James Ralph Cave (Jim) of Clinton, CT was called home into God’s loving arms on December 20, 2024 – after a life well-lived serving his country, his customers, his town, and his family and friends. Jim’s final days were spent surrounded by family, loving caregivers, and visited by best friends and grandchildren, some from hundreds and thousands of miles away - in the home he built with his own hands for his family in the early 1960’s. Jim was predeceased by his wife of 67 years, Mary, on September 17, 2023, with whom he is now reunited in God’s loving embrace.
Jim was born in New Haven, CT and raised in North Haven CT the youngest of five children of John and Jessie (Shillito) Cave. Jim’s youth represented the first of many defining moments in his life – growing up during The Great Depression drove a frugalness and work ethic throughout his life, seeing the example of his brothers go off to and return from war led him to serve his country, and growing up in an era during which community and family sacrifice - and service to the broader good - was the expectation and how he lived his life.
A gifted student and athlete, Jim attended Hamden Hall on scholarship where he excelled academically and was a three-sport star. His diverse talents even extended to dramatic productions - where he earned the lead role of Ferdinand in Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” - and in business leadership where he served as advertising manager of the school’s “Perennial Pine” yearbook. Jim was graduated from Hamden Hall with Honors in the Spring of 1949.
Jim next enrolled at The University of Connecticut – the first and only member of his family to attend college – the following fall. With the outbreak of Korean Conflict in June of 1950, Jim felt the tug of service that had been a family tradition and interrupted his college education the following fall, enrolling in the United States Air Force in October of 1951. Jim progressed through basic training at Sampson AFB in Geneva, NY and Scott AFB in Belleville, IL to be trained as a radio communications service technician – but scoring honors in all his coursework at Scott, he was among a small group of servicemen selected by the U.S. Strategic Air Command – the Air Force’s nuclear strike force - to serve as a communications officer on a new fleet of strategic bombers – the B-36 “Peacemaker”. The B-36 was the largest aircraft ever commissioned by the Air Force and its payload was a single atomic bomb. Jim trained with others so selected at Walker AFB in Roswell, NM and then joined the main fleet of the aircraft stationed at Loring AFB in Limestone/Caribou, ME. Jim was honorably-discharged in September 1955 – and began his private sector career with continued aptitude in sales – at Sears - while resuming his college education, this time attending Quinnipiac College in New Haven, CT, on a part-time basis.
It was during this time that Jim met and pursued a beautiful young woman – Mary Fazzino – who worked at the candy counter at Sears. Imagine the surprise when Jim and Mary bumped into one another one day on their way to work, discovering they both were renting apartments on the same street! Mary finally relented to Jim’s pursuits for a date – and that began a love affair that continues to this day; Jim and Mary were married on August 25, 1956 and began life in Middletown, CT where first, their daughter Cindy was born, followed a couple of years later by son Daniel. Attending college at night, Jim completed his studies and earned his Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from Quinnipiac in June, 1959.
Jim was a self-taught, lifelong learner. His father was a woodworking instructor and Jim worked in construction trades some summers, and in the early 1960’s purchased property in Clinton and began to work nights and weekends to fulfill his dream of constructing – and owning - a home for his growing family. After moving into the home in the early 1960’s while continuing to work on the finish carpentry, Jim and Mary added a third child, daughter Renita. By this time, Jim had moved on from retail sales and held a position as a Manufacturer’s Representative for commercial and residential plumbing and heating manufacturers where he even convinced his client to allow him to attend service technician school – firmly believing that the knowledge of how boilers operated, the ability to take them apart and reassemble, set them up, “fire” them, repair them and fine tune them for optimal efficiency would make him a better salesman. It did. Jim’s knowledge and skills encompassed virtually all aspects of house-building – concrete foundations, framing, roofing, plumbing, electrical wiring, finish carpentry, drywall finishing, painting, etc. – and his family and friends always remarked how he could “fix anything”.
Jim was unique – wearing a suit and tie during the day but putting on his tool belt at night to help friends and family with house remodeling, heating repairs, and virtually any type of project. Word spread and this work – “moonlighting” as it was called then – became a supplemental source of income for Jim to support his family and fulfill his dream of having all of his children receive college educations. The projects were many – as in the mid-late 1960’s he had added a second house in Clinton – a “fixer-upper” that he refurbished and turned into a rental property. This was followed by his beloved camp in Sunapee, NH in 1970 – a 400 sq. ft. “poster-child” of a “fixer-upper” that was used first by his young family, then his children and grandchildren for decades. Jim’s frugalness and hard work resulted in his ownership of 4 pieces of real estate before the age of 40 – all earned, none gifted. Other “fixer-uppers” included homes he refurbished with and for family members and friends; maintenance work on deer hunting locations (he was an avid hunter) including his friend’s family’s old farmhouse in Maine; camps he rented in Maine; and “work weekends” at a United Methodist camp in New York state. The work even extended to a “lift” (aka – an “elevator”) at his beloved United Methodist Church in Clinton.
Not surprisingly, Jim had yet more learning and service to do in “retirement”. Too busy to truly sit still, Jim studied to become a state-certified sub-surface sanitation inspector and took a job with the Town of Clinton, CT as a sanitation inspector. He rapidly saw inefficiencies not only in the department he had responsibility for, but throughout town government. Jim developed a reputation as a no-nonsense leader and a relentless fixer of government administration problems. Despite being a lifelong registered “Independent” voter -- he was recruited by the Republican party to run for First Selectman, and was elected to the office in November, 1981. True to form, Jim was not partial to any political party or politics in general – he saw problems and fixed them, directly and quickly – much as he did with home repairs. It did not matter to Jim whether you were a Democrat, Republican or Independent – if you had good ideas and worked to serve the public’s best interest – Jim would work with you and for you.
Moving back into “retirement”, Jim continued serving others. His generosity now included helping many grandchildren with their schooling and their cars and attending countless sporting events, dance recitals and musical concerts.
Jim’s life was defined by sacrifice and service. In an increasingly “me-first” world, his was a life first of sacrifice – not so that he might own a fancy house or car – but rather, to be frugal so as to put his children through college and help them get started in life. This same service and sacrifice extended to friends – he would immediately run to their assistance at any hour of the day or night to address their household emergencies, or assist them with remodeling projects and the like. Later in life – the sacrifice and service extended to grandchildren – helping them get started in life in much the same way he did with his own children.
Jim leaves behind his daughter Cindy (Fromme) and her husband Joe of Clinton; son Daniel Cave and his wife MaryBeth of Glastonbury, CT, and daughter Renita (Reid) of Waterford, Connecticut. He was predeceased by brothers Jack and Charles and sisters Jessie (Miller) and Grace (Lawton). The legacy of Jim’s life of service and sacrifice also lives on first in his 12 grandchildren, 4 grandchildren “in-law”, and 5 great-grandchildren, all of who affectionately, lovingly, and permanently know him as “Papa”, and also in his friends and the countless people he helped with his vast array of skills over decades.
Jim’s family will hold calling hours at Swan Funeral Home at 80 East Main Street, Clinton, CT on Sunday, January 5, 2024 from 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Jim’s celebration of life service will be held at 10:30 a.m. on Monday, January 6, 2024 at the United Methodist Church at 12 Commerce Street in Clinton, CT. Following the church service, Jim’s family will host a reception in his honor at The Westbrook Elks Lodge 1784, 142 Seaside Avenue, Westbrook, CT. Interment with full military honors will be held at the Connecticut State Veterans' Cemetery on Bow Lane in Middletown, CT at 1:00 p.m. on Wednesday, January 8, 2024.
In lieu of flowers, family and friends are encouraged to make tax-deductible donations in Jim’s memory to Habitat for Humanity’s Repair Corps program online at https://www.habitat.org/volunteer/near-you/veterans-build/home-depot-repair-corps-program, an organization dedicated to making critical home repairs – free-of-charge – to needy veterans, or to the American Legion Post 66 Building Fund Raiser by sending a check to American Legion PO Box 197 Clinton, CT 06413 or online at https://www.legionpost66.net/.
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