BARBARA ANN HAY ROSS, 90, of Germantown, TN passed away on June 24, 2024, leaving a loss in our lives that cannot be replaced—there will never be another like her—loving, caring, forgiving. She grew up in Ellendale, TN before moving to Highland Heights, where she was a member of Highland Heights Baptist Church. Before marrying and moving to the family farm on Ross Road, she transferred her membership to Capleville Methodist Church where she married Jones Ross and raised their children. In later years, they moved to Germantown and transferred their membership to Germantown United Methodist Church.
She was preceded in death by her husband of 55 years, Jones (Bub) Wesley Ross, Jr., sister Betty Henry, brother, Neil Hay and parents, Lee & Pauline Hay. She will be greatly missed by her sister, Paula Hay Rawson, daughters: Sandra Ross Rutledge (Chuck); Sharon Louisa Ross; Elizabeth Ross Littlefield (Morris); Four grandchildren: Rheagan Rutledge Harris (Philip), Ross Dilliard Rutledge, Tyler Ross Littlefield (Lauren), Hannah Malone Littlefield and four great-grandchildren, Austin William Harris, Blake Malone Harris, Gray O’Malley Rutledge and Sawyer Ross Rutledge. As a devoted aunt, she will be greatly missed by her 14 nieces and nephews, 20 great nieces and nephews and 23 great-great nieces and nephews. Niece, Ashley Cudak, deserves special recognition for faithfully calling her Aunt Barbara every single day for over six months to make sure she took her daily meds. She also leaves a host of family and friends, including her best friend, Irma Hassell and neighbor, Edna Sperling.
There is no way that an obituary can do justice to the person who was Barbara Ross. “She was the best of us.” “To know her was to love her. . .she was witty and kind and one of the best people I know.” She spent 90 years enriching peoples’ lives. Her one-year stint in nurses training following high school ended because at that time you could not be married and be a nurse, so she quit to get married. Nursing did become second nature to her however, and she began a life of kindness and caregiving. She was the best of caregivers to her husband, Bub, and her friends, including Rosalyn Fortune, for whom she lovingly prepared meals.
She certainly will be remembered for her contagious laugh and her unique way with words, quirky sounds and sayings (think along the lines of Betty Boop) but she was dependable to a fault and wore many hats.
“Chef” Barbara was the master of all dishes, but her special chicken salad, pimento cheese, dressing and pecan pies brought smiles to all her family and friends.
“Writer” Barbara wrote letters when no one else did—she sent you cards and emails of encouragement or for simply no reason at all.
“Worker” Barbara went to work later in life when she needed to and became a master at custom framing, working at The Lighthouse Gallery for best friends, Joyce and Buddy Kelso.
“Seamstress” Barbara sewed beautifully for her home, children and grandchildren—teaching them the best she could to follow in her footsteps.
“Sharing and Caring” Barbara had tea parties for her grands and great-grands, taught them basic stitches, numerous card games and some basic kitchen skills—biscuit making, plum jelly making, corn shucking and pea shelling.
“Friend” Barbara was fierce and loyal—her best friends being her “Bunco Babes.” They started rolling the dice in 1953. She and a dozen of her fellow graduates of Treadwell High School made up the group and remained friends for over 70 years.
In later life, she had multiple health issues surviving numerous bouts with breast cancer and kidney problems. She took tons of medicine and had more doctors’ visits than anyone should have to endure. Instead of complaining, she made friends with all her doctors, nurses and their staff, demonstrating her wit and willingness to follow their guidance and instructions. They loved her in return.
She used her faith, her Al-Anon support experience, which relied strongly on “The Serenity Prayer,” and her “it is what it is” mantra to get through any and all problems with grace.
Aunt Betty, Barbara’s sister-in-law, once said that if angels were on earth, she had a set of wings. She did here on earth and she does now in heaven, without her cane but probably underneath her blanket (she was always cold). To quote Emilla Larson, “If someone in your life is wonderfully like an angel to you, it’s important to let them know. It’s the nicest compliment you could ever give. . .in all the days of your life and in all the years that you live.”
Memorial contributions may be made to:
West Cancer Foundation
National Kidney Foundation
