What To Know About Gravesite Flowers

While a graveside service often fills the area around a loved one’s grave with flowers from an earlier memorial service, placing flowers on a grave in the weeks, months and years after is a caring ritual that says, “I still remember you.” Family and friends take or send flowers to cemeteries on anniversaries, birthdays, holidays and whenever they feel the pull of remembrance.

Types of gravesite flower arrangements

Whether an elaborate spray for a significant date or a grocery store bouquet for a typical Tuesday, the flowers you choose for a loved one’s final resting place show respect and love. What you choose to take to a loved one’s grave depends on where you plan to place them and the rules of the cemetery.

For loved ones with grave markers and monuments

If a loved one is buried in a cemetery or memorial park, their graves may lend themselves to a range of floral options—or they may not. This is where cemetery rules come in.

Cemeteries that allow upright markers and monuments may also allow larger arrangements, like flower saddles that drape over the tops of headstones, big bouquets placed in permanent vases attached to the monuments, or smaller arrangements in temporary vases designed to stake firmly in the ground.

Memorial parks are often designed with only flat grave markers and restrict gravesite flowers to small, designated vases or containers that are flush with the ground. This helps maintain a uniform and parklike aesthetic and means big floral arrangements or other decorations are usually not allowed.

Flowers for loved ones in cremation niches or mausoleum crypts

For those interred in mausoleum crypts, floral arrangements are necessarily smaller than what might be left at a ground burial site. Arrangements left on cremation niches and columbaria will be even smaller still—maybe just a stem or two.

Often the fronts of these spaces have bronze, porcelain or glass vases built in. That’s not always the case, however. Some cemeteries may allow you to attach a temporary vase with strong, double-sided tape, so long as it’s made of lightweight plastic and won’t easily break.

Before taking flowers to a loved one’s grave for the first time, it’s a good idea to check the cemetery’s website or call its office to ask about the rules and cleanup schedule.

The best flowers for a loved one’s grave

What gravesite flowers should you choose to take when you visit? It’s entirely personal, and every arrangement, from elaborate floral saddle to handpicked wildflowers, says, “I was here, thinking of you.”

Visitors may make choices based on:

The season: From vibrant spring blooms to winter greenery, seasonal arrangements lend fresh color throughout the year.

The holiday: Cemeteries often fill with marigolds around Día de los Muertos, lilies at Easter, and patriotic arrangements around Memorial Day.

A personal favorite: If your mom loved cabbage roses or your daughter had a penchant for daisies, it makes perfect sense to choose their favorite flowers.

A color: Different hues can carry different sentiments. Yellow flowers represent friendship, while blue ones are associated with sadness or serenity.

Floral significance: Flowers are said to have a language all their own. For example, carnations stand for love, loyalty, esteem and care.

Tips and etiquette for gravesite flowers

Anytime you visit a cemetery, it’s important to be mindful of the cemetery’s rules and general cemetery etiquette. Here are a few things to think about before you go.

Fresh flowers or silk? Some family and friends prefer fresh flowers for a loved one’s grave. However, silk flowers remain vibrant much longer. 

Do you need a vase or other container? If your loved one’s monument or marker has a built-in vase, you won’t need one. If the crypt, niche or columbarium front has a vase attached, you won’t need one. But if there’s not a vase provided, find out what the cemetery suggests or requires. 

Are you planning on planting flowers? Most cemeteries don’t allow families to do their own landscaping, which means planting flowers in the ground is not permissible. A gated private estate may be an exception, but even then be sure to ask the cemetery staff about the policy for in-ground planting before you show up with a garden spade.

Do you know the cemetery cleanup schedule? Cemeteries have regular times throughout the year when they remove items from graves. If you want your loved one’s flowers to remain in place for a while, you probably don’t want to place them the day before a scheduled cleanup. 

If you chose silk flowers, were they designed for cemetery use? Straight-stemmed silk flowers like those you buy at craft stores are susceptible to wind and may blow away easily, even if they are placed in a vase attached to a monument or mausoleum. That’s one reason to choose a professional arrangement over DIY. It’s also a good idea to label your bouquet with your loved one’s name, so cemetery staff knows where it belongs if it does blow away.

Florist deliveries to cemeteries

Florists who work regularly with cemeteries know just how to create stunning arrangements for gravesites. If you want to use a florist to send flowers to a loved one’s grave, you may want to speak with the cemetery staff ahead of time if you plan to order fresh flowers for delivery. Ask if the florist should take the flowers to your loved one’s gravesite (you’ll need to provide very specific directions) or if the arrangement can be delivered to the cemetery office for a member of the cemetery staff to place.

Alternatively, and perhaps more seamlessly, Cemetery Flowers is a service that places hand-tied, silk-blend bouquets on behalf of those with loved ones at Dignity Memorial^® cemeteries and memorial parks. You simply choose the flowers you’d like placed—and how often—and a team of professionals takes care of the rest.