's Bread to honor your birthday month and the memory of you my dear friend.  I wish you had decided to stay here on earth a while longer to fully blossom into the amazing surgeon you were on the home stretch of becoming, but I understand.  I understand that you needed peace, I understand you were hurting, I understand that you had your reasons, but it doesn't get easier to accept.  I'll never forget you Paul Barker, you really were awesome and I'm glad to have known you.  Your legacy will live on with every loaf of Paul's Bread I bake.  I love you and miss you very much!

To the Barker Family I would love to bake you as many loaves of Paul's Bread as you would like anytime you want, feel free to call or text me 623.570.2045.  It would truly be an honor to bake Paul's Bread for Paul's family.

Your Friend,

Snooki

Dear Barker Family, 

I just wanted to express my condolences for your loss. I was so shocked to heart ghd news. In the time I knew Paul, he was a wonderful colleague to work with. My prayers are with you. He was a great loss to medicine and our program.

Barker Family, 

Paul had the moest infectious laugh. He could always brighten a room and make us smile. He's also the only one who could out do me in Star Wars, trivia, and marvel knowledge. Losing him has been devastating for our intern class and we could never fathom your grief. Paul brought us together and kept us grounded. This experience has brought our class even closer and we know he is still anchoring us in his own way. We miss him everyday. 

Your family always has a home here in Biloxi. Please let us know if we can do anything. You are constantly in our thoughts.

Dear Barker Family, 

My heart is heavy as I write this. I can't imagine how difficult this is but I hope you can find comfort knowing that Paul had an impact on so many people. He was helpful, friendly, intelligent, and compassionate. Please know that my family and I are praying for your family and you are constantly in my thoughts. If you ever want to talk about Paul or his impact here, please do not hesitate to call. 

With Sympathy,

I knew Paul briefly and he was a good person. I wanted to get to know him more. He had a lot of outdoors and geek knowledge that was fun to talk about. I wish your family strength during this time. Know that Paul will never be forgotten and we will carry his memory with smiles and laughter of the times we shared.

Dear Barker Family, 

I first mer Paul last year when he came to interview and we thought he was a great candidate. I was so glad to find out the he had matched to our program. I was a chief resident las year, and this is my first year as an attending surgeon. As our year started, I noticed that he was always prepared for conference, and he was diligent at taking care of his patients. I was really looking forward to working with him the rest of the year. 

It rained and rained for several days after Paul's passing. As a kid I imagined that God was crying, and my dad would ask if those were tears of joy or tears of sadness. I think on those days God was crying tears of sadness. Even though we only knew him for a short while, Paul had made a great impact. 

All of us were very shocked and we all kept thinking what did we miss, what could we have done differently. Then I pray with my sons I always remind them to be nice to everyone. Look for the lonely kid and give him a good pat on the back, or sit with him at lunch. Befriend him, because that could really make a difference. 

Paul never looked sad or lonely, and I remember joking around with him. Now I wish I had only done more. We are all thinking of you and praying for you all. My deepest sympathies,

Kellen Hunt's Speech at the Memorial Service
 
When I first met Paul, he punched me. It's a strange way for the story of our friendship to start, but that's what happened. Guys have a tendency to yell at each other rather than open up and let someone in; and in middle school you add a dash of hormonal instability. So Paul and I didn't take the time to get to know each other, we just argued one day until he punched me in the arm. Paul is strong. It hurt.
 
One day I was in a Best Buy with no intention of buying anything; it was just my access to free video games. Rounding the corner to check out the new Tony Hawk Pro Skater, I saw it's occupied by none other than the new kid who punched me. But free games are free games, and we began playing together. I saw that he was really good at it and he said he played it at home. Shortly after, he invited me over to play at his house sometime. It was a quick change in dynamics for an hour of button mashing in a retail store, but hey, I wasn't about to turn down an offer for more games.

I came to his house after school one day and the games commenced. We feasted on the bountiful reserves of Hot Pockets; he chose philly cheesesteak while I chose meatball. We washed them down with warm sodas poured over refreshing ice. The details all seemed superficial; you could replace us with any other two dudes and still have the same scene. And yet, out of that everyday scene was born the longest friendship of my life.
 
We didn't have a lot in common. We made fun of each other's musical preferences. I was loud and impulsive; he was quiet and methodical. I did theater while he built furniture. I sang along to songs and he didn't. The things we shared weren't unique. So when we spent so much time together, people would ask me why we were friends. It was simple: we needed each other. I like to think we balanced each other out; he gave me consistency, balance, and perspective while I made him laugh, and socialize, and do ridiculous things. That may be true, but more than anything we were there for each other. Especially entering high school, you need someone next to you. For me, that was Paul. No matter what, I had Paul. He was my safety net.
 
The most frightening moment for me came one day when we got in a stupid argument over a girl. He got so worked up that he crashed his car driving to my house to repeat the beginning of our friendship, which is to say he wanted to punch me. Things calmed down and he came back to get his car towed. Fearing that I may have lost my friend, my only reaction was to throw my arms around him. But Paul couldn't embrace me, and for next month or so we didn't speak. For a month, I was ruined because I had lost best friend. My safety net was gone.
 
Through a mutual friend, we thankfully got our friendship back. It was the first time I had a friendship endure something like that, and so we became closer than ever. We worked together for a couple years at the Jackalope Café, we graduated high school together, we endured more highs and lows, and we continued to play hours of video games fueled by hot pockets and soda. My sister called him her other brother, and I was always welcome at his house.
 
When we reached adulthood, it was inevitable that we would drift apart. We developed different interests and career paths that would physically take us away. We changed body types as I got a dad bod while he climbed mountains. He spent time in medical school and military while I taught kids and settled down. It was a lonely transition because he wasn't much of a talker to begin with. But when he was home, we would pick things up like I saw him a week ago. Still video games and soda; but maybe a fermented beverage mixed in there to reflect our adult status. He seemed so happy. He seemed so healthy. He seemed so successful. I was so proud to see him become such a man.
 
Then all of this happened. Once again I find myself trying to throw my arms around him, but he isn't able to embrace me anymore. I'd give anything to see him again. To catch up on life. To laugh about stupid things. To play hours of meaningless games. To burn our mouths with Hot Pockets. To even get punched in the arm againit would hurt a lot less. To be there for each other. But that's no longer a choice. And as hard as it is to move forward, that is exactly what I will have to do. Having spent the better half of my life with him by my side, there is a part of him embedded in everything I experience. And so I will put one foot in front of the other and hope that living a full life will be enough to honor a great man and great friend. I just wish I had my safety net.

Dear Family, 

My heart aches for your loss, but I hope this loss can bring you all together in your love for Paul. In the short time I knew him he impressed me with his intelligence, drive, caring, intuition, knowledge, work ethic, and on and on. I wish I could have gotten to know him even better and had time away from work. I know I would have enjoyed those conversations and his sense of humor. 

I can not begin to understand what you all are going through, but I hope there can be come comfort in knowing what a great impact Paul had on all of us while he was here at Keesler. Patients particularly responded to him and would ask for him to be there at their surgeries. I believe they found Paul comforting, that he seemed to give them a sense of security and put them at ease. I only wish he could have had that comfort for himself too. I wish you all peace and much love.

Dear Barker Family, 

The first time I met Paul, we were sitting next to each other during orientation. We started talking and we quickly discovered our mutual love of cats. He told me about Baxter, and showed me pictures, and I shared my own cat pictures, and I knew at that moment that we would share a special bond. When he adopted his new kitty a few days later, I was the first to know. I got so many kitty texts that day! It was amazing and he was so happy. 

I was looking forward to spending the next 5 years with Paul. He seemed so goal-driven, and determined to succeed. He was incredibly smart and insightful, but best of all he had an amazing laugh that most of us will never forget. 

I wish that I could have seen more of Paul since we began residency, but unfortunately since we were at different sites and on different schedules this did not happen. I will remember the times we shared, and these times were all happy. I think the most important thing all of us can tell you is that Paul had friends here. And we care. Our hearts hurt for not knowing that our dear friend and colleague was struggling. He will always be part of our family here, one of us.

Dear Barker Family, 

Paul and I became friends quickly, probably because all the jokes we made about sharing last names (my name in Dan Barker). Paul's desk was right across from me and we would talk a lot, from star wars, rock climbing or surgery. Paul was very good at surgery and was brilliant. I considered him a leader when it came to general surgery. 

Because there were 2 surgery interns named Dr. Barker, folks would confuse us all the time. I didn't mind. Paul and I tried to figure out how we were related. I don't think we ever did, but we felt like brothers. Paul and I would spend a lot of time together during the say and he always made us laugh. 

I didn't realize Paul was struggling because he seemed like a rock to me. I will always remember him, that he was a dedicated surgeon and a good friend. 

Best Regards

I first met Paul a year ago during our fourth year rotation at Keesler. I didn't get to work with him a lot then, but our brief conversations at the time were enjoyable. I was very excited to find out that we had both matched to Keesler & would be working together. Over the last few months I feel like I was able to know him better each day. We often spent time talking about our future careers or discussing how out current selection of presidential candidates were going to ruin our country. I was impressed by how composed Paul always was & his dedication to his career. He always motivated me to learn more ad work harder. I was looking forward to out next five years together & I will miss him greatly. He was truly an asset to our program. Please let me know if I can ever do anything for your family.

I had the pleasure of being chief resident while Paul was on service. It was my fist opportunity to be chief. I couldn't have asked for a better team. We all worked together very well. Paul was always eager to lead a hand where ever he was needed. He knew his stuff and I could rely on him to make sound decisions. It became quickly apparent that he was trustworthy and required little supervision to accomplish tasks quickly and correctly. He always seemed opportunities to help the team and his fellow interns. 

Paul also had a witty sense of humor. On more than one occasion he lightened the mood or eased the stress with a funny comment or joke. He is missed.

To the Barker Family,

First of all, I want to say how sorry I am for your loss. At Kesser, our fellow residents are our family and we are feeling the loss of a new member of our family, but I know our grief is nothing compared to yours. I also just wanted to share an experience  of Paul's on his last day with us. 

I am a second year in the program and we had a consult that Paul saw who needed a minor procedure done, and I was asked to walk Paul through the procedure. I was very impressed from the start Paul had seen the patient, recognized that she needed an intervention that day and had her set up and all the tools he needed already gathered before I even met the patient. That immediately gave me confidence that I wouldn't even need to glove upland assist him. And he proved me right. He performed the procedure perfectly and throughout it showed his confidence and talked to the patient, keeping her calm and informed of everything he was about to do. I was very impressed and just wanted you to know that you can be proud of Paul and what what he had already accomplished as a young surgeon.

Barker Family:

Paul was a kind soul. He often helped me feel better about myself when I was my own harshest critic. When I was rushing to get to morning conferences, he would look at me, take a deep breath, and say "we'll get there" with a side smile and a twinkle in in his eye. We often got coffee together, and I was so grateful for a kind and caring friend like Paul. He would crack jokes often, and we laughed so hard sometimes - about crazy intern situations, our intern interactions with patients, and life. He had a wide and bright smile and distinct laugh that built from a diddle to a full laugh. 

After he died, all I could see was his smile and laugh. He laughed with all of us interns so hard the night before he passed. 

He was very very bright. He presented his patients with confidence and was admired and trusted by his fellow interns. The attending who oversee the interns were especially impressed by Paul and how well he presented himself and how easily he answered questions. He was a brilliant doctor. Writing down my thoughts about Paul is difficult. Because I considered him a friend, and because I thought I would be calling him and asking for advice in the future, it is hard to believe he isn't going to be at work every morning. 

Your son, and your brother, was such a wonderful person, as you know. When he saw that I was struggling, he walked over and gave me a pair of needle drivers, and he showed me how to hold them properly. He shared his glory moments in the OR, even when he really wanted to make the cut or use the boo or sew the incision. I will remember him forever, and I will hold him in high regard. Your family is in my prayers.

Sitting around, remembering Paul. Great views, and great stories.

Really enjoyed spending time with Paul's friends and sharing stories. Grateful to spend time on South Mountain, have a lot of memories there. Will miss you a ton Paul and think about you when I hike.

I can't believe Paul is going to be laid to rest this weekend. As one of my best friends in medical school it pains me to hear of the horrible news. I hope that our time spent together was an escape from all that pained him. Whether that was climbing, photography, the Air Force or just hanging out, we always had a good time. Paul was a man dedicated to his craft. Anything he liked he mastered. Many times over the last 3 years my life was in his hands as he belayed me climbing- and I never once doubted his abilities. He guided me through much of the anticipation for my future with the Air Force. We had shared many hours together navigating the virtual solar system in KSP. I admired his ingenuity- always coming up with a viable solution to the problem at hand. Paul will be sorely missed. We hadn already planned to meet up to go climbing, and now this. Rest In Peace Paul and I wish your family the best- we are all heartbroken.

Lucky to have shared a lot of laughs, stories, and Discovery Room eye-rolls with this genuine soul. Rest in the peace you so deserve, my friend.

To my very first friend in medical school and fellow Airman - thank for easing what was a tough transition for me. Thinking about you and your family, Paul. I feel lucky to have known you. I salute you. May you Rest in Peace.

I will miss him very much. He was a wonderful mixture of curmudgeon and kind heartedness. Sincere and dependable. I loved laughing with him. He understood and appreciated weirdness, not so easy to find in this world. May you be at peace, Paul. Love to Paul's family.

Paul was one of my best friends for the better part of the last 4 years. I have missed him since he left Wisconsin, and I will continue to miss him for the rest of my life. Paul and I explored many places in Milwaukee & Wisconsin; shared a trip to New Orleans, and spent the day at six flags riding roller coasters.  We went on hikes to see the leaves change colors, went to the museum for body worlds and a butterfly exhibit (where he chased a butterfly around for 20 minutes in hopes of getting it to open it's wings), we went stargazing during a meteor shower in a random field in the middle of nowhere (and saw nothing), went stargazing again for a meteor shower where we snuck into a state park to climb a watchtower (he wanted to try out his new flash and take tree picture. He nearly blinded both me and himself) (also saw nothing), and we went to The House on the Rock because his favorite book was set there. We were both in awe of the creepiness of that place. But every where we went Paul would always be taking pictures, and relying on me to guide the way. He would always leave the plans to me, saying "I don't care, you decide." That would drive me crazy, because he would still seem to have an opinion about my choice of restaurant and attraction/activity. 

There are so many memories I have of Paul and ways he has shaped my life. There are memories that are good, some that are not so good, and some that are just downright embarrassing for me (which he loved) 

Here are some of the good ones:

We were in a perpetual cycle of feeding each other cactus habit. Many times I would go to the garden store, and be texting him while I was there, and he would want to know where I was so he could hit that store later. We made a couple trip together, which was never a good thing and always meant lots of new cacti. 

We often played scrabble and he had a real talent for blocking off the board and making it so I had to leave him a triple word score to play on. 

The day I adopted my dog, I got into a car accident. After my parents, he was the first person I contacted. He asked if I was ok, and ended up coming over to my house the first night, not only to meet the puppy, but to make sure I was ok. 

There was one time where his stubbornness really showed. We were driving in my car, and as he was reaching for the seat belt, I asked him to put his seat belt on. Well... He then stopped and refused to put the seatbelt on and we had to listen to the car beep for the next 10 minutes. 

The first set of texts I ever got from him were pictures that he took on a climbing trip. And those picture never stopped.  I would get pictures of landscapes, rock &ice formations, pictures from Christmas hikes and trips with his sister. I would share picture of my trips with him. But the pictures didn't stop at landscapes. I would constantly get pictures of bruises, scrapes, cuts that he sustained. Hand that had won at cards against humanity and high scoring scrabble words. One day my phone exploded with texts. All close up pictures of him with 5 different pairs of glasses. He wanted help finding the right pair. If I had known I wouldn't have many pictures of him I would have kept those. 

I could always entice him to come over for a bonfire. I only wish he could sit and enjoy it. Most of the time he was running back and forth to the log pile trying to keep the fire roaring. I never had enough wood for fires with him. 

The things I will miss most about Paul is how he had the ability to lighten my day with a random text. That he believed I could do things I didn't think I could. That he was someone I could text at anytime and typically get a response back fairly soon. I will miss our shared love of cacti and the excitement when there was new growth or a flower. I will miss our talks about nothing and everything. Overall I will miss Paul.

I am so sorry for your loss.  My prayers are with your family during this time.  Your Keesler family is here if you have any needs.

Dear Patti, Phil, & Katie,
We were so shocked to hear about his passing and we are wishing you peace and love during this difficult time. You and Paul are all in our prayers! With love Kim & Jason Mostoller.

Paul, our Keesler family will miss you dearly.  Thank you for your service to our country.  God bless you and your family.  Rest in peace my friend...

Paul, you were a great friend, and our intern family at Keesler will never be quite the same without you. We miss you every day. May you rest in the sweetest peace.

Patti, Phil and Katie:

Our hearts go out to you.   Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you and may Paul  rest in peace in Heaven.     Mike and Pat McIntyre

Paul will be greatly missed. Wonderful colleague and person. So sorry that this happened. He will be greatly missed.

He was an outstanding young man and will be truly missed. Our deepest sympathy goes out to you. You will be in our prayers.

I am so sorry, my friend. My heart breaks for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Oh my gosh Katie! Words can't express the sorrow I have for you! May he rest in peace now!

So incredibly sorry Katie. Thoughts and prayers

My condolences to you and your whole family Katie sending love and prayers your way.

So sorry for your loss. Prayers and love to you and yours.

I'm am so deeply sorry for your loss Katie Barker
My heart and prayers are with you and your family right now.

Katie this news is terrible! Our family is thinking of you.

So sorry for your loss Katie Barker!! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!!

I have no words. I will miss him greatly. I'm so sorry for you and your family.

Oh Katie I am so sorry for your loss!!!!! My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family!

I'm so sorry Katie. Sending prayers to you and your family!

Sending you a big hug. I'm so sorry about the loss of your brother.

So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Oh Katie. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family. May your brother rest easy.

You and your family are in heart, Katie. I'm sending you so much strength and love right now.

 I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers with you and your family.

I am so sorry for your loss. My family has been affected by such a loss. You and your family are in my prayers. Please let Mike and I know if there is anything we can do.

 Oh Katie- I'm so sorry. Praying for you and your family.

Katie, I am so sorry for you loss. Please let me know if you need anything. Words can't explain how you feel right now, but I am here for you.

 I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending love and prayers to you and your family.❤

Truly one of the most genuine people I knew in Med school. I looked forward to our conversations sitting next to each other the first 2 years. My sincere thoughts to all his family and friends....his loss is devastating.

I'm so sorry Katie... My thoughts and prayers are with you

So sorry for your loss, sending up prayers for you and the family.

Please know you're not alone. You are very much loved. Everyone on here is grieving with you and loves you and will not let you go through this alone.

My sincere condolences to you and your family Katie xoxo

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs, strength, and positive thoughts to you and your family during this difficult time.

I am so so so heartbroken to hear this! Sending love and wishes of peace to you and your family.

OBITUARY

Paul Henry Barker

10 December, 1985 – 10 August, 2016

A.L. Moore-Grimshaw Mortuaries Bethany Chapel

Show your support

Add a Memory

Share Obituary

Get Updates

Services