For those who were unable to attend my mother's service, here is the eulogy I wrote for my mom.  ~Marsha

My Mom, Betty Jean Warren

She was born to Royce and Martha Ellen Rider on December 13,1923 in Fort Wayne, Indiana. They were loving parents of nine children. She was the fifth child of nine and grew up during the Depression. I can only imagine what one's definition of sharing would be if one had eight brothers and sisters during those times. What would the experts say about birth order in this case? My guess is that one could not escape being shaped by the experience. Although I do not remember much about her childhood, I witnessed the love that her brothers, sisters, and extended family had for one another. All they needed in order to have a great time was a kitchen table where everyone could gather. They did not need a TV, nor did they have iPads, or iPhones; they just needed to be together so they could share stories of old times.

My Mom was a high school graduate but had dreams of becoming a nurse. Unfortunately, her parents could not financially support her dreams, so she had to work. One of her first jobs was at General Electric working on the assembly line. She worked there until the birth of her first child. I remember her telling me that it was not until her first job that she was able to have clothes that were not "hand-me-downs" from her sisters.

My mother met my dad on a blind date. They had a close circle of friends which included many of mom's siblings. They were married on July 24, 1953. I do not remember stories of their courtship but I do remember sitting with my Mom, looking through photos of their Honeymoon trip to Niagra Falls. Less than three years later, they were blessed with their first child, Kathleen Ellen on April 10,1956. Marsha Diane was born next on February 12, 1958 followed by Donna Jean on November 6,1959. After three girls, I think they desperately wanted a boy. Their dreams came true with the birth of my brother Donald Steven on November 8, 1963.

Raising four children is no easy task, but my mom performed her job with love and devotion. She worked hard to create a comfortable and loving home. She did it all, from making dinners from scratch to sewing matching outfits to home hair cuts. I remember the special effort she put forth planning birthday parties, which were complete with home-baked cakes and entertainment like "Pin the Tail on the Donkey." She tried to make each and every holiday, from Easter to Christmas, a memorable one. She started family traditions. For example, she was the Easter Bunny and Santa all rolled into one. She was always giving of herself and always put others first. She was very frugal when it came to her own needs, but extremely generous with her money and her love when it came to everyone else. I remember fondly summer vacations at Hilton Head, strolling on the beach with her, looking for seashells and sand dollars. Despite her fear of flying, she came to Hawaii because I planned to go; a trip that, in total, required her to take 4 or 5 different flights. This is just another example of her sacrifice to stay connected with me.

It was not until the birth of my only child that I realized and became forever grateful for everything that my mother had done for me, especially the self sacrifice that was given so freely and without a second thought. She even came to help me with Monica soon after her birth. It was not until I had the responsibility of being a parent myself that I heard many of the lessons that my mother taught me echoing in my brain. Just a reminder that I was listening even when that was in question.

A wise acquaintance of mine once told me that one doesn't get to where one is in life without standing on the shoulders of someone else. So Mom, thanks for the great view, the lessons learned, the love, and the sacrifices. I am truly blessed to have you for my mother. I only hope that I can be as good of a role model for Monica. I will cherish and hold tight my memories of you until we see each other again. And remember "I love you more!"

The Staff and Physicians of Infectious Diseases Specialists of Virginia, LLC send our deepest condolences to both the Soni and Warren families. As long as you remember your Mama and grand Mama, she is not gone but alive in your heart. Our prayers are with you.

For those who could not attend...here is my eulogy for Mama.

Standing at this podium I struggle with how to tell you who my mother is. It is such a short amount of time to try to encapsulate the impact of her 88 years. There will be no past tense in this discussion because I know she is watching and reviewing this as I speak, so I better get it right.  I am not sure I ever totally understood my mother, she and I are very different people. She is complexly simple â€“ and yes, that may sound like a paradox, but that was Mama.
Wikipedia's definition of a mother is as follows â€“ â€œa mother is a woman who has raised a child, given birth to a child, and/or supplied the ovum that united with a sperm which grew into a child. Because of the complexity and differences of a mother's social, cultural, religious definitions and roles, it is challenging to specify a universally acceptable definition for the term.â€ No kidding, that said nothing about who my mother really isâ€¦
I remember:
Warm, soft, reassuring hugs when I needed them most 
Lovingly baked birthday cakes with my favorite ice cream 
Gentle healing hands - rubbing Noxzema on sunburnt backs
The best back rubs, for hours I might add  (I would beg for them to continue for all long as she could hold on) 
Hearty comfort food made from scratchâ€¦moot, pot roast with mash potatoes and gravy, chicken and noodlesâ€¦
Watching my first boyfriend teach her how to make Italian pasta from scratch because she wanted to learn how to create it authentically
Handwritten shared family recipe cards that I will always cherish (you know the kind â€“ family secret recipes, like mouth waters which are chocolate cream cheese chocolate chips cupcakes)
Quizzes in Spanish on Spanish, even though she didn't know it herself, doing anything to help us excel in school
Delivering the beloved family pet's puppies with the gentle understanding and kindness that was so Mama  
Sewing matching outfits for her three girls and their faithful sidekick Donnie, with coordinating ensemble
Handmade Goinks â€“ which are stuff toys - odd egg shaped little men with big hands, each one customized and different per child, and everyone got one.
Oil paintings of westerns, flowers, bowls of fruit and clowns, meticulously painted 

 
But what I remember most were the sacrificesâ€¦.  
She was extremely frugal and anyone who has ever shopped with her knows about her multiple envelopes filing system, so she was guaranteed to have just the right amount of money for each item she had planned. There are drawers in the kitchen fully stuffed with items that would be an egregious offense to part with, like rubber bands, foil scraps, baby food jars, and lids from every kind of container known to man. And do you know why â€“ â€œcause you never know when you might need it.â€ 
She was very cautious with her money. I remember when she told me about all the hand-me-downs of her youth, coming from a family of nine children and a father who worked three jobs to feed them. My mother is a depression era survivor. She told tell me about the days she walked home from school in second hand shoes so worn that they had cardboard inserts to cover the holes in the soles.  My mother knew the value of a dollar.
And remember I said she was a paradox, well as cautious as she was with her money, she was incredibly generous. She saved so she could give to those she loved, and she loved her family. She so often sacrificed what she needed so we could have what she didn't have during her childhood. She wanted our dreams to come true, supporting us as we started our journey to college and beyond. I will never forget her reluctant tearful goodbyes in the driveway of our home before making that 16 hour journey back to Baylor University each semester.  Motherhood was a position that was very dear to her heart. Speaking as one of her children, I knew I was loved and if I ever needed her, no matter what, she would be there for me.
She helped when she could, grieved when she couldn't and prayed with the ferocity of a mother lion.  She once told me that the only thing she ever really wanted out of life was a husband and children. I was fortunate to have her as my mother.
Dear mama, know that you will be sorely missed. No one can replace you in our hearts.
Rest now and take comfort in the fact that I will try to remember all you have taught me and will be a good mother to my children. I have a very good example to follow.
With all my love, until I see you againâ€¦

This is the eulogy that I gave at my mother's service for those who were unable to attend...

Standing at this podium I struggle with how to tell you who my mother is. It is such a short amount of time to try to encapsulate the impact of her 88 years. There will be no past tense in this discussion because I know she is watching and reviewing this as I speak, so I better get it right.  I am not sure I ever totally understood my mother, she and I are very different people. She is complexly simple – and yes, that may sound like a paradox, but that was Mama.
Wikipedia's definition of a mother is as follows – “a mother is a woman who has raised a child, given birth to a child, and/or supplied the ovum that united with a sperm which grew into a child. Because of the complexity and differences of a mother's social, cultural, religious definitions and roles, it is challenging to specify a universally acceptable definition for the term.” No kidding, that said nothing about who my mother really is…
I remember:
Warm, soft, reassuring hugs when I needed them most 
Lovingly baked birthday cakes with my favorite ice cream 
Gentle healing hands - rubbing Noxzema on sunburnt backs
The best back rubs, for hours I might add  (I would beg for them to continue for all long as she could hold on) 
Hearty comfort food made from scratch…moot, pot roast with mash potatoes and gravy, chicken and noodles…
Watching my first boyfriend teach her how to make Italian pasta from scratch because she wanted to learn how to create it authentically
Handwritten shared family recipe cards that I will always cherish (you know the kind – family secret recipes, like mouth waters which are chocolate cream cheese chocolate chips cupcakes)
Quizzes in Spanish on Spanish, even though she didn't know it herself, doing anything to help us excel in school
Delivering the beloved family pet's puppies with the gentle understanding and kindness that was so Mama  
Sewing matching outfits for her three girls and their faithful sidekick Donnie, with coordinating ensemble
Handmade Goinks – which are stuff toys - odd egg shaped little men with big hands, each one customized and different per child, and everyone got one.
Oil paintings of westerns, flowers, bowls of fruit and clowns, meticulously painted 

 
But what I remember most were the sacrifices….  
She was extremely frugal and anyone who has ever shopped with her knows about her multiple envelopes filing system, so she was guaranteed to have just the right amount of money for each item she had planned. There are drawers in the kitchen fully stuffed with items that would be an egregious offense to part with, like rubber bands, foil scraps, baby food jars, and lids from every kind of container known to man. And do you know why – “cause you never know when you might need it.” 
She was very cautious with her money. I remember when she told me about all the hand-me-downs of her youth, coming from a family of nine children and a father who worked three jobs to feed them. My mother is a depression era survivor. She told tell me about the days she walked home from school in second hand shoes so worn that they had cardboard inserts to cover the holes in the soles.  My mother knew the value of a dollar.
And remember I said she was a paradox, well as cautious as she was with her money, she was incredibly generous. She saved so she could give to those she loved, and she loved her family. She so often sacrificed what she needed so we could have what she didn't have during her childhood. She wanted our dreams to come true, supporting us as we started our journey to college and beyond. I will never forget her reluctant tearful goodbyes in the driveway of our home before making that 16 hour journey back to Baylor University each semester.  Motherhood was a position that was very dear to her heart. Speaking as one of her children, I knew I was loved and if I ever needed her, no matter what, she would be there for me.
She helped when she could, grieved when she couldn't and prayed with the ferocity of a mother lion.  She once told me that the only thing she ever really wanted out of life was a husband and children. I was fortunate to have her as my mother.
Dear mama, know that you will be sorely missed. No one can replace you in our hearts.
Rest now and take comfort in the fact that I will try to remember all you have taught me and will be a good mother to my children. I have a very good example to follow.
With all my love, until I see you again…

OBITUARY

Betty J. Warren

13 December, 1923 – 16 May, 2012

Winkenhofer Pine Ridge Funeral Home and Memorial Park

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