Jil Nelson

Jil Nelson passed away at age 70 on Tuesday, March 28, 2023. She was a beloved mother, grandmother and dear friend to many. She led a life of conviction and generosity, always contributing to causes supporting what she felt was right and sharing ideas and inspiration with those she loved.

What was so special about Jil was the way she made connections with individuals—not just friends but people at the many local businesses she frequented. In her quiet and sometimes quirky way, she got to know people, weaving community around her. She knew about people’s lives and interests, often finding herself the keeper of secrets or the patient advisor.

Many will remember her as an early adopter and regular contributor on social media, where she applied her passion for politics and her visual and linguistic creativity. She helped many local organizations launch and build their Twitter accounts and built relationships with fellow social media mavens far beyond Connecticut. As an endless consumer of content in all its forms, it was not uncommon for Jil to know about an opening in her daughter’s neighbourhood in London or an event at her granddaughter’s school (3,000 miles away) long before they did.

Lesser known was her talent as a visual artist. Her work (initially pastels, more recently collage) was delicate, often featuring the colors and textures she loved. Sometimes she paired her collages with a few words that were clever and full of meaning. She would rarely share her work and when she did, it was with great humility.

Jil was born on February 17, 1953 in New Haven to Joan and Stanley Nelson the second of their four children. She spent her childhood in Deep River with her parents and three brothers and later moved to Chester after marrying Howard Kaplan. Jil cared deeply about her community, dedicating time and resource to issues such as environmental protection, women’s rights and the arts. She was a founding member of the Chester Land Trust in 1987 and continued to support land conservation when she moved to Lyme and joined the Lyme Land Trust’s Board of Directors. Throughout the years, she has been a supporter of the Lyme Academy of Fine Arts, the Democratic Party, the Florence Griswold Museum, the Chester Art Gallery, Safe Futures, numerous small organizations and champion of many young, gifted individuals.

Jil graduated from Wesleyan University in 1983, with a bachelor’s degree in History and later attended Rhode Island School of Design for landscape architecture. But she remained a student in all aspects of her life, breaking Duolingo records for consecutive days studying Italian, learning new techniques for collage, attending lectures, and traveling, sometimes to experience a place as a local for weeks at a time.

Jil loved being a mother and, as of 2018, a grandmother. As with friends, she was a great listener, a champion of education, and a supporter of her family’s pursuits. She travelled regularly with her daughter, and just four weeks before her passing, took a trip to Mexico City that she described as “a highlight of [her] life”. Despite living across the ocean from her granddaughter, they shared many wonderful experiences and inside jokes. The lessons she taught us are numerous and will live on.

Jil is predeceased by her parents and her brother Bruce. She will be deeply missed and celebrated by her daughter Xander, son-in-law Matt, granddaughter Una, brothers Scott and Keith, sisters-in-law Donna and Janet, and her many friends near, far and virtual. Memorial contributions may be made in Jil’s name to The Lyme Land Trust, Everytown for Gun Safety and Connecticut Public Radio.