For those who knew our story, we met years ago and have known each other for a very long time.
It all started in Elementary School. I grew up being a tomboy and enjoyed playing basketball with all the boys. Arturo was one of the popular kids and knew everyone including the security staff. He played every sport. Whether it was basketball, baseball, handball, flag football or even tether ball.
I met Arturo during recess. Both of us were extremely competitive towards each other and loved shooting 3-point shots. We played each other during recess.
During our basketball games, I would hear all the boys talk about a new girl and how pretty she was during our games and how obsessed they all were because she shaved her legs. Surprisingly, I wasn’t allowed to shave my legs and I also didn’t have time to think about shaving any legs. All I wanted to do was play basketball. So, when I would hear Arturo talk about this new girl, I would just roll my eyes and remind everyone “Let’s play!”
We also had the chance to be in the same class during 6th grade. When time allowed, I would bribe him with snacks in the morning so I can copy his math homework since we sat next to each other.
During our math test, our teacher would have us cover our test with binders so no one would copy. But I would kick Arturo underneath the table and ask him to move his folder so I could copy, and he did. We were best friends, and he was always so smart.
We played M.A.S.H together, which predicts one’s life future. The day I was playing, he looked at my husband’s prediction names and demanded for me not to include his name as my husband. But me being me, I smiled, and I included his name just to make him angry.
Our last day of Elementary School, I begged my parents to have a sleepover just me and my friends which was mainly boys and few girls. The only problem was my dad never allowed me to have boys over. So asked my brother Freddy to please help and tell my parents that the boys who are coming over are his friends, and he did.
We had so much fun. My baby was always the life of the party. His dance moves were amazing, and I was always so proud to call him my best friend.
During our Middle School Year, both of us separated and attended different schools but when I enrolled in high school, we crossed paths again. Both of us attended Rubidoux High School. I will never forget our first day as a freshman. Our eyes locked in when we saw each other.
We asked each other how things were. At that time, I stopped being a tomboy. I cared how I looked and enjoyed having the attention. However, somehow, my eyes would always go back to the little girl playing basketball. How happy she was and how carefree she felt when playing.
I decided to enroll in H.S. basketball without knowing my baby was doing the same thing.
Both of us would cross each other’s path again during afterschool games. His smile so bright and mine so dry of not wanting to show any emotion. All I did was laugh inside my heart without him knowing.
He always tried to make me smile. He did everything in his power to grab my attention without me knowing that he wanted to be with me. His personality, his huge heart, his smile, his loving self is what made me fall in love with him.
For those who knew us for a very long time will say, we were Ronnie and Sammie from Jersey Shore. He was the tough guy, who danced, had a great personality, enjoyed making people laugh and could get any girl he wanted. I was Sammie, the girl who is stubborn, never smiles, stays in a corner but has a huge heart.
As years passed, he proposed on Valentine’s Day and months later, I got pregnant with our first child Natalia. I will never forget how much he cried and how helpful he was too me as a man when she was born. A few years later, our second child Emilia was born. Our 3-year-old has my attitude and Natalia is just like her dad. Very loving and has so many friends.
We never made it to our wedding. He always wanted to get married, but I was too busy trying to build our foundation. He never stopped me from going to school. He never stopped me from wanting to dream big. He never stopped me from wanting to work 24/7. He was my supporter, my best friend, and my better half.
Arturo is and will always be a great father to his little girls and it is my duty to share these memories with our children. My heart is shattered. I want to vomit, I want to cry, I want to stop breathing but I am trying so hard to continue to fight for us and our kids. I see my daughters and I see him.
My love,
I know we talked a few months ago that if something happened to you, you wanted Banda and you rather be cremated because it’s less expensive. Well, I got you your Banda and I am also not cremating you or putting you in the ground. You deserve the world.
I know showing you all of this will not bring you back home but at least it will show you how much you are loved. I wish I can be with you right now. I wish I can remind you how much I love you and how much you mean the world to me and our children. These past couple of weeks, I have been wanting to take my life away to just be with you and hold you and tell you that I am here. But with the help of my loved ones, our kids and God, I can’t. I have to be patient and finish what God has planned for us.
For now, I am here to say:
I promise to be the best mom for our kids. To love as much as I can and to be patient when times get hard. I miss you with all my heart and it is hard knowing that I won’t wake up hearing your alarm go off for work. Hearing your crane during working hours, hearing your truck pull up with your load corrido music and most importantly seeing/hearing our babies yell “Papi!!!” when you open the door.
You are and will always be the love of my life. “Crazy enough that I already reserved my burial plot next to yours and I made sure you are in a corner where no other women will be next to you.”
I am hurting. I want you and I just pray that wherever you are, you can sometimes get the chance to visit us. My life has completely changed without you, and I will try my hardest to keep us going.
You always told me that you wore your heart in your sleeve and you did. You loved me and our kids so much. You never cared what anyone’s reaction was when you expressed your love to me. You never cared who was watching when you kissed me. You never cared to show how great of a father you were to our kids. You were the tickle monster and our Papi.
Thank you for loving me, Natalia, and Emilia so much and being the best husband, father, anyone can ask for. I promise to be faithful to you and show our kids how much of a great papi you were to them. No one will ever take your place. You will always have my heart.
I love you.
From your wife Esperanza Colon
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