Norma Holt Townsend

Ruth Norma Townsend was born on July 29, 1929 in Ganges on Salt Spring Island. She spent her youth, with her beloved sister Shirley, on Salt Spring until she finished school and headed to the city of Victoria to complete her Teacher Training course and become the 2nd in what is now a 4 generation teaching family.

Upon completion of her teaching certificate, Norma packed her bags and headed north where she began her first job as a teacher in a one room school in Reid Lake.

Shortly after, Norma met the love of her life, Robert (Bob) Chandler Townsend. They wed on August 15, 1950 and began a life of love and adventure together, during which they brought four children into the world. Together, Bob and Norma lived a life full of passion, tenderness and adventure, until Norma was widowed in 1990.

Norma was predeceased by her husband Bob, sister Shirley Wandio and son-in-law Terry Stibbs.

Norma is lovingly grieved by son and daughter-in-law, Robert Brent & Loraine Townsend; daughters & son-in-laws, Norma Sheri and George Braun; Lissa Dawn Townsend and Fred Delph; and daughter Shirley Kim Townsend , as well as many friends and family including her beloved niece Debi Shalaby and family.

She also leaves behind her three grandchildren George Chandler Braun and wife Cindie-Eve Bourassa-Braun, Shayla Ruth Colburn and husband James Colburn and Brandi Nicole Townsend.

Also her four great grandchildren, who lovingly remember her as ‘Nana’, Ashin Ruth Colburn (5) Zohie Shayla Colburn (4), Zahra Madeline Braun (3) and Ella Roberta Braun (9 wks)

Norma Townsend has been dearly loved and will be greatly missed.

We don’t really get to know our parents until later in life, there is so much more than the narrow view we take away as their kids. This was especially true when Mom would talk about some of the challenges we weren’t aware of, or when she shared family stories we only remembered through young eyes. When reflecting on all the adventure she had to navigate in her many roles as wife, mother, sister, teacher, grandmother and great grandmother a few traits stand out:

- courage

- compassion

- inner strength

- … and a little goofy streak

Courage

I had heard stories about her first teaching assignment but it wasn’t until I had lived through a few challenges of my own that I could begin to appreciate them. At age 19 Mom left her comfortable little world on Salt Spring Island to take a teaching job in Reid Lake, a rough rural area near Prince George. The first year she had to walk a couple of miles each way to the school in all kinds of weather. Then she had to try to teach grades 1-9 in the same room. Some of the students weren’t much younger than she was. Far from home, no support network and still a teenager herself. I have to marvel at the raw courage it must have taken to overcome all the personal and professional challenges of those first two years but they provided a great foundation for a teaching career that spanned three decades.

Next our father entered the picture. It took a while for their relationship to gain traction but when it did it grew into something truly special. A 40 year love affair sustained by genuine mutual respect and something elegantly basic … through thick and thin Mom and Dad simply enjoyed each other’s company. In later years, when the challenges that come with four kids started to taper off, the two of them spent countless weekends exploring in their camper. We often marveled at Mom’s tolerance for the 500 mile weekends.

After they were married Dad started his own sawmill business north of Prince George. As was the standard through their lives they faced the challenge together. Dad built a rough camp style house on skids so it could be towed by a bulldozer when necessary. There she was, a Salt Spring Island girl in the bush with no running water or indoor plumbing. It was under these circumstances Mom had her first two children. Imagine the courage it took to go through two pregnancies 50 miles of muddy road from the nearest hospital and then manage newborns under these Spartan conditions.

Major changes roiled the logging industry and the mill had to be liquidated. The family of four moved into Prince George. Mom went back to teaching and daughter number two came into the picture. Lissa had a bit of a wild streak that helped add more stories to Mom’s growing repertoire. Mom and Dad had always wanted their own house and eventually bought a comfortable home a few miles north of Prince George. Not long after daughter number three, Kim, was born and the family was complete.

We were the luckiest kids. Mom and Dad worked hard and dealt with all the challenges while we enjoyed the comfort and security of a happy home knowing each of us had their love and support. That foundation has set the standard for how we treat the important people in our lives and has kept us connected despite our radically different paths.

Inner strength

There were many times during her teaching career when Mom worked with kids who had to go home to rough conditions. She never let herself become demoralized and instead focused on how she could have a positive impact in her role as teacher. We knew it was hard for her but it wasn’t until she had to face the loss of her husband years later did we see how strong the gentle little lady could be.

For several years Mom and Dad had been spending winters in their comfortable little place near Palm Springs. The mountains surrounding Indio spoke to Dad’s irrepressible connection with the outdoors and he loved to hike high above the valley. On one of these hikes he died suddenly leaving his life long partner and friend to fend for herself. It was a devastating blow but with the support of her second best friend, sister Shirley, and all of those who loved her Mom summoned the strength to go on and try to get as much out of life as she could. Her grandchildren, Shayla, George Jr and Brandi loved to visit her new place in Penticton. There are fond memories of swimming in the lake and walking with Grandma to the ice cream store in town.

During the years after Dad’s passing Mom’s special bond with Shirley played a huge role in her recovery. They were different in many ways but adoring sisters to the end. When Shirley passed away it was almost all Mom could bear, but somehow once again she found the inner strength to take her life back as best she could. She especially appreciated the support of Shirley’s daughter her loving niece Debi.

Compassion

In the early seventies Loraine and I were in Bali Indonesia. We took our scooter to meet a man responsible for the local branch of a charity mom had been supporting. The primary goal was to help young people complete their education. We followed him to meet the boy Mom was helping and it was clear her support was making a difference for the whole family. Last year during a visit to Langley I happened to see a letter in Mom’s apartment from her latest child. 40 years later she was still doing her part. She always tried to look past the pessimism and do what she could to help others. It’s only one example of the compassion she felt for those in the world less fortunate than herself.

… and a little bit goofy

A few situations come to mind that illustrate the entertaining side of our Mother.

Mom did her best to get us to church when she could but there weren’t too many options near our house on the Hart Highway. So she took us to a rather informal service that was held in a gymnasium at the local school. Apparently it was standard practice in this particular church to become increasingly vocal as the sermon built. A man started yelling with the passion and intensity one would expect from one of Dad’s logger friends after some mishap … even the words were similar. This started Mom and Aunt Shirley giggling until the two of them were shaking and squeaking in thinly veiled hysterics. We got some great mileage out that little display of inappropriate church behavior.

When I was 17 my good buddy Ruben and I would often end up at our place late Saturday night to raid the fridge. One night we opened the door to find the perfect plate of food but with a big “Don’t Touch” sign on it. It was written in Mom’s most aggressive style with things underlined and lots of exclamation marks, but the signature was the crowning touch. It was signed Mamushka, the endearing name Rube had given her. I think we laughed for a month.

Mom was visiting us in Oregon when Brandi was about 9 years old. I came home from my office to find a note on the counter in Brandi’s handwriting informing me they were at the hospital getting Mom’s broken wrist fixed! It turns out she fell, waited from Brandi to come home from school, and then called a taxi to take them to the hospital. When I arrived and asked why they didn’t call me Mom just said in her sweet way “Oh I didn’t want to bother you at work”. The Doctor gave me a “you must be the worst son ever” look.

Mom’s legacy lives in the personalities of her children and her grandchildren, and she loved to watch her great grandchildren Ashin, Zohie and Zahra follow those footsteps. You could feel the love and pride when she was sharing something that involved any of them. As fate would have it she only met the latest addition, Ella Roberta, through pictures, but those pictures brought a much needed smile over the past few weeks.

I will finish with something from the last time Mom and I spent time together that I think illustrates the kind and caring person she was at her core.

It wasn’t an easy visit, the various health challenges were taking over. On the last night I was able to get her comfortable and arrange things so we could play scrabble. For an hour or so the Mom we know and love was on display once again. She is a good scrabble player and won the first game fair and square. During the second game she started showing me better ways to use Ss and Es and suggested it would be OK to move my letters saying “it’s only a game” … I guess she still felt compelled to protect her 59 year old boy from the emotional stress and humiliation of losing two scrabble games.

From your entire extended family we thank you for your sacrifices and for helping point our moral compasses in the right direction.

Rest in peace dear Mother.