Barbara S. Handler

Barbara S. Handler of Brookline, Massachusetts, died on March 18, 2023. She was 93-years-old. She was the wife of pioneering, Jimmy Fund Cancer Researcher, Dr. Alfred H. Handler, to whom she was married for 53-years, until his death on December 18, 2005. Barbara leaves behind her daughters Jane M. Handler and Amy R. Handler.

Barbara was beautiful, with eyes that shone her inner sweetness and compassion for others, and this attribute continued throughout her life, even in those last days when she was ill beyond resolve. That is who she was.

Barbara may have looked like a porcelain doll, with her soft-spoken voice, that her husband fell instantly in love with, but she was feisty, fiercely independent, strong, and spoke her mind freely. She was an American History teacher at the notorious, Jeremiah Burke School, in the heart of- Dorchester, where she was raised, before her family moved to Brighton. She also taught at Girls Latin School in Boston, in those days when Latin School was separated by gender. When Barbara and Alfred were newly engaged, some of Barbara’s male students presented her fiancé with a hubcap they had just stolen, as an engagement gift. All Alfred could do was laugh. Alfred later told his children that as tough as those Burke students were, they highly respected, protected and loved their teacher, and again, that was who she was.

“When I was growing up, and always getting into mischief, my mother always knew what I was thinking and prepared to do---even when her back was turned. I asked her how she did that, and she said she had eyes in the back of her head---and I believed her,” said her daughter, Amy.

Barbara and Alfred Handler were one of those rare couples who were even more in love with each other in their 53 rd year, as they were in their 1 st. Part of what made their marriage work, was that they also liked doing everything together and they respected each other. And as daughter, Jane, remarked, “After a discussion that may have put them at odds, they never went to bed, mad at each other.” And as alike as they were, both being a curious mixture of half-shy and half-outgoing, and both being artistically creative, and extremely funny without trying--- they also respected each other’s differences.

Still, Alfred and Barbara Handler really liked each other and they enjoyed having fun together, which often included the whole family. One such example, was when Alfred directed community theatre and founded the Harvard Club Players in Boston. Another example, was when Barbara, an outstanding family cook, who loved to experiment in the kitchen, and never followed a recipe, enticed Alfred to assist her. Alfred was definitely, not a cook (though he was a master at the barbecue) and at first resisted, but soon could be found regularly, dicing onions, pureeing sweet potato, and anything else Barbara asked him to do. And without blatantly training Alfred in the art of cooking, over time, he too became very good at it, though admittedly, not in her league.

“My mother was my very best friend, and even though she lived a long life and we had her with us a long time, that time feels like a flash that was over far too soon,” said her daughter, Amy. “I miss seeing her at home and hearing her voice, and my greatest hope is that she is reunited with my father, her soul-mate and best friend. I also hope that I can be even half the sweet, strong and compassionate lady that she was,” said Amy. Barbara S. Handler was well loved by her family, friends and students. She impacted people’s lives in a positive way, with support and encouragement. Hers was a life well lived. And as for the fact that Barbara and Alfred both passed away on the same day, perhaps that is a coincidence at play, or perhaps, not…